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May 18, 2003

U.S. government launching competitor to Al-Jazeera
Guerrilla News Network | Submitted by: Elizabeth
The White House is asking Congress for $62 million to be spent on founding the world's first 24-hour Arab-language satellite news TV network. According to a State Department spokesman: "We're just going to present clear and objective news, uncensored. We won't be a spokes-entity for the U.S. government but a means to present U.S. policy and the debate around it." Even money says they're just going to hire translators to dub the Fox News feed.

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Dead wifebeater turns out to have no penis
Canoe | Submitted by: samsgrrl
"She believed all the stories: that Heddington's first wife had been killed by a drunk driver, that his genitals had been burned and mutilated when he was a child, that he was too embarrassed to undress in the light. ... Officers who responded to Rudavsky's 911 call found a strap-on prosthetic penis under Heddington's clothing." Sort of an evil Billy Tipton.

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Gruesome photo of suicide bomber
Wire Services | Submitted by: optional
"An Israeli army soldier looks at the remains of a Palestinian suicide bomber in the West Bank town of Hebron Saturday May 17, 2003. A suicide bomber disguised as an observant Jew blew himself up in the Israeli controlled area of Hebron killing a couple of Jewish settlers." Um, it's gruesome.

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Pentagon pisses away $1 trillion
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Though Defense has long been notorious for waste, recent government reports suggest the Pentagon's money management woes have reached astronomical proportions. A study by the Defense Department's inspector general found that the Pentagon couldn't properly account for more than a trillion dollars in monies spent. A GAO report found Defense inventory systems so lax that the U.S. Army lost track of 56 airplanes, 32 tanks, and 36 Javelin missile command launch-units. And before the Iraq war, when military leaders were scrambling to find enough chemical and biological warfare suits to protect U.S. troops, the department was caught selling these suits as surplus on the Internet 'for pennies on the dollar.'"

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Family rips off, burns down chimp rest home
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A mother is accused of bringing her children with her when she broke into trailers at a retirement farm for aging chimpanzees, and her 9-year-old son is now facing charges he returned to the farm and set fire to the trailers, authorities said Thursday."

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Britain's "Dr. Death" treating patients in prison
Mirror | Submitted by: 10bellies
"Anger and disbelief last night greeted the revelations about Harold Shipman's hospital 'work' with the elderly at his top-security jail. A source said: 'It's like putting a paedophile in a children's ward. This man has spent his career secretly killing old people. Just imagine some poor guy's face when he looks up from his wheelchair and sees Dr Death is pushing it.'"

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Nobody likes the PATRIOT Act
Fox News | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"In a rare occurrence, conservative watchdogs are siding with liberal groups who say that several provisions of the anti-terror USA Patriot Act are cause for concern by Americans seeking to protect their basic rights. ... As of this week, the state of Hawaii as well as 104 cities and counties across the country have passed resolutions protesting federal law enforcement measures in the USA Patriot Act. ... Since January 2002, local governments in 24 states have passed resolutions ranging from symbolic protests to declarations that they will not cooperate with federal authorities if they come into their communities to conduct searches or surveillance on their residents."

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School system creates special bus for jerks
BBC | Submitted by: Bumpydog
"The threat of arriving at school on a pink 'punishment bus' is acting as a deterrent to badly behaved youngsters. The bus known as "Pink Peril" is the Isle of Wight Crime and Disorder Partnership's answer to misbehaviour on school buses. Niki Haytack, Crime and Disorder Manager, said: 'When troublemakers get a taste of the pink medicine, they don't want a second dose.'"

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Anti-lynching statutes used against blacks
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"South Carolina's lynching law, the only one of four in the nation that is still routinely used, was enacted to end the state's long history of white vigilante justice against blacks. But that law has borne strange fruit. Today in South Carolina, blacks are most often the ones charged with lynching defined in the statute as any act of violence by two or more people against another, regardless of race."

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Alabama conquers racial profiling
networks.org | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"The new head of Alabama's law enforcement agency has formally banned racial profiling by state troopers and added a new procedure for reviewing motorists' complaints. The policy, unveiled last week, prohibits troopers from stopping motorists based solely on ethnicity, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, religion, economic status, age or cultural group, and mandates annual training." You may now consider the problem solved.

