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July 17, 2003

Civilized cannibal killer charged with murder
BBC | Submitted by: Zomba Soul
"A German man who confessed to killing and eating a man he met through a website for cannibals has been charged with murder, prosecutors have said. The 41-year-old suspect, identified as Armin M, is alleged to have killed the 43-year-old victim in March 2001 in the town of Rotenburg in central Germany, after meeting him through the site. He then carved up and froze portions of the man's flesh, later eating some of it, prosecutors allege. The crime was apparently carried out with the victim's full consent."

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Daughter's corpse held for alien resurrection
CNN | Submitted by: angeli
"A distraught Kazakh mother kept her daughter's mummified corpse in her apartment for three years hoping she would be resurrected by aliens. ... the mother appeared to have been influenced by a sect preaching 'cosmology' that promised resurrection of her child with the help of a 'third cosmic eye' or by aliens."

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Monkey meat smugglers endangering the public
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Zomba Soul
"The big suitcase confiscated at Logan International Airport contained something shocking: the butchered remains of 26 monkeys from the west African country of Guinea, 300 pounds of meat destined to be the main course at a wedding reception. But what some people call food, wildlife inspectors consider a dangerous biohazard, possibly carrying diseases including monkeypox and the deadly Ebola virus. ... Dr. Robert Cook, vice president and chief veterinarian of the Wildlife Conservation Society, said the trade is a 'significant method of transmission' of a litany of deadly diseases 'because it is so prevalent.' ... the demand for meat products from Africa, Asia, and Latin America continues with an unprecedented wave of immigration. Rats, bats, turtles, and monkeys represent a few examples of the animals smuggled into this country for human consumption."

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Worst eulogy ever
Santa Fe New Mexican | Submitted by: freakymeatballs
"At the funeral for former Chama councilman Ben Martinez, a priest said 'clearly, loudly and without hesitation that the Lord vomited people like Ben out of his mouth to hell,' according to a lawsuit filed by Martinez's family against the Archdiocese of Santa Fe. ... Mansfield used 'graphic terms to describe the fact that Ben Martinez had been living in sin and that if a person is lukewarm in their faith, as he stated Ben Martinez had been, that the Lord will vomit you out,' the complaint says. ... While walking to the grave site, the complaint says, Mansfield told Rivas 'he did not give a (expletive) what the people of Chama thought, that he had put the Martinez family in their place.'"

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Liberian dictator still clinging by his fingernails
MSNBC | Submitted by: shaiwa
"Charles Taylor, an indicted war criminal who sparked Liberiaís ongoing strife with his 1989-1996 insurrection, [announced:] 'If I were to leave this country before the peacekeeping troops arrive in this city, I see disaster... I see trouble. I see murder, mayhem. I see rape. I see total destruction.' President Bush repeatedly has called on Taylor to step down, undercutting Taylorís reputation in a nation that holds the United States in such high regard. ... Taylor has been indicted for war crimes in neighboring Sierra Leone, accused of supporting a brutal rebel movement known for hacking off civilianís hands, feet, ears, noses and lips."

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Parents starve quadruplets, one dies
WCAU-TV 10 Philadelphia | Submitted by: Fast01gt
"A Montgomery County couple has been arrested on murder charges, accused of starving their own 4-year-old son to death. ... Prosecutors claimed that Shawn literally starved to death and the parents did nothing to prevent it. An autopsy revealed that malnutrition contributed to Shawn's death. He was found in the family home, which police said was filled with filth, clutter and animal waste. The Montgomery County district attorney, Bruce Castor, said Wednesday that all of the children were emaciated. Castor said the children looked like holocaust victims with their ribs protruding through their skin."

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Big Brother thwarts carjacking
Washington Post | Submitted by: optional
"The global-positioning and communications device helped police track the carjacker during a wild high-speed chase Tuesday night and eavesdrop indirectly inside the vehicle... The TeleAid system consists of a microphone, a cell phone connection and a computer system linked to most aspects of the car. ... After talking to the sergeant and Plaia, the TeleAid representative began tracking the woman's stolen car on a digital map as it careened through suburban Maryland. TeleAid officials, using the cell phone connection and microphone in the car, also could listen to what was happening inside the vehicle." [Yes, the eavesdropping device was factory-installed.]

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Scientology reaching out to Ground Zero personnel
MSNBC | Submitted by: J. Travolta
"'The tragedy of 9/11 left hundreds of members of the New York Fire Department (FDNY) and other rescue workers at the World Trade Center site, severely debilitated from the toxins they were exposed to during the tragedy,' notes an article on a Scientology Web site. 'To get rid of the toxins a group of the rescue personnel recently began L. Ron Hubbard's Purification detoxification program...' But critics of the group say that Hubbard's 'detoxification' process has been called into question, and may even present health risks. 'And the firefighters may get more than they bargained for since Scientology often recruits new members from Hubbard-inspired programs,' says Rick Ross, who wrote about it on his Web site."

