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March 26, 2003

Screwdriver killer forces kids to eat his wife's ashes
Sun | Submitted by: toil
"Gloating sicko Wilson, 44, told them: "The big black lumps are the cancer which killed her"... "That was typical of the man. He loved to hurt, humiliate and dominate those closest to him. Nothing made him happier than to inflict pain... The really frightening thing is that he is not mad. A psychiatrist who interviewed him said he was sane. The man is just evil, pure and simple."

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The hypocrisy of Rumsfeld's Geneva complaint
Guardian | Submitted by: Otis Criblecross
"On Sunday, Donald Rumsfeld, the US defence secretary, immediately complained that "it is against the Geneva convention to show photographs of prisoners of war in a manner that is humiliating for them"... This being so, Rumsfeld had better watch his back. For this enthusiastic convert to the cause of legal warfare is, as head of the defence department, responsible for a series of crimes sufficient, were he ever to be tried, to put him away for the rest of his natural life."

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Passengers push plane to lift-off
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: Rangus
"Passengers had to hop out of their seats and push a plane on the tarmac at New Plymouth airport before it could take off. Air Nelson's 33-seater Saab 340A wouldn't start on Saturday morning, so six passengers, the pilot and co-pilot had to push it five metres to hook it up to a power lead from the terminal. "I've heard about pushing cars, but not planes," one passenger said."

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Teen killed by shovel in odd game with car
AZ Central | Submitted by: JOPY - 666
"A 14 year old boy died almost instantly after he was struck in the head during a bizarre game involving a stolen car and a shovel, Winnipeg police say. Duty Insp. Jack Tinsley said a group of teens stole a Chrysler Intrepid and went joy-riding late Saturday night, and then began playing a game in which a shovel was thrown into the car through the open windows each time it came around the block. During the fateful round, the shovel hit Rodger Ledger in the head, Tinsley said. The group panicked and left Ledger for dead."

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Wonder Woman gets a makeover
MSNBC | Submitted by: Razor
"Her bullet-deflecting bracelets are gone, her golden tiara has disappeared and her long, flowing locks have been shorn. After 60 years of fighting evil, Wonder Woman has a new, edgy look, complete with short, spiky hair and a camouflage bustier."

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Is the US turning Saddam into hero?
Guardian | Submitted by: Otis Criblecross
"Though this attack was meant to terrify the Baghdad regime into submission, nobody in Washington seems to have anticipated its effect on the rest of the world. To some in the Arab and Muslim countries, Shock and Awe is terrorism by another name; to others, a crime that compares unfavourably with September 11."

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Wife severs finger to stop TV-war addict
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Smell my finger
"The wife of a Gulf War addict in China cut off her finger to stop him from watching TV news about the conflict all day long, a news report said today. The 45 year old woman from Nanjing in Jiangsu Province took the drastic step after quarrelling with her husband about his TV addiction since the war began last week, the Hong Kong edition of the official China Daily reported."

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Tuba lips, guitar nipples
Washington Post | Submitted by: Monkeynavigated
"Musicians' injuries are as numerous as their instruments: fiddler's neck, tuba lips, violinist's jaw, horn player's palsy -- even guitar nipples and harpist's cramp. The poor bagpiper is threatened by fungus that often grows inside the instrument. And the flutist? "The flute is a biomechanically impossible instrument to play," says Scott Brown, chief of the department of physical medicine and rehabilitation at Sinai Hospital in Baltimore and a musician himself."

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Cheney's daughter a human shield?
Al Bawaba | Submitted by: Mayhem303
"The newspaper (Al Quds Al Arabi)claimed that the visit would be an attempt by Cheney to convince his daughter, who was in the Jordanian capital, to back down her decision to go to Baghdad within a group of volunteers who want to form human shields against the US led attacks on Iraq... Although not mentioned in the the Arabic newspaper, it is likely refers to Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney. Mary,34 , is a lesbian, and she has not kept her homosexuality a secret, either to her friends or to her employer, Coors Brewing Co., where she was the gay and lesbian corporate relations manager."

