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August 22, 2003

Fair and balanced judge bitchslaps Fox, O'Reilly
Wire Services | Submitted by: Heavy Phloe
"A federal judge on Friday slammed Fox News' trademark infringement lawsuit against Al Franken and his publisher Penguin Group and refused to stop the sale of the liberal satirist's new book that pokes fun at the network and host Bill O'Reilly. Fox charged that Franken had violated its trademarked phrase 'fair and balanced' by including it on the cover of his book entitled Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.... 'There are hard cases and there are easy cases. This is an easy case,' said U.S. District Judge Denny Chin. 'This case is wholly without merit both factually and legally.' ... [He] pointed out that the word 'Lies' in the title is printed in large red letters next to a photo of O'Reilly. He said that there was no likelihood that book buyers would think that the sponsor is Fox or O'Reilly."

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Man survives trip to Vietnamese morgue
Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: Lily
"An elderly Vietnamese man who spent seven hours in a drawer at a hospital morgue in Ho Chi Minh City was found alive by relatives who had come to bury him, an official said Friday. ... Quan was sent to the hospital morgue at 11 p.m. on Aug. 15 and was discovered seven hours later by his daughter and son-in-law, who had come to take him home for his funeral, the English daily Vietnam News reported. ... 'When the morgue's officials pulled back the blanket, my father's eyes moved, brightening with joy.'"

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Israel's answer to Camp Delta | Submitted by: Matt Iskra
"The Israeli authorities have made every effort to keep its very existence secret. And even now that its existence has been revealed, the state refuses to answer the many questions of the world and of the Israeli public: Where is the facility? Who is being held there, why, and for how long? Were they tried before being locked up in Camp 1391, or are they awaiting trial? What are their conditions of incarceration? ... As far as is known, the 1391 site is the only detention facility whose detainees don't know where they are. If they ask, the warders may answer, 'on the moon,' or 'in outer space,' or 'outside the borders of Israel.' It is also the only detention facility that the state prevents the International Red Cross from visiting."

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Dykes murder tranny for crack money | Submitted by: C.Ron Vortex
"A lesbian couple has been sent to prison for the dismemberment murder of a transgendered housemate they had tried to rob. ... Casagrande, a onetime prostitute and a crack addict told officers how she and her partner Nicole Therese McGuinness had killed 53-year-old Joanne Lillecrapp in the house they all shared. Casagrande said they killed Lillecrapp because she refused to give them access to her bank account so the pair could get money for crack. ... At the end of her statement to police Casagrande said: 'All I want is my methadone.'"

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Habitat for Humanity crackhouse burns down
Muncie Star-Press | Submitted by: gumabear
"Police say the owner of a house built by Habitat for Humanity took advantage of the charity and turned the home into a crack house. And less than 24 hours after police raided the home, it caught fire. Fire officials said late Thursday that the blaze, which badly damaged the home, was suspicious. ... 'Most of the time the people who get those houses are good people who need help. Not everyone is going to take advantage of the situation like her and turn it into a crack house.'"

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Weather Underground prisoner wins parole
Court TV | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"The parole of 1960s radical Kathy Boudin -- denied twice in the past two years -- shocked and surprised family members, friends and colleagues of the three men killed in the armored-car heist she took part in 22 years ago. ... Boudin, 60, a one-time member of the Weather Underground described as a model inmate in prison, was denied parole three months ago and two years ago. ... In the robbery at the Nanuet Mall, $1.6 million was stolen and a security guard was killed. Two police officers were gunned down when the truck, with Boudin in the passenger seat and fellow radical David Gilbert at the wheel, was stopped at a roadblock in Nyack and the gang burst from the back of the vehicle with automatic weapons firing."

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Heat wave kills 10,000 French fogeys, cripples
Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"As many as 10,000 people may have died in France's heat wave, the government acknowledged yesterday, and a solemn President Jacques Chirac promised health system changes. But he also leveled a criticism at the public, saying many elderly victims 'died alone in their homes' while their families vacationed without them during their traditional August off. ... Speaking on television and radio after a cabinet meeting on the crisis, Chirac said, 'Many fragile people died alone in their homes. These dramas again shed light on the solitude of many of our aged or handicapped citizens.'"

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Brazilians sent packing over Beatles trivia questions
Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A lack of knowledge about the Beatles proved costly for six Brazilians -- immigration officials at Heathrow Airport sent them packing when they failed a quiz about the Fab Four. The Brazilians were given the quick test on Thursday after they claimed to be traveling to Britain for Liverpool's Mathew Street Festival, which celebrates the lives of the northern English city's most famous sons. ... They were stumped when asked who Yoko Ono was and erroneously told officials that Ringo Starr had died, according to the report."

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Australians debate merits of superhero costumes
Cybercast News Service | Submitted by: Super Buzz Beer
"Australian Prime Minister John Howard has slammed a decision by some kindergartens to ban children from dressing up as superheroes, saying the move was 'political correctness gone mad.' At least a dozen centers for pre-school children in the city of Melbourne this week declared that they have been practicing a 'superhero-free' policy, saying that dressing up as characters like Superman and the Incredible Hulk encouraged children to be aggressive. ... Howard told a Melbourne radio station Friday the decision was 'just ridiculous,' pointing too to a ban by some centers on children singing Christmas carols."

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Goth kids taking over Disneyland on Sunday
Orange County Weekly | Submitted by: juanholmes
"Disneyland has Gay Day. Disneyland has Raver Day. Disneyland had Yippie Day once, in 1970 -- it was fun, at least till the cops showed up in riot gear. Were pretty sure Disneyland has also had Sex Worker Day, Vegan Day, Rick Springfield Universal Fan Club Day, Trekkie Day, Trannie Day and Plushie/Furrie Day -- all unsanctioned and unknown by the park brass, naturally, but nonetheless, dates when life's variant subcultures can romp around the Magic Kingdom and feel that they've taken over the place. This Sunday, its the Goths' turn."

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Wesley Willis stops spanking the llama's ass
Alternative Tentacles | Submitted by: Soylent
"We are deeply saddened to report that Wesley Willis passed away yesterday, Thursday, August 21st. Wesley will be greatly missed by all that had the privilege to know him, as well as the fans who have been fortunate enough to experience his genius. Wesley was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML) at the end of 2002, and had to undergo emergency surgery on June 2nd to identify the source of, and to suppress internal bleeding. It is not clear if this bleeding was related to his leukemia or not, and the exact cause of death is still unknown."

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