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June 24, 2003

Church sued for perpetrating giant mindfuck for Christ
thedailytimes.com | Submitted by: wingnut
"A $2 million lawsuit has been filed in Blount County Circuit Court against a Blount County church, the pastor, the youth director, two deacons and several other church members. ... The suit alleges that group members were blindfolded and handcuffed with Velcro, 'dragged out' to the parking lot and told to climb in the back of a truck. According to the suit, Janie Doe fought back and pleaded to be let go but was laughed and yelled at by one of her alleged captors. ... When Janie Doe refused to deny Christ, the suit says there was the sound of a gunshot and she was soaked with water, then she began 'screaming and crying' before being told to go inside the residence of another church member." And that's just for starters.

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Conservative political strategist also runs swingers nonprofit
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A senior strategist of the opposition Conservative Party has revealed that he leads a double life as Britain's foremost organiser of upmarket sex parties. By day, Dougie Smith, 41, is the respectable co-ordinator of Conservatives for Change (Cchange), an influential Tory think tank. But by night, Mr Smith runs Fever Parties, a London-based organisation that hosts 'five-star' orgies for swingers. ... Mr Smith confirmed that for five years he had been bringing together a fashionable London set of professionals for sex parties in Mayfair townhouses and country mansions. ... 'I have never made a secret about the fact that I run both Cchange and Fever,' he said. 'The two things don't overlap and therefore do not pose a problem. Fortunately, we're living in the 21st century, and even naturally censorious people tend to feel slightly self-conscious about wagging their fingers at what consenting adults do behind closed doors.'" [If only that were so.]

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Mother disfigures daughter's face to bring family closer
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Buzz Beer
"Pham Thi Hanh, 49, was arrested in Ho Chi Minh City on Sunday shortly after tipping a cooking pot of hot vegetable oil over her daughter Vo Thi Thu Tram, 22, while she was sleeping. ... According to the city's police newspaper, Hanh told police her actions were prompted by anger because her daughter ignored her once she married a foreigner and became rich from her catwalk exploits. ... Hanh told police that she had worked as a street scavenger to support her daughter while she was growing up and had felt rejected by the lack of care her daughter had shown her in return, according to the Tien Phong newspaper."

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Tajik crushed by corpse dumped in Moscow sewer
Gazeta | Submitted by: Gazeta.Ru
"After a local gangster was shot dead by hitmen his body fell down an open manhole crushing an immigrant worker from Tajikistan to death. ... The murder victim had wanted to leave and was already getting into his car, when the worker called him back from the sewer. As he approached the manhole, gunmen opened fire from roadside bushes. The gangster was killed on the spot, and the unfortunate worker was killed after the dead body fell down the manhole crushing the Tajik to death. The killers managed to get away."

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Bulletproof vest demonstration goes horribly wrong
Denver Post | Submitted by: SamIam
"A 26-year-old man was stabbed to death when he donned a bullet-proof vest and the victim's uncle plunged a knife into his chest to test the body armor, police said. ... 'The suspect and victim were trying to demonstrate their belief that this type of protective vest could withstand a knife attack,' Davis said. 'Obviously that was incorrect.' ... The two men had previously carried out the same demonstration four or five times in front of witnesses without injury, Amando Aranda told investigators. ... The two men had shared a pint of whiskey, drank beer and smoked marijuana before the fatal demonstration." [Here comes another inspired anti-drug PSA.]

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Entertainer killed for Sid Vicious impression
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Skeletor
"A 25-year-old Filipino man has been stabbed dead for singing a Frank Sinatra classic out of tune during a birthday party. Police officer Noel Albis said the victim, Casimiro Lagugad, was asked to sing Sinatra's popular song 'My Way' during the party in the Manila suburban city of Caloocan on Sunday."

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Norwegian church grants quickie salvations
nettavisen.no | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"'Congratulations! You have received salvation!' This is the message a church in Hokksund, Norway, sends to people who read a prayer on their web pages. ... The user manual is available on the church's web pages. The church asks people to read out loud a two-line prayer. As the last word of the prayer is spoken, the salvation will happen, according to the information on the web pages."

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Cute bunnies spreading radioactive waste
BBC | Submitted by: Die Trying
"Managers at Dounreay have been ordered to stop rabbits from entering radioactive waste pits at the nuclear plant in Caithness. Inspectors from the Scottish Environment Protection Agency spotted the bunnies hopping in and out of solid low level waste pits during a recent routine visit."