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Kim Jong Il, honorary Mexican
kcna.co.jp | Submitted by: Boat6float
"General Secretary Kim Jong Il was awarded the title of Honorary Citizenship and received a gift from Nezauacoyotl city, Mexico. ... The mayor said on the occasion that the officials and citizens of the city boundlessly revered Kim Jong Il wisely leading the Korean people in their daring struggle against the U.S. arbitrary practice and had decided to register him as an honorary citizen of the city in token of their unanimous desire."

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Driver spanks bare-assed teens for fucking on school bus
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | Submitted by: buck_fabies
"A veteran Ligonier school bus driver agreed to plead guilty yesterday to spanking two teenagers who believed they had been caught on surveillance tape having sex on a school bus. ... In late June, Ligonier Township police charged him with simple assault, indecent assault, endangering the welfare of children, corruption of minors and invasion of privacy. ... Police said that on June 24 Lemmon took the girl to the hunting club and forced her to remove her pants and underwear before spanking her. The boy went to the camp three hours later and was also forced to remove his pants and underwear and was spanked."

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Corpulence establishes innocence
Allentown Morning Call | Submitted by: Ellis D Trippman
"A 47-year-old locksmith from Bangor accused of exposing himself to a female customer allowed doctors to measure him, his lawyer to show photographs of him and stood before a jury in his briefs to prove his innocence. ... His thighs, which he showed the jury by pulling down his slacks, have multiple, flabby folds of skin on them because he is overweight at 5 feet, 9 inches and 312 pounds. They also have reddish blotches on them from rubbing together."

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Sewer penis just a fake
AZ Central | Submitted by: FastEddy
"What was thought to be a human body part found at a sewage plant in Kingman last month turns out not to be after all. It initially appeared to be a penis. But the Mohave County medical examiner says it's latex or plastic and probably is a novelty shop item."

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The globe cannot afford a first-world China
CNN | Submitted by: J.Guerin
"China's ambitious economic growth plans are environmentally unachievable because the world does not have enough resources to allow its 1.3 billion people to become Western-style consumers, a U.N. official has said. ... if China had the same density of private cars as, for example Germany, it would have to produce 650 million vehicles -- a target that environmentalists say the world's supply of metal and oil would be unable to sustain."

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Teen pleads innocent to brutal dykebeating
WHDH-TV 7 Boston | Submitted by: optional
"A 15-year-old girl charged in a July 4th attack on a lesbian who had to get 200 stitches in her scalp pleaded innocent Wednesday at her arraignment in juvenile court. ... Lisa Craig, 35, was punched to the ground and kicked in the head by at least three teenage girls and a boy as she bought ice cream... Earlier in the evening, the teenagers allegedly had shouted anti-gay epithets at the couple."

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Malpractice suit forces doctor to pay for childhood
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: billied
"The High Court stunned doctors yesterday with a landmark finding that a surgeon who bungled a woman's sterilisation is liable for the cost of bringing up her child to the age of 18. ... The dissenting judges questioned why, if a doctor was found liable for the costs of bringing up a child to age 18, it should logically stop there, when children could remain dependent on their parents for much longer. Chief Justice Gleeson asked about the costs of a wedding and Justice Heydon cited a Princeton education and expensive overseas holidays."

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Texas redistricting effort hits another snag
San Antonio Express-News | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The Republican senator tasked with drawing his party's redistricting map angrily withdrew his proposal Wednesday and stormed out of a committee hearing, leaving fellow senators awaiting the much-anticipated unveiling in stunned silence. The move by Sen. Chris Harris, R-Arlington, caused an abrupt cancellation of a Senate Jurisprudence committee hearing, the panel charged with voting out a map that the Senate could debate. ... Harris' withdrawal casts further doubts on the already clouded fate of congressional redistricting efforts promoted by state and national Republican leaders."

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Vatican dress code annoys summer tourists
CBS News | Submitted by: kade
"With temperatures soaring, tempers are flaring as the Vatican's dress police turn back tourists in shorts and bare shoulders trying to get into St. Peter's Basilica. Vendors are doing a brisk business selling paper pants and paper shirts -- turning St. Peter's Square into an open-air changing room. ... Enforcement of the dress turns into a battle each summer, but the verbal skirmishes have been heightened this July because Rome has been in the grips of a relentless heat wave."

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DMV withholds license over upside-down signature
Wilmington News-Journal | Submitted by: Buzz Beer
"This is a problem for the Delaware Division of Motor Vehicles, which informed Weinstein on Monday that his signature was 'unacceptable.' Weinstein said a clerk told him he would not get a new driver's license until he agreed to sign it 'right.' Weinstein, 45, of Glasgow, has refused, saying it should be up to him, not the DMV, to decide how he writes his name. ... he has been signing his name this way for more than eight years on all official papers, checks, credit cards -- even his old driver's license. It was never a major problem until this week, he said, when he went to the DMV office on Airport Road to change his address."

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Toddler gets sneaker endorsement
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A sportswear giant is signing up children as young as three in a bid to market its products and capture the next generation of stars. Reebok has offered to pay the school and college fees of three-year-old Mark Walker, an amazing basketball talent. Walker can score baskets from 10 metres out using a full-sized basketball with adult-sized hoops. ... Mark's mother LaShawn has made her decision. She said: 'Our Mark has the heart, drive and ambition to succeed.'"

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