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August 17, 2003

Fox News Channel vs. Al Franken
Daily Rotten | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
This is the entire text of the legal complaint filed against Al Franken and Penguin Books on behalf of Fox News Channel and Bill O'Reilly. It has been converted from an Adobe Acrobat document into an HTML web page for your reading pleasure.

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Bad day on the midway
KOMO-TV 4 Seattle | Submitted by: Gorg
"A man was killed Saturday when his long hair got caught in the amusement park ride he owned, pulling him up as high as 40 feet before he fell, back-first, onto a fence. ... The ride was in progress at the time, and McKay's hair got caught on a car full of fairgoers, said sheriff's spokeswoman Jan Smith. He was pulled between 25 and 40 feet into the air. 'It basically scalped him, and he fell and landed on the fence.'"

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Man decapitates corpse, wins hashish
nettavisen.no | Submitted by: optional
"The vandals ruined interior worth NOK 68,000 as they broke into a morgue and desecrated dead bodies on 14-15 June. The main suspect has admitted he beheaded one of the dead bodies. ... The 26-year-old is said to have chopped the head off the dead body as part of a bet where the prize was some hashish. The 26-year-old later showed off the dead body at a party." [Listen up, people: friends don't let friends desecrate corpses.]

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Next governor of California: Gallagher?
Topeka Capital-Journal | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"You can't terminate the Terminator at the polls in California if you are smashing watermelons on a stage in Kansas. That is why comedian Gallagher, one of the 135 certified candidates seeking to replace California Gov. Gray Davis, has postponed his Sept. 6 concert at the Topeka Performing Arts Center. ... Gallagher, who will be on the ballot as 'Leo Gallagher,' and Schwarzenegger aren't the only entertainers running for governor. The list also includes Gary Coleman, former child actor, and Mary 'Mary Carey' Cook, an 'adult film actress.'"

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Gary Coleman & that porn chick in debating game
KRON-TV 4 San Francisco | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The Game Show Network has snagged the other Arnold to take part in the gubernatorial election debate it plans to broadcast October first. The cable network says former child actor Gary Coleman, best known as Arnold on the 1970s-80s sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, has agreed to take part in the debate. So has adult film star Mary Carey. ... They will be among a panel of five who will appear on the channel's Who Wants to Be Governor of California? The Debating Game, which will include a political debate produced in the style of a game show."

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Cops sell informants, impounded coke to drug lords
CNN | Submitted by: Kaiser Wilhelm
"Two Colombian police officers sold the identity of informants working for the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration to drug traffickers, who hunted them down and killed them, according to a police intelligence report cited in a newspaper on Saturday. The two officers, a captain and a lieutenant, received roughly $140,000 for the names of three informants in the Caribbean city of Barranquilla late last year, El Tiempo reported. ... The police intelligence report also said the two officers negotiated the return of three tons of cocaine that had been confiscated after a tip-off by the informants to the DEA."

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Saddam's hypothetical son Ali
Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Under Saddam Hussein's rule, people whispered, rather than talked, about Ali, the young man reputed to be the dictator's son by his second wife. Ali's very existence was a taboo topic. But since U.S. troops killed Hussein's notorious sons, Uday and Qusay, last month, Ali is suddenly on the minds and lips of Iraqis, for he would be Hussein's last surviving son and thus the family's greatest hope of regaining power at some stage."

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The scourge of black-on-black litigation
BET | Submitted by: kade
"In an increasingly common racial discrimination case, a Black man won a settlement against another Black man for being degraded because of his skin color. ... Dwight Burch, a former employee, accused his manager at the Jonesboro, Ga., restaurant of repeatedly referring to him as a 'tar baby' and 'Black monkey' during his three months at the restaurant. Burch also alleged in his suit that his manager told him to bleach his skin and that he was fired when he threatened to report the man to officials at Applebee's headquarters."

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Nobody loves Argentina's Judas
Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Perhaps no Argentine is as reviled by his countrymen as Astiz, the blond, blue-eyed navy captain who was implicated in the kidnapping and murder of women, children and nuns during Argentina's 'dirty war,' the seven-year purge of an estimated 9,000 to 30,000 suspected dissidents by a junta that seized power in 1976. ... Women have spit on him. Men have chased him with crowbars."

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Designer vaginas all the rage in Britain
observer.guardian.co.uk | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The demand for increasingly bizarre cosmetic surgery has taken a new twist, with women undergoing genital operations in order to boost their sex life and their self-esteem. More than 100 women over the past year have been to private clinics around the UK to undergo surgery which is aimed at improving their relationships, particularly after childbirth. ... The Harley Medical Group, which has 10 clinics around the country, is now offering both vaginal tightening and labial reduction for a total of around 5,000."

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General upset over Iraq War videogame
Guardian | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"General Sir Michael Rose, one of Britain's most respected and highest ranking soldiers, has condemned a computer game that features graphic video footage captured by US troops during the Iraq war. ... Sir Michael said the idea of a game using footage shot by real soldiers in a conflict situation was 'bizarre' and threw up complicated moral questions. 'War is not a game and the moral issues involved in taking live footage and turning it into a game are questionable.'"

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Canadian Idol finalist nailed for public wanking
Canoe | Submitted by: nixxxon
"He wanted to be a Canadian Idol, exposed to millions of CTV viewers. But instead of singing on a national television show, Ramon Garfield Gordon will live with his mother for the next six months, under house arrest for a different type of exposure -- he ran around Winnipeg last winter, naked and masturbating. ... Gordon, 23, was a Winnipeg finalist and had already received his airplane ticket to Toronto when he was arrested June 3. ... Gordon was nabbed by police after a man was seen near the Osborne Street bridge naked, except for a white T-shirt -- complete with eye holes -- draped over his head. The man masturbated for oncoming traffic before he ran down the riverbank." And much, much more.

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