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May 15, 2003

Texas Democrats located by Dept. of Homeland Security
Common Dreams | Submitted by: Hellboy
Republican lawmakers in both Washington, D.C. and Austin, Texas availed themselves of federal agencies within the Department of Homeland Security to track down missing Texas Democratic legislators. The Democrats had secretly fled to Oklahoma in order to shut down the legislature and scuttle a Congressional redistricting bill. The issue here is we were promised that the Department of Homeland Security would never be "used for domestic political purposes." Well, so much for that.

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New rule: no crippled counselors at cripple camp
Wichita Eagle | Submitted by: Incubus
"A parent of a child who has attended the Muscular Dystrophy Association summer camp in Kansas testified this morning that two women volunteering as counselors in wheelchairs would not keep him from sending his son. ... The MDA is in court defending its policy of requiring all camp volunteers to be able to lift campers in the event of an emergency." So they're kicking out two wheelchair-bound counselors who have worked at the camp for seven years. That's a great message for the kids: Believe in yourself. You can do anything. Except be a camp counselor for gimps like you.

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Dad stunguns eight-year-old son
Houston Chronicle | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"Children of a Brazoria County man who admitted using a stun gun to discipline an 8-year-old often went to school in dirty, adult-sized clothes or wandered around their neighborhood in nothing but dirty diapers. ... officials at Wild Peach Elementary School reported the 8-year-old said he had been ordered to walk five miles to school after missing the school bus. As he walked, he said, Moody would 'zap' him with the 100,000-volt stun gun each time he slowed down."

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Public Relations Awareness
Time | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Hoping to alleviate people's privacy concerns, the Bush administration is planning to give the Orwellian-sounding "Total Information Awareness" effort a more benign name. It's now scheduled to be rechristened the "Terrorist Information Awareness" initiative. Other than that, though, it's exactly the same program as before. Hope that makes you feel relieved.

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China threatens to execute SARS spreaders
Melbourne Herald Sun | Submitted by: lobsterboy79
"China has threatened to execute people who knowingly spread the SARS virus and cause death or serious injury. ... China is trying to prevent its outbreak -- the worst in the world -- from spreading from the capital, Beijing, to the countryside, where many of China's 1.3 billion people live."

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Incestuous Kentucky couple faces 568 rape counts
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Jonah
"Deborah and Donny Hoskinson, of Boston, Ky., each face more than 500 counts of first-degree rape. Donny Hoskinson reportedly raped the girl while his wife allegedly coached the girl and took pictures, according to investigators. ... they sexually violated the girl several times a week over a seven-year period."

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Yokel skewered by tire iron while attacking postman
WCMH-TV 4 Columbus | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"A 16-year-old boy is recovering after being impaled with a tire iron. Columbus police said a threatening dog's owner on Midland Avenue refused to take the animal inside when asked by a mailman. Police said that was when the homeowner's son attacked the mail carrier. The mailman sprayed the teen with Mace. Police said the boy's uncle then took a tire iron out of a car and threw it at the postal employee. The man hit his own nephew instead, puncturing the teen's lung."

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Man digs up child's cremains to reach former girlfriend
canoe.com | Submitted by: Hans Krule
"An 'obsessed' ex-lover dug up the ashes of his former girlfriend's deceased infant daughter and hid them inside the wall of an apartment to get her to call him, a court has heard. ... Meanwhile, the woman poured 14 bags of cement into the grave to prevent it from happening again." That's a pretty good DIY project, actually.

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Auction winner gains three decomposing babies
AZ Central | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A $75 purchase at a Safford auction led to a grisly discovery: the decomposed bodies of three newborn babies. The bodies had been decomposing in a storage unit filled with boxes of household goods for at least eight years, authorities said. They were discovered after someone purchased the unit's items sight unseen at an auction last weekend."

