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August 05, 2003

Governor Flynt's plan for California
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Larry Flynt, who built an empire on raunchy pornography, said Monday he is serious about running for governor and would consider spending millions of dollars of his own fortune to bankroll a campaign aimed at fixing the state's budget problems. He also said he would expand gambling, consider legalizing prostitution and drugs, and declare an amnesty for illegal immigrants."

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Mother of two becomes dog food
nettavisen.no | Submitted by: optional
"A Swedish woman died last weekend after falling into a meat grinder with her 31-year-old daughter witnessing the accident. ... The mother was running a small factory in Bua, Sweden, along with her daughter. The family business produced and sold mink food, fish flour and dog snacks. On Friday night the mother and daughter were cleaning the plant. Somehow the mother fell down into big container where the giant grinder hit her."

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Secret British PR plan inconsequential, please ignore
observer.guardian.co.uk | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The Ministry of Defence confirmed last night that a document at the centre of a security breach three days after the suicide of government weapons adviser David Kelly had been passed to police investigating the death of the scientist. But the MoD fiercely denied allegations that it had attempted to burn or shred a 'media plan' relating to Kelly at their Whitehall headquarters. The Daily Telegraph reported that officials were preparing to incinerate a media strategy dealing with the fallout from the Kelly affair when they were spotted by security guards. ... The MoD confirmed there had been a security breach on 20 July when guards discovered that a document referring to Kelly had been mistakenly placed in a 'burn bag' to be taken for incineration. The incident would normally have been dealt with internally, but the guards took the unusual step of alerting the Ministry of Defence Police."

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Qaddafi wants to make friends, but won't apologize
ABC News | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Nearly 15 years after Pan Am Flight 103 exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland, former diplomats and Arab world experts maintain the old Muammar Qaddafi -- the one behind numerous terrorist attacks in the 1980s -- has curtailed his rogue ways and is even signaling that he would like to establish a relationship with the U.S. government. ... After the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, Qaddafi was one of the first Arab leaders to issue a statement of condolence to the United States. ... State Department spokesman Greg Sullivan confirms Qaddafi even provided intelligence on al Qaeda cells to the U.S. government."

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Labwork resolves which of 7 priests impregnated woman
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Twenty-year-old Jacqueline Milla grew up believing that her father was a priest. Now she knows it's true. Milla and her attorney announced the results of a court-ordered paternity test Monday at the entrance to Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral in downtown Los Angeles. ... Rita Milla said she didn't know who the father of her child was when she became pregnant in the 1980s. An observant Catholic who had planned on one day becoming a nun, Milla had long claimed she was molested by Father Santiago Tamayo of St. Philomena Church in Carson when she was 16. After she turned 18, she engaged in sexual intercourse with Tamayo and he introduced her to six other priests, whom she alleges she also had sex with."

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Top WMD inspector no scientist of any kind
baltimore.indymedia.org | Submitted by: prettynwitty
"When one hears of a 'chief weapons inspector' whose specialty is nuclear arms, whose responsibility is being able to oversee the search, detection, assessment/analysis of sophisticated weaponry and/or the often elusive evidence thereof, what does one automatically envision? ... David Kay, a former chief weapons inspector for the UN and now Bush's top pick for the job of turning up even traces of evidence that WMDs exist(ed) in Iraq... [is] no scientist -- his PhD is is foreign affairs or some other nonscientific discipline. He's about as qualified to search for nukes as Ronald McDonald."

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Iraqis 1, Halliburton 0
Guardian | Submitted by: Bonny Fide
"An American civilian contractor was killed Tuesday when a remote-control bomb exploded under the truck he was driving north of Tikrit, the U.S. military said. The contractor was employed by Kellogg Brown & Root, a subsidiary of Halliburton, a Houston-based oilfield-services and construction company. Halliburton, the former company of Vice President Dick Cheney, has major contracts for reconstruction in both Iraq and Afghanistan."

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Kim Jong Il elected in a landslide
Taipei Times | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"North Korea said yesterday that polls in which voters gave leader Kim Jong-il 100 percent support showed the communist state was 'firm as a rock' in the face of economic woes and isolation over its nuclear ambitions. The 61-year-old Kim was one of 687 deputies elected unopposed on Sunday for seats in North Korea's rubber-stamp legislature, the Supreme People's Assembly. North Korea's official KCNA news agency quoted the Central Election Committee as saying turnout was 99.9 percent of registered voters and that 100 percent of the votes were cast for the sole candidates."

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Acid victims receive makeovers
BBC | Submitted by: artimus
"A chain of beauty salons in Pakistan is gearing up to cater for a new kind of client - burn victims whose beauty treatments will be more than skin deep. An Italian charity, Smile Again, is teaming up with Depilex beauty salons from September to provide reconstructive plastic surgery for the victims of acid and kerosene attacks. ... Although acid burn cases account for only a fraction of overall cases of violence against Pakistani women, reports of them are alarmingly on the rise. There were 46 cases reported in Punjab province alone in 2002, up from nine the previous year." With photos.

