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May 13, 2003

Escaped uberbadger killed after two-day rampage
Guardian | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Five people were injured when a badger went on a 48-hour rampage in a suburb, it emerged today. The Worcestershire Badger Society said the creature, which has since been put down, left one victim needing skin grafts after launching the 'unprecedented' attacks last Thursday and Friday. ... [The WBS chairman] acknowledged that injured badgers or those which were being handled had been known to bite humans, but attributed its 'uncharacteristic' behaviour to the fact it had been kept in captivity prior to its period of freedom."

Read article... and This article...

Artistic genius on trial for goldfish blender
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A Danish museum director has gone on trial on charges of cruelty to animals for an exhibit in which goldfish were liquidised in a blender to test visitors' sense of right and wrong. The exhibit at the Trapholt modern art museum in 2000 featured live goldfish swimming in a blender. Visitors were given the possibility of pressing the button to turn the blender on." Two patrons actually flipped the switch. This from the man who would later use paint mixed with heroin to make paintings.

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Dual-wombed freak gives birth to fraternal twins
BBC | Submitted by: kkkreative
Surprisingly, about one female in a thousand is born with two uteri. So it's not that rare. What is rare is for these chicks to have both barrels loaded.

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Mom puts gun to toddler's head, gets shot by cops
Tennessean | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
Karen Lynn Lovell ended up with a gunshot wound to the left temple after she escaped from jail last week and pressed a gun against her son's head. According to the cop who shot her: "She actually put the gun to the baby's head, and she said, 'I'm going to kill him.' She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. It was just like she was waiting to hear the shot." With photos.

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Ex-roommate hides in secret room, surveils house
AZ Central | Submitted by: J
"A man thrown out by his roommate returned to the home and hid in an attic crawl space for nearly six weeks, spying on the roommate through a telephone tap and hidden baby monitors, police said. The secret surveillance was discovered Saturday when someone investigating strange noises pushed a screwdriver into a hole in the ceiling, and the screwdriver was pushed back."

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Farrakhan's son arrested for hit-and-run, DUI
Newsday | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
Let's say you're driving your 1997 Hummer down the road. Maybe you've had a few drinks. And your license was suspended a while back. Seems like the only thing worse than getting into an accident would be getting into an accident and fleeing the scene. Like they're not going to be able to identify your vehicle. You're driving a Hummer, dumbass.

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Texas Democrats exile themselves to Oklahoma
Austin American-Statesman | Submitted by: David 'Inky' Scott
Democrats in the Texas House staged a walk-out in protest of the new Republican leadership as well as of a gerryman... er... redistricting effort on the table. House Speaker Tom Craddick locked down the chamber, and then promptly ordered out the Rangers and DPS troopers to hunt down and arrest the Democrats, who were found mostly at a Holiday Inn in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Huh? Since they were outside of the state, they could not be arrested by the Texas officers, and without the no-shows, the House couldn't make quorum, and thus could not do anything useful (not that the Texas Legislature does anyway). Today the Democrats returned to work, but from their hotel in Oklahoma. Which is perfectly reasonable, since by all rights Oklahoma ought to be annexed by Texas anyway.

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Typing monkeys produce a real mess
Guardian | Submitted by: Stalker Adam
Exactly what happens when you give monkeys a computer? Now we know. "The lead male got a stone and started bashing the hell out of it. ... Another thing they were interested in was in defecating and urinating all over the keyboard." The researcher behind the test summed up the results: "It was a hopeless failure in terms of science but that's not really the point."

Read article... and This article...

Hotel vouchers for hot teen action
Guardian | Submitted by: Hans Krule
"A Spanish tradition is under threat and conservative members of the community are angry. Nothing new there, except that the tradition is something the same people usually disapprove of -- the time-honoured practise, for those living with their parents, of having their first sexual encounters in the backs of cars, on the beach or in a secluded patch of countryside." The alternative? Hotel vouchers for kids to get it on in area hotels. According to the proponent's neighbor, a member of Opus Dei, this proposal is likely to "land him in hell".

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Technology turns turkey guts, human corpses into fuel
discover.com | Submitted by: Paul Park
A pilot plant in Philadelphia is capable of converting 200 tons of turkey guts into hundreds of barrels of fuel oil. According to the entrepreneur behind the enterprise: "If a 175-pound man fell into one end, he would come out the other end as 38 pounds of oil, 7 pounds of gas, and 7 pounds of minerals, as well as 123 pounds of sterilized water." But seriously, this thing sounds pretty cool.

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Bedsore punctures Norwegian's rectum, kills him
nettavisen.no | Submitted by: olev
"According to the death certificate he died because of 'bleedings as a result of a requital sore that was a result of senile dementia.'"

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War widow gets hubby's arm 7 weeks after funeral
Sun | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A war widow ordered to repay some of her dead husband's wages faced fresh trauma last night -- when his body parts were found seven weeks after his funeral. Lianne Seymour, 27, was 'devastated' to learn he was cremated without one of his limbs while other parts were in helicopter wreckage ferried to America."

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Flight attendant slips toddler a mickey
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: Bammer
"A former Northwest Airlines flight attendant pleaded guilty to assault for putting a prescription depressant in a toddler's apple juice to stop her crying. ... The incident last August was discovered by the girl's mother, Beate Turner, who took the juice off the Amsterdam-to-Detroit flight after noticing that it was bitter and foamy and had blue and white specks floating in it."

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Acid poured over stepdaughter's head
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"Prosecutors said Sioleski went to the home of his 22-year-old stepdaughter the morning of Jan. 22 following an argument with his wife the night before. Sioleski told the judge he poured a plastic cup full of [sulfuric] acid on her head, intending to burn her." Now he faces 25 years in prison.

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Thai politician trapped by car's onboard computer
thecouriermail.news.com.au | Submitted by: Hans Krule
"Thailand's Finance Minister Suchart Jaovisidha was a prisoner yesterday -- held captive by modern motoring technology. ... While on the way to make an important speech, he and his driver were locked inside his luxury car because of a computer malfunction. They had to signal someone to smash a window so they could crawl out."

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North Korea deploying laser weapons on the DMZ
Washington Times | Submitted by: Soylent
North Korea fired a laser gun at two U.S. Army Apache helicopters a couple of months ago in the Korean DMZ. Although there were no injuries and no equipment damage, analysts are concerned. "U.S. intelligence officials said an internal analysis of the incident suggests North Korea has acquired Chinese-made ZM-87 antipersonnel lasers." The weapon is intended to cause blindness.

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