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December 20, 2003

Witches curse celebrity talent judge
London Daily Record | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Simon Cowell will be lost for words at the Pop Idol final if a spell by hundreds of Scottish witches works. The white witches decided to put the spell on Cowell after he claimed Ozzy Osbourne's recent quad bike accident was a publicity stunt. Ozzy's family contacted the High Priest of British White Witches, Kevin Carlyon, to get revenge... 'He should suffer in some way and if it means dabbling in the darker side of our witchcraft, then so be it.' The witches have also called on their powers in a bid to help heal Ozzy, who remains critically ill in a Berkshire hospital."

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Qaddafi coughs up WMDs
The Scotsman | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Libya will end more than 20 years of isolation as a 'pariah state' after promising to renounce terrorism and dismantle its secret weapons of mass destruction programme, Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, said last night... Blair said nine months of negotiations between British and Libyan officials had resulted in the decision by the country's leader, Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi, to scrap plans for chemical and nuclear missiles, which were understood to be at an advanced stage."

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Dead Jews still shanghaied by Mormons
Jewish Week | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Despite a 1995 promise to stop baptizing deceased Jews, the Mormon church has not removed the names of thousands of Jews within its database who were earlier baptized, and a church official admitted that more Jews may continue to be baptized posthumously... among the Jews the Mormons posthumously baptized were David Ben-Gurion, Israel's first prime minister, and Theodor Herzl, the founder of the Zionist movement. Anne Frank, Moshe Dayan and Albert Einstein have also been baptized, critics claim."

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Penises amputated after pointless ceremony
Independent Online | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Five youths have had their penises amputated after botched circumcisions in the Eastern Cape since the beginning of November, the provincial health department said on Friday... The youths were victims of traditional surgeons running illegal circumcision schools, which the department is fighting to eliminate."

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Miss Savannah charged with murder
Atlanta Journal Constitution | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"[Sharron Nicole Redmond, the reigning Miss Savannah] is accused of shooting her boyfriend, possibly during a fight over another woman, police said... A high school teacher, Redmond graduated summa cum laude from Spelman College in Atlanta after completing a double major in English and pre-medicine in three years, according to the Miss Savannah Web site... Redmond will likely won't lose her crown as Miss Savannah unless she's convicted, said Tim Strickland, co-chairman of the Miss Savannah pageant."

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Buttafuoco arrested for alleged insurance fraud
KCAL-TV 9 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Joey Buttafuoco, whose affair with a teenager led to his wife's shooting, was arrested Wednesday and charged with insurance fraud for allegedly making phony repair estimates at his San Fernando Valley auto body shop... Buttafuoco told undercover investigators how to file phony insurance claims for undamaged cars, the Los Angeles County district attorney's office alleged in a statement."

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Prosecutors chasing Limbaugh's medical records
Sarasota Herald-Tribune | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Rush Limbaugh's seized medical records are 'relevant and necessary' to a prescription drug investigation and should be unsealed, a prosecutor argued in court papers Friday... Prosecutors are investigating whether Limbaugh obtained and used prescription painkillers illegally. No charges have been filed."

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Ashcroft fined $37K for $112K violation
Washington Post | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"During more than two years of investigating two campaign committees that Attorney General John D. Ashcroft maintained when he was in the Senate, the Federal Election Commission never directly questioned Ashcroft or obtained a sworn statement from him... On Tuesday, the FEC announced a 'conciliation agreement' under which the complaint was settled when the Spirit of America PAC and Ashcroft 2000 agreed to pay a $37,000 fine for what the FEC said was $112,000 in illegal contributions to the Senate campaign committee."

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Club bans nude swimming 121 years later
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Bob Bellin, president of the [Milwaukee Athletic Club], says he appreciates that the prohibition on nude swimming, which is to begin Jan. 2, is somewhat controversial... Bellin says the nude swimming has made for some eye-popping encounters over the years. He recalls when one of his four sons was taking a coed scuba diving class in the men's pool. A nude man, not knowing that a pod of scuba divers was hovering at the bottom of the pool, jumped in and began his regimen."

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NFL exec genius at insults
Gay Financial Network | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"[Detroit Lions president Matt Millen], rebuffed in his efforts to congratulate Chiefs receiver Johnnie Morton following Kansas City's 45-17 victory over Detroit on Sunday, responded by calling the former Lion... 'You faggot! Yeah, you heard me. You faggot!'"

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