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March 12, 2003

The Drug War's cooked books
Mises Institute | Submitted by: motrinwoman
Very good article on the Bush Administration fudging the numbers to make the drug war seem less expensive: "By far the largest and most startling financial manipulations are within the Department of Justice (DOJ), which reported a reduction of more than $5.5 billion dollars in drug-war related expenses between 2002 and 2003. Remarkably, the majority of costs removed are those associated with the incarceration and care of federal drug prisoners... Ultimately, the goal of all this smoke and mirrors is to create the perception of a kinder, gentler, and less expensive drug war—qualities favored by the American public but seldom (if ever) delivered by federal drug policy."

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Somebody stole the cop's stash
Fayetteville Observer | Submitted by: motrinwoman
"Authorities say someone took 500 pounds of marijuana from the evidence room at the state Highway Patrol office on U.S. 301. [That someone is totally baked, right now]... The building does not have an an electronic security system [info just in case you were planning your next caper], Clendenin said. He said the Highway Patrol is re-evaluating security policies, although he did not provide details."

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Stupidest addiction ever
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
Hey lady, ever hear of birth control? "A woman who has just given birth to her 15th child says she is now planning for number 16. Sue Povey, a self-confessed 'babyholic' who lives with her husband Ian and 13 of their children in a six-bedroom house, first became a mother in 1980. Since then the couple, from Swindon in Wiltshire, have never gone much longer than two years between babies." She's hoping #16 will be twins. One shudders to think what she'll do when menopause hits.

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Canada suddenly can't collect $1.2B back taxes
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: skarobot
The legal principle underlying the ruling boiled down to a common saying: If you snooze, you lose: "The federal government lost $1.26-billion in uncollected taxes in an instant Thursday, when the Supreme Court of Canada ruled in favour of a Vancouver stock promoter who defaulted on his back taxes... The estimated loss could easily mount, based on the court ruling that governments, like citizens or corporations, have a limited period to commence collecting debts."

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Is our President hearing voices?
Rense | Submitted by: Brocktoon
The submitter writes: "Ever notice how Bush often has long pauses between sentences in a speech? And how his eye movement isn't consistent with some one using a teleprompter? (understandable due to his dyslexia). This director has a theory that he's being fed lines through an ear piece. I actually suspected this over a year ago, but here is an expert's opinion."

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Burial mistake or dirty little secret?
CanWest News Service | Submitted by: Gorg
"They had flown in from Israel and the U.S. to say goodbye. As they waited to leave for the cemetery, Clara's son-in-law Isaac Goslin picked up the phone... Goslin listened in disbelief as Schara Tzedeck's new funeral director explained that gravediggers had run into a casket containing the remains of an unidentified man in the space reserved for his mother-in-law."

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Things to do in Denver when you're dead
KUSA-TV 9 Denver | Submitted by: Incubus
If somebody blew up Denver and nobody was around to hear it, would it make a sound? "A man accused of trying to blow up Denver’s City and County Building made his first appearance in federal court Monday... The FBI considers West a real threat. According to his arrest affidavit, West is accused of sending money orders of up to $250 to random inmates in Colorado prisons to solicit them to blow things up for him. The FBI says West asked an undercover agent to not only blow up the men's bathroom in the Denver City and County Building, but also a Denver police car and a police car in another state."

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Fetus found at water treatment plant
KUSA-TV 9 Denver | Submitted by: Incubus
"A worker at the Colorado Springs Water Treatment Plant found a fetus on Sunday, and now officials are tying to figure out how it got there. [This can't be that difficult, people.] The worker found the fetus during a routine screening process to remove objects from the water before it begins the treatment process."

