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April 27, 2003

Death in the time of SARS: man killed just for sneezing
abs-cbnnews.com | Submitted by: optional
A Philippine man was stabbed to death after sneezing too close to another fisherman. Pretty much your typical paranoia. But the article also mentions in passing a proposed law which would categorize "intentional sneezing" as a terrorist act. Wow. Sucks to live in the Philippines.

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Iraqi thieves stripped at gunpoint, marched through Baghdad
The Memory Hole | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
American soldiers took into custody four Iraqis attempting to steal rifles. Then they were forced to strip and march naked through Baghdad, with the phrase "sinful thieves" written across their chests in Arabic. According to journalists, 1st Lt. Eric Canaday confirmed the story: "We took their clothes and burnt them, and then we pushed them out with 'thief' written on them." With photos.

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Unabomber wannabe terrorizing Italy
BBC | Submitted by: Tobermory
"Kaczynski's elusive Italian counterpart has been planting explosive devices in everyday products such as eggs, tomato paste and mayonnaise... Correspondents say that such is the level of public paranoia in the area that, at least initially, every blast in the region is attributed to the work of the 'Unabomber'."

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Police chief shoots wife, kills self in front of kids
Fox News | Submitted by: Kelly
At approximately 3:10 PM in a busy parking lot, Tacoma's police chief David Brame shot his wife several times with a .45 and then turned the gun on himself. All in front of their small children.

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Syria still harboring Nazi war criminal
Jerusalem Post | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
The Simon Wiesenthal Center wants Syria to finally hand over their adoptive Nazi war criminal. Alois Brunner, one of Adolf Eichmann's underlings in the SS, personally organized the deportation of more than a quarter million people to the death camps. He is currently believed to be living in Damascus under the auspices of the Syrian government.

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Man commits $20 bank robbery just to get caught
signonsandiego.com | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Gardie Shine walked into a California Bank & Trust and ordered the teller to hand over twenty bucks. He told her, "This is a robbery." Then he instructed her to trip the alarm. Then he walked outside and sat down on a bench to wait for the police. All because he wanted to go to prison. Ironically, now that a jury has convicted him, Shine no longer wants to be incarcerated. A little late for that.

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Bomb threats close Afghanistan's first bar
BBC | Submitted by: Vomit
The Irish Club in Kabul has been temporarily shut in response to anonymous threats. As the first tavern in post-war Afghanistan, the club is a favorite hangout of UN staffers: "On a Thursday night you can have up to 200 people there and if someone were to bomb it, they could wipe out the entire international community in one night." Of course the bar received threats. Even if it weren't situated in a Muslim country, it's still an Irish pub. Those things are IRA magnets.

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Breaking and entering and wanking
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: Mike Swift
Late at night, teenager breaks into classroom. Surfs the web. Pulls down shorts and begins to jack off. Then the cops show up. "[D]eputies who responded to reports of a burglary at the school about 1:30 a.m. peered through a window and saw Matthew Cory Anderson ... viewing pornography on a computer." Hasn't this guy heard of AOL?

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Memoirs of a sex slave
Straits Times | Submitted by: meatload
Telephone sex, 'costume play', 15-minute quickies... Former bar hostess Kanako Yamada provided all these and more in a nearly 10-year affair which she claimed she had with the No. 2 man in Japan's ruling party. His craving for 'abnormal play' included forcing her to drink his urine or enduring intercourse with sex aids... But she put her foot down firmly when he spied a photograph of her mother and suggested that the lady join them...

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IRS ignores nonprofits
BayArea.com | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Want to commit tax fraud? File as a nonprofit. According to former employees: "The IRS doesn't even read -- let alone audit -- more than a tiny fraction of non-profit organization tax returns." Good to know.

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Berkeley mayor homeless for a day
Los Angeles Times | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Making good on a campaign promise, Berkeley mayor Tom Bates spent a night sleeping in the park. The city contains approximately 1,200 homeless people. His major takeaway from the experience? The city must do something about the Worst Toilet in Berkeley: "I was in the service, and I've seen a lot of nasty toilets, but that thing has gotta go."

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Typical crap for National Day of Prayer
Chicago Tribune | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
The pastor who handles the National Day of Prayer observances for Muncie, Indiana has figured out what to do with non-Christian religious leaders who want in on the action. They've been invited to stand quietly and be respectful while Rev. William Keller prays to the One True God: "If they want to pray to Allah or whoever then they should have their own service. If they want to come to our service and pray to themselves and listen to us, then maybe they'll hear the truth and then they won't go to hell."

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