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May 10, 2003

Drunk driver squishes preschool worker in front of tots
redding.com | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
A 63-year-old drunk driver with two previous DUI arrests crashed his truck through the front doors of a Northern California preschool, pinning an employee against a wall. She died on the spot, in front of an indeterminate number of toddlers. "Witnesses saw a speeding truck near Churn Creek Road and Le Brun Court, moments before it crashed through the doors of the building that serves as a preschool." According to a witness: "He went straight across the road. He perfectly made it right through the front doors." Some people are just perfectionists in everything they do.

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911 system no help to murder victim as cops listen in
Court TV | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Police dispatchers could do little but listen to Reinaldo Zayas scream as he was tortured to death by a gang of kidnappers. Somehow, the 25-year-old managed to dial 911 twice from his cell phone after his abduction Monday. One chilling call lasted 18 minutes, during which dispatchers could hear Zayas beg for his life." Although E911 equipment is readily available, Philadelphia has yet to upgrade its infrastructure.

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Life sentence for Halloween prank retaliation
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A South Florida man who ran down and killed a neighbor over a Halloween prank pleaded for mercy before learning his sentence Friday. In tears, Richard Day, 59, begged the judge not to sentence him to life. 'I want to go home to my wife and son,' he said. 'This is no way to retire, you know?'" After his house was egged on Halloween two years ago, Day hopped in his truck and ran down 39-year-old Richard Campbell, "dragging him nearly 200 feet to his death." Although he claims the killing was unintentional, "after the incident Day was heard laughing and saying that Campbell got what he deserved."

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British doctors craved brains
BBC | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"The brains of [roughly 50,000] mentally ill and depressed people were illegally removed for research, a government inquiry is expected to reveal. The report, to be published on Monday, is thought to say that between 1970 and 1999 brains were often given to researchers following a patient's death, without the consent of the families." Perhaps the United Kingdom has spent the last 30 years building an army of Frankensteins.

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Man charged with shooting gunman
Cincinnati Enquirer | Submitted by: buffaloBill
Two guys walk into a Cincinnati bar waving handguns, and one of them shouts: "This is a robbery. Nobody move." Then a bar patron whips out his gun and shoots one of the robbers in the head. Police wind up charging the vigilante with two counts: felonious assault and carrying a weapon inside a tavern. The two hoodlums are held solely for aggravated robbery. Apparently you only get charged with "carrying a weapon inside a tavern" if you weren't actually planning on pointing your gun at anybody in the bar.

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Man's conviction for making "bullshit art" reversed
Cincinnati Enquirer | Submitted by: buffaloBill
An appeals courts has exonerated the Cincinnati medical examiner who was convicted last year of "gross abuse of a corpse." Prosecutors claimed the pathologist had collaborated on a photographer's "bullshit project" which involved arranging bodies in the morgue "posed with sea shells, fruit, toys and other objects."

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Teacher rats out her students to Secret Service
kron.com | Submitted by: prettynwitty
During a class discussion on the war in Iraq, two high school students made some undisclosed remarks about George W Bush that prompted the teacher to drop a dime on them. Next thing you know, the Secret Service shows up and grills the teenagers about whether their statements were actual threats against the President's life. The SS agents were just doing their job, but that teacher's a narq.

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Wife attempts fresh-smelling murder
AZ Central | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"David Taylor says his wife wasn't trying to be romantic when she doused herself with perfume and huddled close. He says she was trying to kill him. Lynda Taylor, 36, was arrested Thursday on a charge of aggravated battery for alleging wearing perfume, spraying Lysol and bug killer, burning scented candles and loading the house with lavender scented sachets in an effort to make her chemically sensitive husband seriously ill." So what's her story? "The guy's a faker... He just wants to gain an advantage in the divorce case."

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America's old west kills another Brit
Sun | Submitted by: Tim Howard
After barricading himself in his house, a 62-year-old cabdriver left police no option but to shoot him. In Britain's first-ever case of "suicide by cop," Michael Malsbury decided to live out a fantasy evidently built around Westerns. "He had a 'cowboy attitude' and referred to 'high noon' during police negotiations. Finally Malsbury stepped out of his room shouting 'Better get your guns out lads, Iím coming out' -- and was shot in the chest. He had pointed the gun at officers and fired a shot in their direction." Yet more proof that guns don't kill people; "Gunsmoke" does.

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Man goes back to prison for another angeldust death
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A man convicted a decade apart of killing people while driving under the influence of PCP was sentenced Friday to 35 years to life in prison... Ledell Daniel was on PCP on Jan. 29, 2002, when his vehicle hit a car driven by Jerry Camp, 67, and his wife, killing Camp and injuring Camp's wife. Daniel was previously convicted in the October 1991 death of Pauline Guerra, 20, of Long Beach. Daniel was later found to have been under the influence of PCP." That's what they call recidivism.

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Magicians win lawsuit over revealed secrets
Independent Online | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"TV Globo must pay damages to 21 magicians in the southern state of Rio Grande do Sul because of a programme that revealed how magicians perform such tricks as pulling rabbits out of hats and sawing women in half." According to one of the plaintiffs: "[The show] took all the magic out of magic... It was like depriving a child of happiness and the right to fantasise when you tell him Santa Claus does not exist." Hear that, kids? Santa Claus doesn't exist! You heard it from the magician.

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Disney must keep paying millions in Pooh royalties
Orlando Sentinel | Submitted by: Tim Howard
In 1983, A.A. Milne's son Christopher Robin signed away his Winnie the Pooh royalties to the Walt Disney Company and to the estate of his father's book agent. Disney would like to quit having to cough up $10 million a year to the agent's family for their continued use of the character. So they cut a deal with Clare Milne, who agreed to sell them the remaining rights if she could repo them from the current owners. Unfortunately for Disney and Clare, the judge has found that there is no legal basis for her suit. We bet there's one thing all parties can agree to: that Winnie the Pooh's copyright should be effectively immortal, just like Mickey Mouse's.

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