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North Korea reportedly training hackers
beaufortgazette.com | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"North Korea, an impoverished communist country suspected of building nuclear weapons, has developed another weapon: cyber terrorism, a senior South Korean military officer said Friday. Maj. Gen. Song Young-geun, head of the South Korean military's Defense Security Command, said North Korea is churning out more than 100 computer hackers a year, and urged the South to boost its ability to fight 'cyber threats from the outside.'"

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Tourists convicted of kissing in Dubai
News Corporation | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"An Australian man and a German woman caught French kissing in the emirate of Dubai have been given six-month jail terms suspended for three years under condition they do not re-offend. The Dubai Court of First Instance found a 26-year-old Australian man and a 26-year-old German woman guilty of kissing in public. They were also fined $570 each for being under the influence of alcohol."

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British revolutionaries blow up traffic camera
BBC | Submitted by: Vomit
"A Gatso speed camera has been destroyed by a bomb planted on the main box which sent shards of metal flying more than 50 feet. ... The incident is the latest in a series of deliberate attacks on speed cameras across Britain which has been blamed on frustrated motorists. Dozens of cameras have been burned, toppled and driven into, but the A605 camera was believed to be the first that had been bombed."

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Hypnotist arrested for sex crimes
Connecticut Post | Submitted by: El Diablo
"A local hypnotist is accused of sexually assaulting female customers at his South Broad Street clinic over a three-year period. ... The [man] is charged with first-degree sexual assault, four counts of second-degree sexual assault, and tampering with a witness." The suspect has denied all charges, pointing out that you cannot compel someone under hypnosis to do anything they wouldn't want to do normally. So is he saying that he didn't have sex with them? Or that they wanted it?

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Pro-Saddam singer/activist murdered
News Corporation | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A famous Iraqi singer who used to glorify deposed president Saddam Hussein was assassinated by unidentified armed men in his Baghdad home... Qaissi, who was in his fifties, headed the union of Iraqi artists, and had mobilised singers, poets, actors and painters during the US-led war on Iraq to sing the praises of the Baath regime and the army."

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Why the British government loves the Sauds
Observer | Submitted by: Tobermory
Oil, fundamentalism and a corrupt regime -- a perfect recipe for mayhem. "The monarchy and bin Laden may be enemies, but the best way to understand Saudi fundamentalism is to see them as a continuum. The monarchy used oil wealth to export Wahhabism, their brutish version of Islam, around the world. Al-Qaeda meanwhile drew most of the cultists who died on 11 September and most of its money from Saudi Arabia."

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Drunken high schoolers rape boy with broomstick
New Zealand TV One | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Justice Goddard has granted three former Taradale High School students, convicted of sexually violating a fellow male student with a broomstick, leave to apply for home detention. ... All of the boys were involved in a discussion prior to the attack and knew what was to be done with the broomstick handle which was covered in a heat-inducing cream."

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Tough love
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Two parents accused of chaining their teenage sons to their beds at night to keep them from committing crimes were charged Saturday with felony child abuse. [The couple] tethered their 13-year-old and 16-year-old sons to their beds with heavy chains and padlocks from 9:30 p.m. until 6:30 a.m." The abuse was discovered when one of the boys told his probation officer.

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Naked man struggles with cops, dies in traffic
Galveston County Daily News | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Witnesses told sheriff's investigators that Jackson had been acting strangely at about 1:30 a.m. and got out of a car after it stopped along the northbound lanes of the freeway. He took his clothes off and then began running in and out of traffic. When deputies approached Jackson, he struck one in the face several times and bit and hit another." It's almost as if he thought he was invisible or something.

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Michigan police free the Hedgehog
New York Post | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Porn star Ron Jeremy got caught with his pants down and arrested after a 20-year-old woman claimed he assaulted her in a Michigan striptease club. ... Jeremy was arrested at his hotel and spent Friday night in jail. He was released the following morning at a bond hearing."

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Drunken couple arrested for noisy outdoor sex
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A report that someone was yelling on top of a water tower sent Slidell police scurrying to help early Friday morning. Authorities said they arrested a couple who told police they wanted to have sex 'on top of the world.'"

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Cardboard cutout doesn't count as carpooler
Newsday | Submitted by: Siannan
"'He was making gestures ... big, broad gestures with his arms, and nodding his head and moving his mouth,' said Officer Richard Klages, who was in uniform, standing near the Long Island Expressway median to patrol the HOV lane. 'It appeared to me that he was trying to make me believe that this passenger was a flesh-and-blood human being instead of a two-dimensional piece of cardboard.'"

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