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March 14, 2003

Man (now dead) drove around with dead mom
KXAS-TV 5 Dallas | Submitted by: nordridge
"According to the police report, the house was filled with dog feces and cat litter, and an officer had to wade through knee-high piles of empty cans in one room. Officers then broke into the van, which had dark-tinted windows... They found Mack slumped in the driver's seat, undressed from the waist down. Two emaciated dogs were in the van, and the officers called animal control to take them. "While we were waiting, the dogs would stand on him and honk the horn," Carter said. "They really wanted out of that van."

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Let's release some violent felons!
Cincinnati Enquirer | Submitted by: buffaloBill
Oh yes, let's release some violent offenders to make more room for nonviolent drug offenders! Viva the war on droogs! "A man arrested in western Kentucky was charged with a string of crimes that began the same day he was released early from jail by order of Gov. Paul Patton. Gregory Dale Hiner, 25, was among nearly 900 inmates across the state who were released early because of a budgetary shortfall... Other inmates who were released early have been charged with rape and kidnapping." Way to go, Gov!

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Anger management attendees didn't do homework
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: BaronSamedi
"Two Fremont men who met at an anger-management class got into a brawl while working on a home-improvement project together, leaving a dead chicken and a trashed van in their path, police said Tuesday... The fracas this week had city officials and police clucking as word spread around the normally tranquil East Bay city."

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Do you live in a cruisy precinct?
The Nation (Bangkok) | Submitted by: Thames Swimmer
Normally the story would be about the cop who suggests that a young lady in tight clothing might avoid the traffic ticket if she offers him a good time. In this case however, Thai police are becoming the objects of sexual harassment from both women and gay men--perhaps now they'll wear loose uniforms instead.

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Frat bros gay? No way!
Time | Submitted by: Rockpile
"All the Gammas, you see, are openly gay. The chastity rule is necessary, they say, to prove to their schoolmates that gay men can come together in the spirit of service and camaraderie and not for sex. "People think [a gay fraternity] is an orgy," says Mario Campa, 21, a fine-arts senior and Gamma Lambda Mu's co-founder. "It's not." [cue music: Girls Just Want to Have Fun]

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Exciting discoveries in cheesology
Wire Services | Submitted by: Razor
"A University of Wisconsin-Madison professor says he's found a way to take the bitterness out of cheddar, a discovery that could save cheesemakers some serious bread... The researchers sequenced the 2,400 genes in Lactobacillus in 2001, and Steele's team identified the desired gene within six months. Cheesemakers can now add that gene to starter cultures."

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Koran to be translated Into Irish
Wire Services | Submitted by: Razor
"Islam's holy book, the Koran, is to be translated into Irish in an ambitious project aimed at bringing Ireland's Gaelic-speaking and Muslim communities closer together, organizers said on Tuesday. Lesley Carter of the Dublin-based Islamic Cultural Center, which will oversee the project, said the translation would benefit Irish-speakers from both cultures." WTF?

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Police seize super duper primo weed
KATU-TV 2 Portland | Submitted by: Mirai
"Police in Federal Way found about 120 pounds of marijuana Sunday afternoon in the back of a white GMC cargo truck parked at a Lowe's Warehouse store.. Police estimated the value of the marijuana at more than $1.1 million." How high grade is this primo weed? $1.1 million. 120 pounds. That's $9166.66 per pound. That's $572.92 per ounce.

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Your honor I was totally wasted
Seattle Times | Submitted by: Jo Shelby
"State Supreme Court Justice Bobbe Bridge said yesterday she wishes she could "rewind the clock" to before she drank, drove and hit another vehicle last month... Bridge is fighting the charge that the Feb. 28 accident was a hit-and-run. Her attorney said yesterday he wants the Seattle City Attorney's Office to drop the misdemeanor charges because Bridge didn't know she had hit a parked pickup on her way home from a party that night."

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Prosthetic Brain implants
New Scientist | Submitted by: Editfish
"The prosthesis will first be tested on tissue from rats' brains, and then on live animals. If all goes well, it will then be tested as a way to help people who have suffered brain damage due to stroke, epilepsy or Alzheimer's disease... The researchers developing the brain prosthesis see it as a test case. "If you can't do it with the hippocampus you can't do it with anything."

