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May 07, 2003

Acapulco's club ped
New York Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A former school pediatrician convicted 20 years ago of attempted sexual abuse of children was charged yesterday with traveling to an Acapulco guest house to engage in sex with homeless or orphaned boys... Castillo Vista del Mar was created in 1998 specifically for those interested in having sex with boys under 18. Prosecutors said that guests at Castillo were provided with meals, rooms and an 'escort' -- often homeless boys ages 6 to 17 who visited local beaches. In exchange for food, shelter and clothing, the boys engaged in sex with the adult Americans." That blurb was probably taken verbatim from the brochure.

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Girls beaten, covered in filth by other girls
Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: Tim Howard
Five high school girls were sent to the hospital following an extremely rowdy off-campus powderpuff football game. For some reason the festivities also involved pig intestines, fish guts, and possibly human feces. One girl received a gash to the head requiring stitches. Another broke her ankle. "WMAQ-Channel 5 aired excerpts of the tape Monday night, showing several girls being kicked, pummeled and smeared with excrement by other girls as a group of boys stood by, urging them on."

Read article... and This article...

Man explodes own head, although not a suicide attempt
BBC | Submitted by: Jesus Fucking Christ
Last year a man in Northamptonshire, England pioneered a new trick for homemade pipe bombs -- holding it in your mouth when it detonates. 20-year-old Joseph Priestly Court shoved a bomb in his mouth and lit the fuse as his roommates watched. He died later that day of head injuries resulting from the blast. But according to the coroner's report, Court was not trying to kill himself -- he was just an impulsive freak with a short temper. Whatever his motives, this guy was definitely a Darwin Award hall of famer.

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Driver of the short bus also short-tempered
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel | Submitted by: M. Richardson
A special ed bus driver in Milwaukee has confessed to slapping and hitting a Down syndrome child. Curious why their child would burst into tears whenever it was time to get on the bus, one day the parents of 9-year-old Jacob stuck a voice-activated tape recorder in his Scooby Doo backpack. When he got home, among the things they heard the bus driver telling Jacob were: "Stop before I beat the living hell out of you." And: "Do I have to tape your mouth shut? Because you know I will." And: "I'm going to slap the hell out of you." The driver, one Brian Harold Duchow, has admitted saying those things as well as striking the child, although in his defense Duchow claims that he "did not wind up" when he slapped the boy.

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Former C.O. incarcerated in his own jail
al.com | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
Former corrections officer David Tyrone Marshall has been locked up in the same jail he used to work in, after pleading guilty to a charge of first-degree sexual abuse. Marshall impregnated a mentally-disabled 11-year-old girl who was also a relative. When the cops originally questioned him last year concerning the girl's pregnancy, "Marshall suggested the child could have become pregnant by taking a bath in a tub that had sperm in it." OK, let's see. This guy is 1) stupid, 2) a former corrections officer, and 3) a pedophile. Sounds like he's going to last a long time in state prison.

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Madonna violating DMCA laws
Security Focus | Submitted by: Vambo
"Using fictitious headers, names, or descriptions in interstate or foreign commerce in order to induce someone to act is an offense -- either a crime or, at a minimum, a "deceptive trade practice"... The actions of RIAA and MPAA in placing files on p2p networks to deceive users of those networks into thinking they're actual music or video files, to waste their time, resources, energy and bandwidth (not to mention hard drive space and CPU cycles) quite likely is 'deceptive' and undoubtedly 'affects commerce.'"

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Scumsucking restauranteur shut down by health officials
News Corporation | Submitted by: zukas
"Crusty chutneys, eight-year-old pickles and mouldy chillies were for restaurateur Larry Mendonca's personal use, he told a court yesterday... Mr Mendonca corrected an allegation that a mouldy jug of salad dressing was found during an inspection on July 10 last year. 'It was scum, not mould,' he said. 'I put my finger in and licked it and I am still alive.'"

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Airline pilot suddenly has a Mossad file
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
Passengers arriving in Tel Aviv on an overnight flight from Rome were rattled when the pilot announced: "Welcome to Palestine." According to the Alitalia's commercial manager: "He won't fly to Israel any more -- that's for sure."

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Microsoft launches iLoo
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The iLoo, developed by Microsoft's MSN division, will be a standard portable toilet (or 'loo,' as the Brits call it) equipped with a wireless keyboard and an extendable, height-adjustable plasma screen located directly in front of the seated user." Let's see... an invitation to spend more time inside a "standard portable toilet." Goody. The only thing I enjoy more than using a portapotty is waiting for one. Like we needed to slow down the line even further by including unlimited hentai and bukkake porn.

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Man regrets murders, necrophilia
Newsday | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A sailor on Monday tearfully admitted to fatally beating his wife with an iron skillet and stabbing his mother-in-law to death at the couple's home last year." The man expressed remorse and said he took responsibility for the killings, as well as for "having sex with his wife's dead body." Well, it's kinda hard to blame somebody else for that.

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MSN mail filters run amok
Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: Tim Howard
Man attempts to sign up for an MSN email account under his company's name, Assembly Source. MSN rejects the name because it starts with the letters A-S-S. Man calls the customer service line. Customer service refuses to budge and hangs up on him 4 times. "Their attitude was that I was like a pornographer or something, and I was trying to pull one over on them." But here's the best part: "If 'assemblysource' is automatically filtered, that would mean mail from other Web sites and addresses beginning with the word 'ass,' like 'assembly.coe.int' (the European Union's Parliament) or 'assess.nelson.com' (a major educational testing company) would not make it past the Butterfly either." Kudos to Microsoft engineering. Who really cares about false positives? Crank that sensitivity knob to 11.

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Sweden prevents couple from naming child "Superman"
News Corporation | Submitted by: Lex "Asshead" Luthor
"The tax authority, which oversees rules for names in the Scandinavian country of 8.9 million, blocked a request by Sara Lindenger and her live-in boyfriend, Johan Leisten, both 28, to name their child Staalman, Superman in Swedish... The authority said it wasn't suitable because it might 'lead to discomfort for the person who uses it.'" If that's the case, then why don't Swedes get uncomfortable when they meet, say, Richard Stallman? Okay, bad example.

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