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December 13, 2003

Strom Thurmond, secret miscegenator
Washington Post | Submitted by: optional
"A 78-year-old retired Los Angeles schoolteacher said she is breaking a lifetime of silence to announce that she is the illegitimate mixed-race daughter of former U.S. senator James Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.), once the nation's leading segregationist. In an interview, the woman said that Thurmond privately acknowledged her as his daughter and provided financial support since 1941... Williams did not provide definitive proof that she is Thurmond's daughter. Her attorney, Frank R. Wheaton of Los Angeles, said she is ready to submit to DNA tests if challenged by the Thurmond family. Williams said she has documents to validate her claim, including cashier's check stubs, mementos from Thurmond and a letter from an intermediary who delivered money from the senator... As a sample of her documents, she provided The Post with a copy of a 1998 Thurmond letter thanking her 'for the nice Father's Day note you sent me.'"

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Swordsman reportedly into Spidey, three-ways, D&D
New York Post | Submitted by: I Choose The Matrix
"The crazed Bronx man who slashed his wife to death with a samurai sword was a 'self-taught' martial-arts fanatic and Spider-Man fan who wanted to allow another woman into their relationship, sources said yesterday. Ivor Forbes, 32, who attacked Kisha Denton, 34, in a horrific naked bloody rampage in their home early Sunday, had made the suggestion over the past few weeks and Denton had 'resisted,' the source said. Denton, who had been married to Forbes for 18 months but had dated him for 14 years, died of her injuries after the attack - during which her head was slashed, the fingers of one hand were chopped off and scattered and another hand was partially severed. Arriving cops found Forbes naked and covered in blood shouting, 'I am God! I am God! I am immortal! You can't kill me!' ... 'Ivor was a huge Spider-Man fan,' [his sister] Nicole said. 'He was also into Dungeons & Dragons and collected knives and swords.'"

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Dad accused of killing incest baby | Submitted by: I Choose The Matrix
"A man charged with murder and rape for impregnating his 11-year-old stepdaughter and then killing the baby boy she delivered pleaded not guilty. Curtis Grayer, 37, appeared Thursday before DeKalb Superior Court Judge Michael Hancock... Grayer's wife, Sheila Hearns, told authorities her then-11-year-old daughter gave birth in October 2002 during a time when she said she and the girl were virtual prisoners in Grayer's home... Hearns said she believed Grayer dumped the baby's body in nearby Buena Vista Lake but investigators have found no remains."

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Man allegedly shoots girlfriend in rectum
WTVC-TV 9 Chattanooga | Submitted by: optional
"Montgomery Garner is charged with attempted first degree murder, after, police say, he shot Roxanne Arrowsmith... A police report says Garner put the barrel of a 38 revolver in the rectum of his girlfriend and then pulled the trigger."

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Iraq doomed to theocracy
BBC | Submitted by: Schwag of Tulsa
"Six months before the planned transfer of sovereignty in Iraq, new political forces have been filling the vacuum left by the fall of Saddam. But a brush with the new authorities can mean a familiar encounter over identity cards and threats... The murals of Saddam had gone, but they had been replaced everywhere by faces of Islamic leaders. In the Basra market they were selling posters of Ayatollahs as they had once been selling Saddam memorabilia... by getting rid of Saddam, the Americans have seamlessly given birth to Islamic fundamentalists."

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Canada apparently on the brink of total anarchy | Submitted by: Aaron Ruimy
"Canada's air force, as well as either the army or navy, will likely cease to exist around the end of this decade unless the federal government orders a massive infusion of cash, warns a Queen's University study... If the situation isn't fixed, Canada will have trouble exerting control over its own territory, making a contribution to the international scene and repairing the country's damaged relationship with the U.S., the study concludes... 'If this $18.5 billion allocation is not provided will be not simply a loss of international respect, but most likely the loss of control over most of Canada's territory and, ultimately, the forfeiting of national sovereignty.'"

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Identical twins charged with child rape
Miami Herald | Submitted by: I Choose The Matrix
"Identical twin brothers from Coconut Creek pleaded guilty this morning to sexually assaulting an 11-year-old girl. Aaron and Gonzalo Chavez, both 17, are going to a juvenile residential treatment center where they will likely spend at least two years, said prosecutor Nathan Avrunin."

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Sheriff caught lying about dumb joke
KGET-TV 17 Bakersfield | Submitted by: Larj Marj
"On September 26, 2003 KGET 17 received an email containing a picture of a Kern County Sheriff's patrol car with an official looking sticker on the side reading... 'We'll Kick Your Ass.' When contacted for an explanation, Sheriff Mack Wimbish told us he didn't have anything to do with it but that when he saw the decals he found out who was responsible and had them reprimanded... the sheriff claimed he knew nothing about the signs and that he thought they were doctored photos, when he now admits he knew they were stickers... The sheriff admits this was his idea in a way, because he walked around the department showing off a magazine drawing of a similar gag and said he thought it was funny."

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Keiko dies in Norway
Aftenposten | Submitted by: Bush Jaw
"Pneumonia is being listed as the most likely cause of death for celebrity whale Keiko, who made Norway his home late last summer after surfacing in a western fjord. Local officials are calling Keiko's sudden demise 'downright sad.' ... Officials cordoned off the area at Taknes Bay in Nordmoere, not far from Kristiansund, to keep the media and public away from Keiko's corpse. They said Keiko would either be brought up on land or towed out to open sea and slaughtered."

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Man arrested after narcing out own cat
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: When you pry it from my dead, cold hand.
"Lloyd Gregory Coleman repeatedly called 911, insisting deputies come and arrest his fugitive feline. The cat, he said, had outstanding warrants. Dispatchers warned Coleman to quit abusing the 911 phone system, but he kept calling. When police arrived, Coleman invited them to search his house for the cat... The cat never surfaced, but a prescription bottle of marijuana seeds did. Coleman was arrested on complaints of abusing the 911 phone lines, and possession of drug paraphernalia."

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