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Your rights = jack shit?
New York Times | Submitted by: EM
Civil liberties and privacy may be priceless, but they may soon have a price tag: "As long as they're going to deal with monetary evaluations, I told them they should start asking about the cost of destroying democracy," said [Ralph] Nader, who lobbied Mitchell E. Daniels Jr., the budget office director, on the issue. "If the value assigned to civil rights and privacy is zero, the natural thing to do is just wipe them out."

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America tests MOAB, Mother of All Bombs
New Scientist | Submitted by: Squeak, the Human Chew Toy
"In a show of military might seemingly aimed at intimidating Iraq's armed forces, the US has tested the most powerful non-nuclear weapon ever developed. The bomb detonated on Tuesday at a test site at Eglin Air Force Base in northwest Florida, generating a shock wave felt several kilometres away. Officials said the bomb could be used in Iraq."

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Bush 1 Disses Bush 2
Times | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Father knows best. "The former Presidentís comments reflect unease among the Bush family and its entourage at the way that George W. Bush is ignoring international opinion and overriding the institutions that his father sought to uphold."

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When Saddam was a good guy
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"The documents show conclusively the U.S. knew as early as 1983 that Iraq was using chemical weapons against Iranian troops, and that Saddam was buying chemicals from American interests... But it was inconvenient intelligence. Washington had just removed Iraq from a list of states sponsoring terror, and wanted it to win the war with Iran. That was clearly the overriding concern... State Department documents from 1983 talk about "Iraq's almost daily use of chemical weapons." They express concern that the UN will take up the issue, and discuss how to "deter further Iraqi use of chemical weapons as well as?avoid unpleasantly surprising Iraq through public positions we may have to take on this issue."

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Girl has rare fish odour disease
The Australian | Submitted by: Boonie
"Spanish researchers have diagnosed a case of an extremely rare disease that makes people smell like fish." "There are probably no more than 200 documented cases around the world, and now a four-year-old girl in Spain has been diagnosed with it." Ummm, it's not that rare I think.

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Woman sentenced for charity work with tards
News and Observer | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A woman pleaded guilty Monday to being to paid to have sex with four mentally retarded boys from a group home. Latrina Shagail Battle, 24, entered her plea in Durham Superior Court to four counts of taking indecent liberties with a minor, two counts of soliciting second-degree rape.. two counts of attempting to take indecent liberties, one count of solicitation for prostitution, misdemeanor possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, assault on a government officer and probation violation."

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Girl emerged from coma during Bryan Adams concert
Wire Services | Submitted by: JON BLAST
A young woman left in a coma for six years after she collapsed at school has started to respond to the world around her after her mother took her to see her pop star hero Bryan Adams perform live... "Bryan Adams was always her biggest hero and she loved his music before she fell into a coma... When we heard about the concert in Regensburg we knew straight away that we had to take her there." How long has she been in that damn coma, are we sure it's only six years?

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Computer to choose chart hits
News Corporation | Submitted by: zukas
"If a lot of music by manufactured bands sounds tediously similar these days, things may soon get a lot worse... A Spanish company says it has developed software to replace talent spotters that will "listen" to music and predict a song's chances of becoming a hit. The software, Hit Song Science, has been developed by Polyphonic HMI of Barcelona to help record companies determine the chart potential of a song before deciding whether to invest in promoting it, the New Scientist reports."

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Cat killer captured
National Post | Submitted by: Gorg
"A man accused in the videotaped torture and killing of a cat was denied bail at a court hearing in Toronto Wednesday... Matthew Kaczorowski, was arrested by Toronto Police Saturday in Vancouver and charged with mischief. Kaczorowski is accused of appearing in the videotaped torture, skinning and killing of a domestic cat in a Toronto rooming house." A woman's website devoted to finding the guy provided the key lead.

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Yoko's full page ad for peace
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Mayhem303
"Yoko Ono paid $42,000 for a full-page ad in today's Chronicle, because "it is a pretty urgent message," she said by e-mail Tuesday. "It is my contribution to the community"... Ono began a pro-peace ad campaign "after the song 'Imagine' was censored by the Clear Channel people," she writes, referring to the internal do-not-play list purportedly circulated to the media giant's staff after Sept. 11 and eventually leaked to the press." She says that she would have preferred to advertise in a free weekly, such as L.A. Weekly or Village Voice, because the are more "Papers of the People". Umm, why didn't you pick S.F. Weekly or the Guardian, one of San Francisco's two free weeklies, lady?

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