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April 29, 2003

A Playboy Mansion for pedophiles
Cleveland Plain Dealer | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"During sex parties at the Noda home, adults and minors would be given alcohol, different types of pills and drugs as well as shots of a synthetic narcotic used as a painkiller... Toth would inject partiers, including minors, with the drug without their consent. The source told authorities that he saw computer images of Noda trying to have sex with a 7-year-old girl and that cameras were hidden throughout the home, including in the bathroom."

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Suicide by power-assisted trepanation
thisiscornwall.co.uk | Submitted by: Monte Hooper
A man has killed himself by boring into his right temple with a Bosch electric drill. When are people going to stop imitating the movie "Pi"? You can't actually fix your brain like that. And it was done with special effects, people.

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Recording industry rewriting Iraqi copyright laws
The Register | Submitted by: Soylent
Currently, Iraq does not recognize U.S. copyrights. So it's perfectly legal to bootleg American albums, films, books, what have you. And works protected by Iraq's existing laws are turned over to the public domain 25 years after the death of the author, or 50 years from its creation (whichever is less). Now the RIAA is stepping in to help formulate new copyright legislation for the postwar regime. Whew. Now that 70% of the country has drinking water restored, the next logical priority is definitely to suck the music industry's dick.

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Cat lady gone mad scientist
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Gary MiddleMan
60 dead cats wrapped in plastic and stashed in freezers. Hundreds of syringes and medicine bottles in what appeared to be a secret laboratory. Her website claims that she studies the "genetic relationships" of her cats, whatever that means. According to one Boston official: "There was something more sinister here and what that is we need to find out."

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America's shortest, bloodiest marriage
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
Evidently the married couple started bickering during the reception, which was held in a bar. Later that night, the groom gunned down his bride, and then blew his own brains out. The newlyweds had dated for "about five weeks" before tying the knot.

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I hated those family vacations, too
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Linda Goodwin
Girl wants to end tedious, shitty family vacation cruise and go back to luvah-boy on shore. What better way than sending anonymous terror threats to the crew? "The defendant said she never wanted to go on this cruise ship with her family to begin with, and that she wrote these notes hoping that it would shorten her time on the cruise." Now she faces a possible 10-year prison sentence.

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Municipal ad campaign features child molestor
Boston Herald | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
New Bedford launched an ad campaign to revitalize its image, but their first poster boy turned out to be a convicted child molester. When informed of the man's felony record, the advertising manager said: "I don't care about his convictions or regrets or anything like that. I care about his heart." Yeah, those ad guys are tired of the public's preoccupation with superficial qualities, like being a pederast for instance.

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Supreme Court allows state abortion file access
Boston Globe | Submitted by: dianalily
The Court refused to hear arguments against South Carolina's regulation requiring all abortion clinics to disclose patients' medical records. "South Carolina wants abortion clinics to open all files, including patient medical records, if state investigators ask to see them. The clinic says there is no guarantee that the information will remain confidential once it is in the state's hands and no penalty to the state or its employees if the information is leaked." Another reminder that there is no explicit "right to privacy" in the Bill of Rights.

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Donut shop employee killed for oversweetened coffee
Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Natal and Dave had had a run-in two weeks ago when Natal believed he had been charged twice for a cup of coffee... The two settled the dispute, but Natal remained convinced Dave was out to get him and was loading up his coffee with sugar." So he shot him.

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Sludge-filled mountain sickens Russian town
Pravda | Submitted by: meatload
A cavernous mountain through which Russia's Turayevka river runs has become reservoir for a putrid mix of petrochemical waste, delivered each Spring by river to villagers downstream. Several attempts have been made to locate the repository of sludge, which during queit evenings causes a fog of waste to descend on villagers. 'Adults suffer from headaches and high blood pressure, children have nosebleeds, domestic animals simply die.'

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Wimpering cop turned rapist wants his pension back
Sun | Submitted by: Tim Howard
British peace officer convicted of a series of rapes is trying to claim his police pension. "Ex-custody sergeant Paul Banfield, 35, committed two rapes and four indecent assaults -- some while on duty. After he was jailed three years ago a police tribunal decided he should lose the publicly-funded part of his pension -- said to be worth up to 200,000."

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Indonesian military forced women to become sex slaves
Boston Globe | Submitted by: dianalily
"The Indonesian military systematically forced dozens of East Timorese women to become sex slaves for officers during its 24-year occupation of the half-island, a former governor said Tuesday. During a two-day hearing on violence against women in the former Indonesian territory, witnesses said rape, torture and murder were part of an organized campaign by the military to intimidate the East Timorese people."

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Horse sodomized with broomhandle
horseandhound.co.uk | Submitted by: joFFeman
Horse rectally assaulted with broomstick; hypothetical cultists performing imaginary pagan rituals immediately implicated by horse's owner. Never heard of Occam's Razor, I bet.

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Suit: Women demeaned at Wal-Mart
CNN | Submitted by: Zipperneck
"Women employees of Wal-Mart were taken to strip clubs on business trips, demeaned as "little Janie Qs" by senior managers, paid less than men for the same jobs, and denied promotions, plaintiffs in a lawsuit against the world's largest retailer claimed. 'That is so contrary to Wal-Mart culture,' company spokesman Jay Allen said Monday of the strip club allegations." You would think that the corporation could afford an HR department, maybe give their managers some training?

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Another dead helium huffer
AZ Central | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A teenager died after inhaling helium from a canister he was using to inflate balloons for a toddler's birthday party... The 12th-grader in this Vancouver suburb immediately collapsed and stopped breathing Sunday and was pronounced dead at a hospital." Just say no.

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