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Reckless driver kills motorist: his own mother
WRAL-TV 5 Raleigh | Submitted by: Dusik
"The State Highway Patrol said 18-year-old Yachterez Wood was speeding east along Wiggins Mill Road around 12:55 p.m. when he struck another vehicle head on. Inside that car was Wood's mother Nancy, and his older brother, Andre. Nancy Wood died at Wilson Medical Center."

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Tard left in own shit for six days
canada.com | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A nurse was fired and 19 other hospital employees were disciplined after a mentally ill patient was left isolated and wallowing in his own feces for six days. ... The patient who had been soiling himself was left alone in his room -- in his excrement -- to try to improve his toilet habits between last Dec. 31 and Jan. 6." No word on whether they achieved a therapeutic breakthrough.

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Corpse sitting in busy gym for two hours
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Jonah
"Members of a Colorado fitness club say they were shocked to see the body of a 55-year-old heart attack victim lying near their exercise area while they worked out. ... Although paramedics arrived minutes after Roberts died, his body was left for two hours. Authorities say the body was covered and the area restricted but club members say it was within their view during their workouts."

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Bob Crane murder site available on eBay
AZ Central | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"On Thursday, the apartment at 7430 E. Chaparral Road, where TV star Robert Crane was bludgeoned to death in 1978, goes on sale on eBay. When the Hogan's Heroes headliner died in a bedroom littered with porn videos and movie-making gear, he was instantly outed as a sex addict and pornographer." And now it can all be yours.

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Gay Africans fucking it up for everybody
BBC | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A joint report released in Cape Town by two human rights organisations said that verbal attacks by African leaders had led to a culture of intolerance in their countries. ... 'When Southern African political leaders like President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe make speeches saying that gays and lesbians are "worse than dogs and pigs," it should be no surprise that violent attacks follow.'"

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Another overly-produced Bush photo op
wishtv.com | Submitted by: PhxTed
First it was "Crate Gate." Then it was "Carrier Gate." Now, the Bush administration has gotten itself caught in another photo op embarrassment. It seems that Bush staffers couldn't find any "ordinary" Americans to be on the dais with him while he gave yet another speech extolling the virtues of tax breaks for the rich, so White House employees dictated that all of the rich guys behind the podium remove their ties to make them look more middle-class. One person who complied with the directive explained his rationale: "When the guy from the White House tells you to take your tie off, you don't ask why."

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Chinese baby gets lousy name
News 24 South Africa | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"A couple in China have named their baby son Saddam Sars to mark the two important events taking place at the time of his birth." Better than "Hitler Hiroshima" I suppose.

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Nefarious plan to kill ex-husband, intimidate daughter
Times Herald-Record | Submitted by: optional
"The mother of an 8-year-old rape victim was implicated yesterday in a bizarre plot to have the victim's father murdered. Samantha Jones, 35, of Bloomingburg, is accused of trying to have her ex-husband killed to regain custody of their daughter. The convoluted plan was hatched so Jones could gain access to the child and force her to recant her story about the rape."

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White supremacists get dumber around minorities
kgtv-tvhealth.ip2m.com | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"White people with a high degree of racial basis experienced a decrease in "executive function" after spending time talking with black people. ... The more racially biased the students were, the worse they did on the mental task after speaking with a black person. But racially biased students who spoke with a white person, even if they discussed racially sensitive issues, had no decline in mental function."

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Never mind cats & dogs, it's raining cows
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Twenty Holstein dairy cows grazing in the green hills of Marin County apparently got spooked late Wednesday morning and ran straight off a cliff, tumbling 50 feet down a steep hillside as stunned motorists looked on."

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Catfish sticks to frat guy
dailynexus.com | Submitted by: Jonny Jim
"Junior business economics major Kevin Sanderson was sent to the hospital Sunday after a mishap in the belly flop competition at the Delta Gamma Anchor Splash. Sanderson entered the competition with three of his Sigma Chi fraternity brothers... During the course of events, Sanderson ended up with a fish stuck to his face and a trip to the hospital."

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