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May 04, 2003

North Korea pretending to aim hundreds of nukes at U.S.
Sky News | Submitted by: DailyRottenFan
The executive director of the Centre for Korea-American Peace claims that North Korea possesses a "minimum [of] 100 nuclear warheads, maximum 300." And furthermore, the unofficial NK spokesman claims: "They all lock onto American cities." Even though he's been saying this for two months, nobody's actually buying it. 1-3 warheads? Maybe. 100-300? Bullshit. Tell you what: incinerate a couple dozen cities, and we'll revise our estimates.

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Australian offered $1.5 million for his wife
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A British businessman has offered a husband $1.5 million if he lets his wife spend the rest of her life with him." Why bother bargaining with the husband? Cut out the middleman and just cut a deal with the wife.

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Teen's drug lab/bomb workshop/fake ID factory raided
Boston Herald | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Police searched the home of a 17-year-old looking for evidence of a fake ID business. That they found, along with a marijuana stash and some stolen property. Plus a laboratory where the teenager made pipe bombs and cooked up ecstacy and methamphetamines. At least he's got hobbies.

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Baseball heroes promoting incest babies
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
A group of former major-league baseball figures are working to outlaw euthanasia, stem cell research, and abortion under any circumstances. They have donated autographs and memorabilia to raise money for a group whose mission is to ban abortion across the board, even in the case of rape and incest. Their motto? "Pro-life -- without exception, without compromise, without apology."

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Serial foot licker on trial again
Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A man convicted of licking the feet of three female shoppers in Rhode Island is facing a trial in June on charges he allegedly licked a woman's foot in a Massachusetts supermarket. Raymond C. Dublin, 35, of Rhode Island, is finishing a one-year sentence for simple assault charges in connection with the foot-licking complaints in Rhode Island. Dublin allegedly sneaked up behind a woman last year at a Bellingham supermarket and licked her feet and toes."

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Family values crusader gambled away $8 million
Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"William Bennett, the former Cabinet secretary and family values campaigner, is a high-rolling gambler who has lost millions over the last decade, according to published reports. Casino documents show Bennett is a 'preferred customer' in at least four venues in Atlantic City and Las Vegas." Bennett, who may have lost more than $8 million over the last ten years, collected snippets from hundreds of famous works and published The Book of Virtues. Please don't call him an author.

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Australian casino robber gone loco
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
Thomas Mangos used a plastic toy gun to rob the Crown Casino last year, and walked away with $136,600 Australian. Then he went off on a three-week gambling spree. Mangos had once been a millionaire, but he lost it all in the casinos. You've got to know when to fold 'em.

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Endangered species: not just for breakfast
entertainment.tv.yahoo.com | Submitted by: Tim Howard
The upcoming cookbook 101 Exotic and Exquisite Meals includes recipes for Green Sea Turtle Soup, Raspberry-glazed Spotted Owl, Grizzly Bear Sausage, Bighorn Sheep Lamb Chops in Garlic Marinade and Snail Darter Kebabs. One wildlife activist opined: "This cookbook is appalling. It implicitly calls for the slaughter of creatures that are at the verge of extinction." Well duh.

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Another documentary about the differently-abled
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Tim Howard
A new film details the everyday lives of a Sacramento family. "Faith, whose startlingly blue eyes dance on a face scarred by burns, giggles at him between nibbles on a hot dog. Katie, mentally disabled by fetal alcohol syndrome, smothers him in a hug. Chloe, her joints frozen by a birth defect, jumps into his lap. Libby, who has spina bifida, turns up the volume on the television while Margaret, the big sister born with a seizure disorder, dishes with her boyfriend. Soon, Anthony, who suffers from a rare genetic disease that causes his skin to blister and peel at the slightest touch, will come downstairs, and Xenia and Hannah, both born without legs, will arrive home from school."

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Let's just give it a rest already
Associated Press | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
There was exactly one protestor outside the recent Dixie Chicks concert in Orlando, Florida. Evidently somebody thought it was important enough to spend his evening standing outside with a sign saying "I Am Ashamed The Dixie Chicks Are From Texas." No doubt this guy is always the last to sit down when the wave rolls through his section of the grandstand.

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Little girl needs operation very, very badly
All Africa | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Habbi Jarju, 5, had undergone surgery operations at the Royal Victoria Hopital since she was born, but doctors there could not find a way around her deficiency, which meant that she had to be aided every time her body needed to expend excreta. This physiological inconvenience had prompted the RVH to poke two holes into her stomach to allow natural excretion to take place as a temporary solution until she is able to secure funds for medical surgery abroad."

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Death by corkscrew
iAfrica | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A woman allegedly killed her cousin with a bottle opener during an argument at their house in Ashton, near Worcester in the Western Cape on Friday, police said. Captain William Reid said the woman (31) was arrested after she had allegedly stabbed her male cousin (42) in the chest with a corkscew bottle opener and he died at the scene."

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Employees paid to visit porn sites
SiliconValley.com | Submitted by: Any Mouse
"Viewing porn all day is not as titillating as some would think. Some porn-trackers have quit after a few days. All are told that counseling is available. Pay starts at $10/hour. Most like the job because of the people they work with, not the porn." I would much rather like to hear from the ones who hate the people they work with but love the porn.

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