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March 11, 2003

Sheep hits the fan
NME | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Norwegian death metal band MAYHEM were involved in one of the most bizarre rock accidents last night (March 9) when a flying sheep's head fractured a fan's skull... Lead singer Maniac was carving up a dead sheep as part of the stage act in Bergen when the animal's head flew off, striking Per Kristian Hagen, 25." Interesting history of the band's varied troubles.

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Big Brother is in your steering wheel
The Boston Channel | Submitted by: anonymous
"When you say "black box", the crash data recorder retrieved after airline disasters immediately comes to mind... So, it may come as a surprise to learn that millions of cars and trucks are also equipped with a similar device imbedded deep in the airbag module... The vehicular homicide charge Zimmerman now faces rests on the evidence police found days after the accident; after police obtained this search warrant to extract the so called black box from her mangled sport utility vehicle."

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Iraqis already trying to surrender
Sunday Mirror | Submitted by: Shep Smith
"The stunned Paras from 16 Air Assault Brigade were forced to tell the Iraqis they were not firing at them, and ordered them back to their home country telling them it was too early to surrender... Last night the Ministry of Defence officially denied the incident had taken place, but the story was corroborated by an intelligence source."

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Angry young bulls
BBC | Submitted by: Corporal Punishment
"Two Sunday football matches had to be abandoned and playing fields evacuated when a bullock ran wild through a Wiltshire village... The young bull became separated from his herd as he was being moved into a field in Lavistock."

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Did Hoover foil Trudeau assassination plot?
Canadian Press | Submitted by: Rufferto
"The terse teletyped missives, stamped secret, are part of a file the Federal Bureau of Investigation kept on (ex Prime Minister) Trudeau that was obtained under the U.S. Freedom of Information law by Canadian Press. In rather breathless encoded messages, Hoover scrambled FBI agents across the United States in an attempt to locate at least two men who might have been part of a plot to kill Trudeau. A subsequent investigation suggested the alleged conspiracy may have been hatched by the American Nazi Party." Article also mentions he thought Trudeau was a communist. Dude, he just had a RED rose in his lapel.

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Mouse testicles improve fertility
iAfrica | Submitted by: Captain Prozac
This is from January; I don't know how we missed it: "Hsueh and his wife first learned that the mouse testicles were helpful to fertility two months ago when they were taken by a friend to a local restaurant to taste a dish made from the organs... They then bought some six kilograms of raw mouse testicles at the restaurant, which had become part of their daily meals for more than a month until the wife was diagnosed as pregnant, it said." I think I'll stay sterile, thank you.

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Con artists make the best suckers
The Register | Submitted by: anonymous
Man falls for Nigerian 419 fraud. Man rips off seven friends for $250K. Man gives $750K to the Nigerian Widows and Orphans fund. Man gets kewl artwork, but no money. Man no longer has friends. Man will probably make special friends in Leavenworth.

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Crazy Horse
WDIV-TV 4 Detroit | Submitted by: stereocrumb
"Two people were injured by an out-of-control horse during the Michigan Horse Council's Horse Expo 2003 at Michigan State University. It appeared that something spooked the horse, causing it to go on a four-minute rampage Sunday inside the university's Pavilion for Agriculture and Livestock Education, witnesses told The State News for a Monday story."

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Is Colorado preparing for regime change?
Inside Denver | Submitted by: ZsaZsa
"The state of Colorado could seize antibiotics, cremate disease-ridden corpses and, under extreme circumstances, dig mass graves under executive orders for use in the event of a bioterrorism attack... Another order would suspend statutes pertaining to death certificates and burial practices. In certain situations, mass cremations or burials might be required. A ninth executive order, pertaining to quarantines, is being prepared."

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The $27 Million Rat
New York Daily News | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
"A captured Egyptian radical ratted out terror kingpin Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, but only after squeezing $27 million in reward money from American investigators, it was reported yesterday." Did the Feds forget that we're trying to PREVENT Al Qaeda from getting that kind of money?

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Portrait of Christ weeps blood
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"Crowds are flocking to a church in India to see a portrait of Christ that has been observed weeping blood, according to a Local 6 News report.The blood was first noticed by a student at her house last week. The piece was then moved to a church in India's coastal state of Goa for public viewing. Several viewers of portrait call it a miracle, according to the report."

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Beef Association wants girls to eat more meat
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: Bammer
Choke on this baby... "The National Cattlemen's Beef Association has put some meat into its new message to girls: Cows are yummy. "I think that the site is fine if you aim to be really fat and really constipated," countered Andrew Butler, a campaign coordinator for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals." Truth is, beef doesn't make you fat or constipated, unless you've been a vegetarian for too long.

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Pakistani Literature
Wire Services | Submitted by: freakymeatballs
Photo of a child looking at a book about Osama bin Laden's 9/11 atrocities. If you look in the background, it looks like the whole shop is dedicated to idolizing Osama.

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Pizza delivery hell
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: anonymous
"A single mother lost her job delivering pizza because she took time off duty to attend to a man who had been shot in the stomach... when she reported back to Frank's Pizza her supervisor, Jason Boyd, fired her. "We feel just as bad as the next guy, but we don't pay employees to be EMTs (emergency medical technicians)," Boyd said."

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Russian school angry over shooting of porno
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: Glusker
"As the producer and distributor of what are labeled "hard erotica" films by the standards of Russian censors, since he founded his production company, SP Company, in 1997, Sergei Pryanishnikov has angered religious organizations and the St. Petersburg police alike. When the company released the film "Schoolgirl 2" last fall, the staff of St. Petersburg Middle School No. 193 joined the list of groups and people less than impressed with his work."

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Jerry Springer: Unfavorable!
CNN | Submitted by: Boat6float
"Talk show host Jerry Springer, who has said he might run for the Senate, scored the highest unfavorable rating in the 14 years that the Ohio Poll has been taking the state's political pulse." Springer is former mayor of Cincinnati (one of the most repressive places in America), and is contemplating running for Senate.

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Let the disinformation begin
Salon | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Reports that a new Office of Strategic Influence might dabble in disinformation caused such an uproar this year that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld ordered it closed, insisting the Pentagon doesn't spread lies... Even so, in Afghanistan last year, the U.S. military dropped leaflets with a doctored photograph showing Osama bin Laden beardless in a Western-style suit. And some of the administration's claims about links between Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida have been stretched."

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