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August 19, 2003

Burglar shitscared over bacon face
BBC | Submitted by: Gus
"Richard Morrison, 37, of Wavertree, Liverpool, returned home to find his door had been kicked in by police with a search warrant. They had been acting on a tip off from a criminal who had broken into the artist's home just days earlier. He told officer he had seen a human head in Mr Morrison's house. But it was in fact a mask made from [strips] of bacon, stored in formaldehyde."

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Saddam taunted by posters of transvestitism
CNN | Submitted by: Kaiser Wilhelm
"Now U.S. troops are giving us a whole new vision of Saddam Hussein -- a blonde-haired movie goddess with rouged lips and a low-cut blouse. 'Zsa Zsa Saddam' is one of a series spoof images of the ousted Iraqi dictator that are due to be posted on walls and billboards around his former stronghold of Tikrit by troops of the 4th Infantry Division's 1st Battalion 22nd Armored Regiment. The idea is to boost the morale of U.S. soldiers, ridicule the deposed leader and help identify those who are still loyal to Saddam."

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Hells Angels catch Phish bass player molesting 9-year-old, allegedly
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: KillPhish
"Investigators say Gordon -- who calls himself 'Cactus' -- was an invited guest backstage at Jones Beach. He was not invited, they say, to take a 9-year-old girl to an isolated location behind the theater. ... [a] police report obtained by WNBC-TV reveals 'The defendant stated he wanted to take "art photos" of the victim.' ... Law enforcement sources said that after the band member was arrested, he told officers, 'I may have shown bad judgment, but I am not a pedophile.' ... The Hell's Angels, who detained Gordon for police, were not, the sources say, gentle with sensitive areas of the rock star's body." [As in: his genitals.]

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Jailed white supremacists tortured by rap music
BBC | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A group of alleged white extremists facing treason charges in South Africa has complained about being forced to listen to 'black' music while on remand in prison. The men are being held in Pretoria's C-Max prison, where the Metro FM is played throughout the day. The BBC's Hilary Andersson in Johannesburg says Metro FM plays extremely loud music, including Rhythm and Blues, rap and South African kwaito, aimed at a young black audience. Lawyers for several of the 22 men on trial said this was a form of 'psychological torture.'"

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Big Brother finally persecuting homeless people
privacy.org | Submitted by: optional
The government is proposing a massive system of homeless tracking in the guise of improving benefits and efficiency. The system is called HMIS, and it links peoples' names and social security numbers to all sorts of personal information. The information will be kept for at least seven years, and law enforcement can get it by just asking for it.

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Deputies speak highly of crackhead ax murderer
Orlando Sentinel | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Convicted ax murderer John Buzia on Monday asked a judge to spare his life, saying he's sorry he bludgeoned a 71-year-old Oviedo man to death but can't explain why he did it. ... A psychologist testified at Buzia's trial that the defendant was in the middle of a two-week crack cocaine binge at the time of the slaying. Two Seminole County deputies testified Monday that Buzia had done good things while behind bars. Deputy Samuel Peterson said Buzia helped pull a tightly twisted sheet from around the neck of another inmate who was trying to kill himself. ... Deputy Richard Dickens Jr. also testified that Buzia regularly talked to children ages 10 to 17 as part of a 'scared straight'-type program designed to keep first-time juvenile offenders out of jail."

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Westchester told to pay pedophile clown $2,500
Westchester Journal-News | Submitted by: Buzz Beer
"A federal judge ordered Westchester County yesterday to pay a twice-convicted pedophile $2,500 for violating his rights by past refusals to allow him to perform his clown act for children at Rye Playland Amusement Park. But Judge John S. Martin approved the county's park regulation crafted earlier this year that bars convicted pedophiles from obtaining performance permits if their acts are designed to 'entice a child to congregate around' them. ... County officials hailed the ruling as a victory, though they said they were perplexed by the judge's decision to award Hobbs the money. Hobbs' convictions [for child molestation] came to light in 2001, when he ran for the Westchester County legislature on the Right to Life Party line. At the time, he told a Journal News reporter, 'Regardless of the fact of whether I'm guilty or unguilty, there are no children at the county legislature.'"

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Probate court handling will of Hemingway's tranny child
Orlando Sentinel | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A judge refused Monday to accept a competing will in a dispute over the $7.5 million estate of Gloria Hemingway, the transgendered child of novelist Ernest Hemingway. ... Gloria Hemingway, born the author's youngest son Gregory, died in a Miami jail after her arrest on an indecent exposure charge in 2001."

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One step closer to feasible zombie potions
betterhumans.com | Submitted by: keelboard
"'In culture, rat brain cells usually live about three weeks,' Rzigalinski said. 'The cells exposed to the engineered nanoparticles lived three to four times longer.'"

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College kid busted in Segway snatch
New York Daily News | Submitted by: Buzz Beer
"Cops have recovered the first space-age Segway scooter to be reported stolen in the city and arrested a college student, police sources said yesterday. The $5,000 gizmo was reported stolen in Manhattan June 23 and detectives traced it to Yili Wang, 24, after he allegedly sought help on the Internet to start its motor without a key." [When is somebody finally going to do something about that pernicious Internet?]

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