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The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Mecca
World Net Daily | Submitted by: The Walrus Koo-Koo Ka Choo
"A refugee from the Muslim Middle East thinks he has discovered Islam's 20-point plan for conquering the United States by 2020 -- a plan revealed in the latest issue of Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin. ... 'The following is my analysis of Islamic invasion of America, the agenda of Islamists and visible methods to take over America by the year 2020,' Shorrosh says. 'Will Americans continue to sleep through this invasion as they did when we were attacked on 9/11?'" [Um, yes.]

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Impulsive decapitator lacking common sense
New York Post | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"An independent filmmaker who decapitated his business partner -- supposedly because he feared the victim was in the Taliban -- yesterday accused the police, prosecutors and the judge in his case of being corrupt. ... Powell was supposed to get 20 years, but Judge Donald DeRiggi said Powell's unusual statements may allow him to throw out the plea bargain and 'enhance' Powell's jail time to 25 years. Powell read from his prepared statement, 'I cannot get a fair trial,' because he believes the judge hates his lawyer. He said the jurist had 'disgraced' the court system 'by refusing to step aside and allow an impartial judge to try this case.'"

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Mike Tyson insolvent
New York Times | Submitted by: Adam Wilks
"Despite making about $400 million over the past 20 years, Tyson managed to squander his fortune. ... According to Tyson's bankruptcy filing, his foes include: The Internal Revenue Service, which is owed $13.4 million, and the British tax authorities, which are owed $4 million. The treasuries of Georgia and Michigan, which are owed $317,201 by Tyson's company, Mike Tyson Enterprises. Seven law firms, which are owed more than $600,000 by Tyson and his company." And so on.

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Judge lacking sense of propriety
Newsday | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"An immigration judge was placed on administrative leave Monday after complaints that he made jokes about Tarzan to a woman who had been raped and tortured in her native Uganda. The woman, whose first name is Jane, went before Judge Thomas Ragno in June, seeking political asylum in the United States because her husband was killed and she was beaten, raped and tortured in her homeland. 'Jane, come here. Me Tarzan!' Ragno said. ... During the court session, Ragno also listed to a weather forecast on his speaker phone and discussed his search for a new condominium."

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U.S. solider killed by happy Iraqi
centcom.mil | Submitted by: I hate everything
"A 1st Armored Division soldier died August 1 of a gunshot wound received at approximately 7:30 p.m. on July 31. The soldier was standing outside when a bullet, fired from a celebrating Iraqi, struck him."

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Friendship ruined by ear-biting incident
BBC | Submitted by: optional
"A man who bit off his best friend's two ears during a row over a broken window has been imprisoned for 15 months. ... James McGrory, 30, who had been drinking and smoking cannabis before the attack, shrugged his shoulders at Glasgow Sheriff Court as he was told that prison was the only option. ... In a letter handed to the court, McGrory wrote: 'I did not mean to do what I did. I was shocked by the way I reacted. I hope one day we can be friends again.'"

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Liz Taylor lawsuit alleges gay butler action
Sunday Times | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Elizabeth Taylor is at the centre of a tawdry legal drama in which she is accused of having sex with her own butler. Taylor's former gardener has made extraordinary claims that the film legend slept with her gay butler in her Hollywood mansion. He has also made the humiliating claim that the 33-year-old butler needed to take Viagra to have sex with the 71-year-old film star, a woman famous for receiving priceless jewellery from adoring men who fell under her spell. The gardener also claimed the butler mockingly referred to how he 'had to jump on the old trampoline.'"

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Topless pornstars to protest nudity laws
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Five foreign porn performers plan to ride topless down Auckland's main street tomorrow in a lunchtime protest against New Zealand's nudity laws. ... New Zealand adult film-maker Steve Crow is behind the protest and a spokeswoman said he was not expecting authorities to try to stop it. 'His partner is a policewoman and he was aware there could be some problems, so he rang police to warn them,' she said. 'They told him they would turn a blind eye.'" [That was before he went around blabbing about it.]

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City pool worker calls police over topless 3-year-old
Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"It may be all right for girls to bathe topless in pools in, say, Brazil, but don't try going topless at a water park in Detroit -- even if you're only 3 years old. ... Suhayla had her bikini bottom on, but her mother had forgotten the matching top. ... Topless toddlers apparently can spark lust in adults who are sexually attracted to children -- at least that's what Sorel said the park's security guards repeatedly told her during the standoff. ... The guards then threatened to call Detroit police on Sorel and her topless tot. And finally, at Sorel's own urging, they did."

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Kentucky's worst jail?
WLEX-TV 18 Lexington, KY | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The Perry County Jail is being investigated after two county officials complained of prostitution, drug use and inmate abuse at the facility. ... As for sex in the jail, Feltner admitted that carelessness by a maintenance worker earlier this year allowed female inmates to get a master key to jail cells, which they used for two weeks to get into male inmates' cells. Pratt said state police are investigating whether female inmates obtained drugs from guards in exchange for sexual favors."

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Naked Raelians emulate mad scientist's bumper sticker
NZ Scoop | Submitted by: Macki
"In response to the event 'Bare Witness' which took place in Great Britain this past June 29th where 30 demonstrators gathered fully naked to form the words: 'No GM,' more than 300 naked Raelians had gathered to form the words 'I love GM' during their Annual Sensual Meditation Seminars. This demonstration took place on Monday July 14th at 2PM at UFOland." [UFOland? Annual Sensual Meditation Seminar?]

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