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Georgia flag replaced with Folger's Crystals
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Incubus
"Nobody paid much attention until Sunday, when it was discovered it wasn't the real Georgia state flag. Neither was it the old state flag with the prominent Confederate battle emblem. "If you were not paying attention, you might think it was the newly adopted flag," said Sheriff Clark Millsap, referring to the flag the state Legislature adopted in 2001. "You would not have noticed it. Somebody went to a lot of work." Somehow, sometime, someone replaced the Georgia state flag flying in front of the Bartow County courthouse with a fake one. Now authorities and county officials want to know who did it and why. "We're pretty sure it was a joke. There's no type of radical group out here running around to put up as many flags as possible."

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Coffin painting takes the edge off
Oakland Tribune | Submitted by: death giraffe
An artist paints on coffins. For the dead who have everything, and want to take it with them: "Now this isn't just some conceptual artist's whim. It's at the request of Reginald Mitchell, manager of the Sunset Casket Outlet on Grand Avenue, who wanted to "take the edge off" the typically oppressive, gloomy feel when one walks into a room filled with resting places for the dead."

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Feds to demolish Mustang Ranch brothel
CNN | Submitted by: The Canuck
"Three years after seizing Nevada's most celebrated brothel, the federal government announced plans to demolish the Mustang Ranch... The pink stucco main building and a smaller unit will be destroyed rather than renovated, said Mark Struble, spokesman for the Bureau of Land Management. The buildings are in violation of safety codes, he said." Shouldn't this be on the Roll of Historic Landmarks? How many boys became men here?

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Flying sheep skull redux
Aftenposten | Submitted by: Bezrael
Two follow-ups for the flying sheep skull incident. While both are in Norwegian, two pictures: The first one includes a picture of a flying goat head incident at another Mayhem show, and the second depicts the victim of the flying goat head. Both are entirely amusing.

Read article... and This article...

It's not Kung-Fu Fighting when you fight with guns
Wire Services | Submitted by: HawaiianAtheist
Didn't the Insane Clown Posse try this, only in real life? "The hotly anticipated game "Def Jam Vendetta," pairs Def Jam, a unit of Vivendi Universal's Universal Music Group, the world's largest music company, with Electronic Arts Inc., the largest independent video publisher. The game, due out April 1, features the like of rap stars DMX and Method Man and a storyline that brings together the worlds of wrestling and hip-hop." Hope one of the bonuses of the game is a catfight between Lil' Kim and Foxy Brown.

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A litany of fractured penii
Kingston This Week | Submitted by: Ozzwepay
"Dr. Ashraf, an English urologist, reported on several other cases in the Journal of Urology. One of his patients was an 18-year-old shepherd who was in a tree watching his sheep. But alas, he fell asleep and his mind must have wandered to pretty girls. He developed an erection, fell out of the tree onto a wooden bar, and another snap occurred."

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Gephardt is a fax-spammer, former gov demands $1.60
Orlando Sentinel | Submitted by: Razor
"Claude Kirk wants his money back... Florida's former Republican governor says Democrat Dick Gephardt had no business soliciting him for a donation to Gephardt's presidential campaign. "How the hell did I get on their list?" asked Kirk, 77, who figures he has lost $1.60 in facsimile costs for both the unwanted invitation that showed up on his fax machine and his subsequent complaints about it."

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Soccer tries weird mix of Pavlov and Clockwork Orange
Wire Services | Submitted by: Razor
"The goalkeeper wears a specially-made pair of glasses which black out at various moments, forcing the goalkeeper to focus on early visual cues from the penalty-taker, a report on Australia's Channel Ten said on Tuesday... "If we can just improve their prediction of posture of the kicker and improve that by 10 percent that's an extra save every 10 kicks."

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Angry Catholic teachers jostle Canadian Edu minister
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: The Great Bear
"Ontario's Education Minister was shoved, punched in the arm and hit with water Monday as she fled a group of Catholic teachers, some of whom wore brown paper bags over their heads and loudly chanted "Shame! Shame! Shame!"... The Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association says it will investigate who was involved in the incident and plans to extend a full apology to the minister."