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PETA assaults KFC honcho in Germany
AZ Central | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Animal rights activists in Germany sprayed fake blood and threw chicken feathers on the chief of YUM! Brands, owner of the world's largest chicken restaurant chain KFC, as he opened a new restaurant Monday in the city of Garbsen. ... 'This is an act of corporate terrorism, and we believe the perpetrator should be prosecuted under the fullest extent of German law,' said YUM! Brands spokesman Jonathan Blum." [Corporate terrorism?]

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Husband claims Old Testament trumps court system, traffic laws
Akron Beacon-Journal | Submitted by: Nabikichan
[After a woman received] a ticket for breast-feeding her daughter while driving on the Ohio Turnpike last month, [her husband claims that the government has no authority over his wife.] He made that claim, citing Mosaic law from the Old Testament and writings from the days of the Founding Fathers because of the couple's 'deeply held spiritual beliefs' ... 'according to our faith, I'm the head of the household. I'm responsible for what she does, and no one can punish her except me. So if they want to punish somebody, let them punish me. I am the defendant. That's the way I have to do things under my faith. And if I fail in that duty, I'm going to hell.' ... [Incidentally, their church] identifies the Beast as the federal government and some of its agents as the IRS, Social Security Administration, Environmental Protection Agency and the Drug Enforcement Administration."

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Mad at France? Light yourself on fire.
Ottawa CBC | Submitted by: goatee
"An Iranian demonstrator doused himself with gasoline and tried to set himself on fire outside the French embassy on Sussex Drive in Ottawa on Thursday. Police, other protesters, and a CBC reporter rushed in and restrained Mustafa Mohammedi, preventing him from igniting himself with a lighter. The 55-year-old Toronto man is the eighth person around the world who has tried to set himself on fire in a series of protests targeting France." With photo.

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Prisoner pulls classic 'fake gun' trick
CNN | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"An inmate already sentenced to life in prison under the state's 'three-strikes' law fled the courthouse using a fake gun made of cardboard and paper to fool guards, authorities said. ... McCord's handcuffs and shackles were removed while he was in court Monday for a hearing in yet another case. ... He ran from the courtroom and was tackled by a guard. As they were fighting, he pulled out what appeared to be a handgun. ... The fake gun was found in the road, officials said. It was made of cardboard from the backing of legal pads, stuffed with toilet paper and covered with newspaper blackened with ink from a ballpoint pen." [Just like Dillinger.]

Read article... and This article...

12 million bees escape on highway
KMBC-TV 9 Kansas City | Submitted by: Mikya
"Crews said about 25 million honeybees were inadvertently released after a tractor-trailer wrecked on an area highway over the weekend. Monday evening, about 12 million bees remained on the loose, KMBC's Bev Chapman reported." With video.

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LAPD investigating cop for misuse of secret database
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Officer Kelly Chrisman, 35, allegedly perused the database files of stars including Sharon Stone, Courteney Cox Arquette, Sean Penn, Halle Berry, Meg Ryan, Drew Barrymore, Elle Macpherson, Berry Gordy, O.J. Simpson and NBA star Kobe Bryant, the Los Angeles Times reported. The files contain such items as birth dates, Social Security numbers, unlisted telephone numbers, restraining orders and vehicles owned. ... During internal hearings into Chrisman's activities, LAPD has said Chrisman improperly used department computers to access data on celebrities, co-workers and girlfriends."

Read article... and This article...

Man blocks highway for 8 hours to throw 'puerile hissy fit'
BBC | Submitted by: Reading
"Nicholas Muton climbed onto the M1 with a noose around his neck, smoking cigarettes and swearing at police officers who tried to coax him down. A woman missed spending a final day with her terminally ill mother and a three-week-old baby had to be airlifted out of the traffic chaos during the incident which gridlocked the motorway. ... By 1130 BST he had climbed on to the motorway bridge on the A47 with a packet of cigarettes, a lighter, a mobile phone and a bottle of water. He said he was planning to commit suicide but changed his mind when he was on the bridge."

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Another pathetic excuse for another unprovoked slaughter
New York Times | Submitted by: Captain Prozac
"An American Predator drone aircraft firing Hellfire missiles destroyed a convoy last week that was believed to be carrying fugitive Iraqi leaders, and experts are trying to determine whether those killed might have included Saddam Hussein or his sons." Once again, acting with no real proof, U.S. officials have attacked and killed a large number of Iraqis that were posing no immediate threat to anyone. "American officials...on the condition of anonymity said the United States had never been certain that Mr. Hussein or his sons were in the convoy." This is getting more ridiculous by the day!

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