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Send in the monkeys
UPI | Submitted by: monkeyhajeen
"A Moroccan publication accused the government Monday of providing unusual assistance to U.S. troops fighting in Iraq by offering them 2,000 monkeys trained in detonating land mines."

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Man leads boring life
Montreal Gazette | Submitted by: Rufferto
"Robert Doyon of St. Amable is so keen on being the first in the door at a new IKEA store opening in Boucherville this week that he's been camped outside since March 19 (Store opens March 26th). The first customer in wins a $5,000 shopping spree when the store opens Wednesday." Perhaps even more pathetic than the fucks who get married in Walmart's.

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Iraqis surrender in machine gun mounted pink pickup
CNN | Submitted by: Tim Howard
Fabulous: "COSTELLO: Tell us more about this pink pickup truck, that must have been a bizarre sight for the troops. RODGERS: It was, indeed. It was a pink pickup truck, your normal Japanese issue. But the Iraqi soldiers had mounted a 7.62-millimeter light machine gun atop that. Palestinians have been doing that for years when they were in Beirut. And on the right corner of the windshield, there was a [New York Police Department] bumper sticker pasted up." Real nice, them honoring all the NYPD cops who died on 9-11."

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Panty raid costs Victoria's Secret $5,000
Wire Services | Submitted by: The Lone Gunman
"Call it a $5,000 panty raid. That's the estimated value of 300 sets of skivvies taken from a Victoria's Secret store. "It's very unusual. It's shoplifting to the max," said Marcia Harnden, a police spokeswoman in this suburb east of Seattle. An employee noticed the panties in a variety of colors, styles and sizes were missing shortly before 5 p.m. Sunday, Harnden said. Each cost $15 to $28. Two display tables at the front of the store were cleared of the frilly, silky merchandise, and two other tables, one next to the cash register, were half-emptied, she said."

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Iraq, Iran, whatever
CBS News | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"As many as three U.S. missiles aimed at targets in Iraq may have landed in Iran, two officials at the Pentagon said Saturday. The official Iranian news agency reported that four rockets have landed in Iran over the past two days. At least three people were injured, according to the Islamic Republic News Agency. Iran also complained that coalition aircraft have violated its airspace near the southern Iraqi port of Basra."

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The value of human life
Oregon Live | Submitted by: Gert
"The Bush White House is pushing federal agencies to slash the dollar value they place on human life, a move that has ignited an ethical debate with administration critics and allies alike... To calculate benefits of rule changes, such as cutting power plant emissions, agencies typically assign a uniform value to each life saved. The Environmental Protection Agency uses $6.1 million, a value set under President George H.W. Bush and indexed for inflation."

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General Motors: Bus riders are creeps and weirdos
Indymedia | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
Charming ad for GM vehicles. Disses public transit, promotes pollution, and makes unfounded value judgements about who's on the bus.

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Unarmed aircraft "guarding" New York City
New York Daily News | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
"Black Hawk helicopters and infrared-equipped Cessnas are prowling the skies over New York under tightened security measures implemented around the start of hostilities in Iraq....The unarmed helicopters and surveillance jets are equipped with infrared sensors and operate in conjunction with a specialized base in California that uses ground-based radar and computer databases to analyze threats, officials said." So they won't actually be able to stop anything, but if something DOES happen, we can rest easy knowing there'll be a Black Hawk nearby to take some killer photos of the action.

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Literally caught with their pants down
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Razor
"John Lawrence and Tyron Garner could be called accidental activists. More than four years ago, police burst into Lawrence's apartment, sent there by a bogus report of an armed intruder, to find the two men engaged in consensual sex. The pair were jailed overnight and charged with breaking Texas' Homosexual Conduct Law, which bans oral and anal sex between people of the same gender." Oddly, sex with animals in Texas is legal, but same-gender sex is not.

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