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April 28, 2003

Beggar attacked, penis sliced off
iAfrica | Submitted by: Fellay
A man in Johannesburg was driven to a remote spot by four men, who beat him up and cut off his penis. The victim managed to reach a hospital, but the penis could not be found. All because he got in the car. Never get in the car, kids.

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A tale of two papers
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Both the London Telegraph and the Toronto Star take credit for uncovering the "smoking gun" evidence linking al Qaeda and Baghdad. This, uh, "coincidence" has been noted by many bloggers and alternative media sources on the Net. Highly suspicious.

Read article... and This article...

London paper's front page image totally Photoshopped
The Memory Hole | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Brief article describing a pathetic photo manipulation job by a 4th rate hack at the London Evening Standard. The cover of the newspaper shows the typical earmarks of a lousy pic-rape: repeated elements, sloppy mushed background, and splicing different photos of the same event together. This is supposed to show thousands of people rejoicing at the fall of Saddam Hussein. Might have actually been two guys and a change of wardrobe.

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Columbine shooter gave warning signs
The Memory Hole | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
A year before his killing spree at Columbine High, Eric Harris told mental health professionals that he was experiencing anger, depression, mood swings, disorganized thinking, suicidal and homicidal thoughts. And just three months before the school shooting, Harris turned in a short story full of graphic violence: "Bullet shells sprinkled the floor, on top of the carpet of blood. ... Arms, legs, and heads were tossed about as if a small child turned on a blender with no lid in the middle of the room. Some were burnt off, some torn, some eaten." His teacher's comments? "Yours is a unique approach and your writing works in a gruesome way." It would have been more ironic if it said "Write what you know."

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Surprise: Lawn full of human bones
nettavisen.no | Submitted by: ole valaker
Last week, Sverre Knapstad bought 13 tons of filtered soil to landscape his garden. So far, he has found four human bones including a jawbone in the dirt mixture.

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Saddam trained for suicide
CNN | Submitted by: Captain Prozac
"Ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein has trained with explosive vests like those used by suicide bombers and could blow himself up rather than face capture by U.S. troops, an Iraqi opposition leader said Sunday." How hard can it possibly be?

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B.C. pot growers first to be certified organic
canada.com | Submitted by: Frigga
"'It's raising the credibility of medicinal marijuana as a legitimate medicine, as a safe medicine, as an alternative medicine to all the pharmaceuticals and other things that people tried that don't work,' Nash says."

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Arsonists permitted to join volunteer fire departments
Chicago Tribune | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
According to Illinois state law, convicted arsonists (and other felons) are ineligible to find work as professional firefighters. But they can be volunteers: "In May 2001, for instance, five white volunteers on the Brooklyn, Ill., Fire Department were arrested by local police and federal agents. The volunteers, all of whom lived in Missouri, were charged with setting arson fires in the predominantly black village. Under state law, the volunteers, if convicted, could continue to serve if the district's trustees allowed it."

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Charlie didn't ask for ID when I fought at La Choy and Chun King
CNN | Submitted by: Boat6float
"An ex-Marine who pretended to be a Vietnam War hero was sentenced to eight months in prison for altering military identification documents ... [H]e repeatedly wore the uniform in 2000 and 2001 at various speaking engagements where he would recount combat experiences in Vietnam." He also has a prior conviction for posing as a CIA officer.

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Man shoots girlfriend and her dad, sells gun for drugs
Chicago Tribune | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
After a long day of work, you deserve a cold beer. After shooting your girlfriend and her father, you need a lot more than beer, my friend. But what to do when you're broke? Considering the fact that you need to get rid of the evidence (e.g. the gun), why not sell it for drug money? Two birds with one stone.

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Bones disinterred in New Orleans graveyard
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
Somebody broke into 10 or more crypts in Greenwood Cemetery and performed some minor redecorating. Evidently they moved the skull from each tomb and placed it atop the structure. Meddling kids, perhaps.

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Enquirer admits it made up shit
Deseret News | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
"The family of Elizabeth Smart and the National Enquirer have reached a settlement that retracts salacious comments published by the tabloid last summer. Part of the settlement includes a rare apology to the family and admission it printed false information about Smart family members." Evidently the Smarts were upset over an article in the July 2 issue entitled "Utah Cops: Secret Diary Exposes Family Sex Ring." In the piece, an unnamed law enforcement official was supposed to have said, "There is a bizarre gay twist to this story." How very intriguing.

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Molotov cocktails found on school playground
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
Three molotov cocktails were found Monday on a Casselberry Elementary playground, according to Local 6 News. The bottles containing an unknown flammable liquid were reportedly found by several students at the school located at 4195 South Highway 17-92. Casselberry police recovered the bottles and are conducting an investigation into where they came from.

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TV celebrity accused of assault. Kicked and spat at laughing woman.
nettavisen.no | Submitted by: ole valaker
A 23 year old woman claims the man kicked her and spat at her. The woman explained that she saw the reality star on the street, pointed him out to a friend and giggled at him.

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