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Man killed 19 month old son to punish wife
Houston Chronicle | Submitted by: AnnePage
In an effort to punish his soon to be divorced wife, a man shot and killed his 19 month old son after a police standoff: "Police went inside and found the baby, who was shot twice in the chest. A gun was found inside the apartment. The father gave a taped confession to police and admitted shooting the toddler, the prosecutor said. "He killed his baby to make his wife hurt every day of her life," Long told the jury."

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Nude pundit Pr0n
The Smoking Gun | Submitted by: anonymous
MY EYES MY EYES: Words cannot even describe the horror: "Reich, the 4' 10" Democratic dynamo who was routed in last year's Massachusetts gubernatorial primary, posed last week for a 2004 calendar that will raise funds for a Cambridge community television group (the organization will begin selling the $15 item this summer)."

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Parents complain about must-see baby-eating TV
ic North Wales | Submitted by: anonymous
"Parents whose baby was still-born have welcomed a crack-down in the UK by TV watchdogs on a Channel 4 programme showing a Chinese artist eating the flesh of a dead baby... In all, 42 people complained to the ITC about the programme which included a photograph of artist Zhu Yu's work Eating People, in which he cannibalised the body of a dead baby."

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Echelon surveillance was used to catch Khalid
Guardian | Submitted by: Joe Brush
"The electronic surveillance network Echelon played a key role in the capture of the alleged September 11 mastermind, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, it was reported yesterday, as did a $27M payment to an "al-Qaida foot soldier", who may be planning to relocate to Britain... The video also fails to capture the shooting incident that took place at the time of the raid. But during the briefing, the officials disclosed that Mohammed did try to resist arrest, and fired at least one round from an AK-47 assault rifle before surrendering to the authorities."

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Hair today, gone tomorrow
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"The operator of a successful chain of beauty parlors was arrested Tuesday because the lasers he uses for removing unwanted body hair are only supposed to be used by doctors, police said. Koichi Tomita, head of the BUC chain of beauty parlors, was arrested together with four employees who are also accused of breaking the Medical Practitioners Law and of professional negligence resulting in injury."

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Swordsman pleads guilty to ninja attack
Times-Community | Submitted by: Monkeynavigated
"According to prosecutors, Hulbert met Schwartz's daughter Clara at a Renaissance Festival in September 2001, shortly after he had been released from a state mental institution on his 18th birthday... While the two waited outside in the car, Hulbert entered the house and stabbed Schwartz more than 30 times with a 27-inch-long ninja sword, according to court records. He inflicted many of the wounds after Schwartz was dead."

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Let's light this place up
New York Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Young men from the two groups ran into one another inside a dance club on the second floor of the Broadway City Arcade in the heart of Times Square. They exchanged the same type of challenging looks they've been throwing one another since they were little boys. "Let's light this place up!" police said one of the young men proclaimed as he pulled out a gun. As the bullets started flying, possibly from two guns, knives were pulled and used. By the time the fracas was over eight people were shot, two who are still in critical condition, and two others were stabbed."

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Proseletyzing pavingstones
Times-Community | Submitted by: Monkeynavigated
Now that the Rutherford Institute is threatening litigation if the bricks aren't replaced, the schools have been placed between a brick and a hard place: "As part of the deal, buyers could engrave a symbol or saying of their choice on the oblong pavers. Some parents chose to offer congratulations to their children, some students thanked teachers and coaches, some recognized friends. And some chose to inscribe crosses... Recently, parents of one student became outraged when they saw the crosses and complained to the administration. They felt it was inappropriate to display a religious symbol on public school property." Meh.

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Moldovans snorkel to new life
BBC | Submitted by: Hans Krule
"A group of Moldovans appears to have found a rather more elaborate means of migration [defection]: by posing as a national team in the little-known sport of women's underwater hockey... Underwater hockey, which aspires to Olympic status, involves two teams of six players in flippers and snorkels passing a puck along the bottom of a swimming pool."

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