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April 02, 2003

Ice Cream Man's turf war leaves rival's son dead
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Dennis Giunta, 26, was stabbed at least 25 times with a home-made sword and died during an attack in his bedroom in his suburban Williamstown home in February last year... Mangione had a longstanding dispute with the dead man's father Peter Giunta over where they operated their ice-cream vans, it has been alleged."

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Massachusetts new revenue source: extortion!
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Cafael Rohen
"If they refuse to provide at least $75 million to us... then we will engage in video lottery terminals of our own," [Governor Mitt Romney] said when he unveiled the budget a month ago. In recent weeks, Democratic state Senator Michael Morrissey's proposal to transform the Hynes Center into a casino has added new weight to the threat... According to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe, any casinos that transfer money to the state might be in violation of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act of 1890."

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Dog translator coming this summer
CNN | Submitted by: Murder
"A Japanese toy maker claims to have developed a gadget that translates dog barks into human language and plans to begin selling the product, under the name Bowlingual, in U.S. pet stores, gift shops and retail outlets this summer. Tokyo-based Takara Co. Ltd. says about 300,000 of the dog translator devices have been sold since its launch in Japan late last year." Bullshit is bullshit in any language, even K9.

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PETA's anti-milk Spanish translation all spurty
South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: Amytown USA
"The heifer also totes a translated sign that is supposed to mean "Dump dairy", but some say "Eche la leche" is slang for something else. The verb "echar" can also mean "to discharge" leading to some unfortunate consequences when combined with the word for milk. "In Spanish, milk can also mean sperm, and well, you can imagine," said Hialeah's Palm Springs Middle School Principal Manny Ferrer, who declined to elaborate."

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Baby sold for $160, plus eggs
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Nhan Phan
"A couple in China have been arrested for selling their baby daughter for 800 yuan ($A160) and 5kg of eggs, a news report said today. The couple, who have four other children, sold the boys for prices ranging from 3,000 to 6,500 yuan ($A601.50 - $A1,311.61), the newspaper said."

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Drunk woman kicked out of court
Courier-Mail | Submitted by: Hans Krule
Ah pleas innocent, your honourship: "She pleaded guilty but magistrate Phil Austin refused to deal with her after being told by a community corrections officer that McLeod was drunk. Earlier, police prosecutor Jacki Hart told the court McLeod had been arrested just after midnight on January 18 this year for suspected drink-driving. Senior Constable Hart said McLeod had recorded an "extraordinary" blood alcohol reading of .319 per cent."

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Trial of protesting nuns set to open
Seattle Times | Submitted by: twist of cain
Three nuns have gained access to a Minuteman 111 missile and a fighter jet on two separate occasions. They used their own blood hammers as weapons to send a message to the U.S. military. Now they're facing 20 years for interfering with national defense. What does this say about military security? We won't be safe safe until these nun-rogues are behind bars.

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Man dies after shooting self
Times Herald-Record | Submitted by: anonymous
"An 18 year old city man yesterday shot himself in the head with a handgun he did not know was loaded, according to initial reports to city police. Peter Barnett of 219 W. Main St. died hours after a call for help reached police at noon." It's not so much that he died, but he lived to talk about it for several hours.

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New Jersey town celebrates its beavers
Boston Globe | Submitted by: RoboChrist
Not much of a story, but a great headline. "Beaver dams have caused flooding on town property and blocked fire hydrant pipes for years, but officials say they're done trying to outsmart the critters."

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Norway's Saddam changes name
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Creamy Goodness
"An Iraqi Kurd refugee living in Norway finds his name Saddam Hussein too troublesome, and has applied to have it changed officially, the Oslo newspaper Aftenposten reported. "It's no fun being called Saddam Hussein these days," the 20-year-old Kurd, who lives in the town of Nome in the northern district of Telemark, was quoted as saying."

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Millionaire cheater follow-up
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"It got worse and I was desperate for a glass of water. If you don't relieve it it's a frog in your throat, very ticklish and very difficult to clear... He was not given any water until a break in filming, when Ingram was about to answer the pound stg. 1 million question. Whittock also confirmed speaking to Ingram's wife Diana by phone more than a dozen times in the months leading up to the alleged sting. He said he asked her advice on how to get on to the show."

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Sticks and stones
Wire Services | Submitted by: freakymeatballs
"Following the rich literary tradition of their country, Iraqi officials from President Saddam Hussein to Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf have regularly taken to the airwaves to lambaste their U.S. and British foes with fiery rhetoric and vitriolic broadsides. Since the war on Iraq started 10 days ago, the leaders of the United States and Britain have been branded "an international gang of criminal bastards," "blood-sucking bastards," ignorant imperialists, losers and fools."

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Northern Ireland shrinks more fucked up than patients
BBC | Submitted by: Vomit
"The doctor struck out with a frying pan and a wine bottle. when a patient suffering from manic depression said he should retire and was "past his sell-by date". The man was said to have been digging in his neighbour's garden early in the morning, being abusive and aggressive and "chatting up women inappropriately" wearing just a small towel. It was also said that he had a bayonet in his trousers."

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Mayor Daley destroys Meigs Field
Friends of Meigs Website | Submitted by: Merlin
"The City of Chicago today used surprise and shock tactics to start demolishing Meigs Field, the world-renowned airport serving downtown, ripping up runway without notice in the dark of night under police guard. "We are in shock," said Rachel Goodstein, president of the Friends of Meigs Field. "The City of Chicago had agreed to keep Meigs Field open until 2026," she said, citing a December 2001 agreement between Mayor Daley and Governor Ryan."

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Cher: Michael Jackson is weird
Canadian Press | Submitted by: Rufferto
"Cher is no longer a Michael Jackson fan. "I don't really care what he does to his face. He could just erase it as far as I'm concerned," Cher told TV Guide for its April 5 issue. "But I don't like him anymore. And it's because of his children. I cannot imagine putting my children through what he put his children through," Cher says. Though she once considered Jackson a "great artist," she said she has been turned off by all of the negative publicity about him."

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