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March 09, 2003

Rotting carcasses in Saudi Arabia
Arab News | Submitted by: Munkustrap
"The enormity of the number of cattle sacrificed every year is mindboggling, and the dynamics of their orderly disposal are a nightmare to any civic body... This Haj season, pilgrims sacrificed more than 670,000 sheep and 6,000 camels and cows, resulting in 10,000 tons in remains. Some 4,000 tons were recycled to make oils and fertilizers, while the remaining 6,000 tons was left to be destroyed."

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Don't mention the Pigs...
BBC | Submitted by: Tobermory
"A West Yorkshire head teacher has banned books containing stories about pigs from the classroom in case they offend Muslim children... Mrs Harris said in a statement: 'Recently I have been aware of an occasion where young Muslim children in class were read stories about pigs. We try to be sensitive to the fact that for Muslims talk of pigs is offensive.'" To which one po-faced BBC hack added: "Muslim leaders say there is no objection to children looking at pictures of pigs."

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NSYNC claims another life
Click on SA | Submitted by: lifeinagony
"A man on trial for murder claims his resemblance to Lance Bass of the group *NSYNC led him to kill another man... Richard Brown (pictured, left), 23, is on trial for fatally shooting Eric Acosta during a party in January 2002 at a home on the city's Northwest Side."

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Afghan prisoners beaten to death
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Two prisoners who died while being held for interrogation at the US military base in Afghanistan had apparently been beaten, according to a military pathologist's report. A criminal investigation is now under way into the deaths which have both been classified as homicides... Former prisoners at the base claim that detainees are chained to the ceiling, shackled so tightly that the blood flow stops, kept naked and hooded and kicked to keep them awake for days on end."

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Al-Jazeera is struggling. WTF?
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"The lengths some authorities go to in order to hit back are astonishing. In Egypt, they once dragged Qassem's brother, a pop star, out of his home in his pyjamas and bundled him on a plane to Jordan... "In Algiers," Qassem says, "they cut off the electricity supply so that people could not watch the programme because we were talking about the military generals and how they are wasting the money of Algerians."

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Man seeks assylum in Canada as "pot refugee"
The Indy Channel | Submitted by: anonymous
A California man on the lamb on narcotics charges has landed himself in Canadian Immigration seeking "Pot Assylum" as a refugee of California. Claiming he needs to smoke dope at least once an hour to control cancer symtoms, Candadian immigration is lending a sympathetic ear.

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Wrong people killed in massacre
iAfrica | Submitted by: Eris Kaos
"Members of the Bhekisizwe taxi association allegedly killed the nine at a hostel in George Goch, near Jeppe in Johannesburg. The court heard that the Bhekisizwe members were looking for members of the rival Ngono (taxi) association. However, those shot had no connection to Ngono." Our bad!

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Teacher's death dive
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | Submitted by: drewicide
"A suspended Catholic high school teacher accused of taking a 15-year-old female student to Canada with him fell to his death from an apartment balcony yesterday when Canadian police hunting the pair found him at his mother's Ontario apartment... Lemmon, who lived in Upper Yoder, a Johnstown suburb, was married and had two teenage children. Neighbor Diane Sabo described the family as "very, very nice people."

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Hell Hath No Fury
Newsday | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Two girls who said they found out they were dating the same man were arrested after they took out their frustration on his car Monday afternoon, smashing the windows, scratching the hood, bending the antenna and clipping the windshield wipers, police said... [One of the two girls claims] that she was assaulted and raped by Winston Hill, 20, of Huntington Station, during the course of their two-year relationship." Having second thoughts is not rape, sorry.

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Veterans statue "too dykey"
Wire Services | Submitted by: wholeflaffer
"Some state lawmakers and veterans say a statue honoring West Virginia's female veterans is not feminine enough. The statue, designed by sculptor Joseph Mullins, depicts a muscular woman wearing a casual uniform of pants and a T-shirt. It will be placed on the Capitol grounds when completed." Shouldn't a statue to female veterans be dykey?

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Malawians flee terror beast
BBC | Submitted by: The Serb
"At least three people have been killed and 16 others severely injured by a mysterious wild beast running wild in a mountainous region of Malawi. The rampaging beast in Dowa district, some 100 km from the capital Lilongwe, has sent at least 4,000 people fleeing four villages to seek refuge at a community hall at the district headquarters."

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Soldier's skull returned to Turkey
The Advertiser (Adelaide) | Submitted by: Boat6float
"The skull of a Turkish soldier who was shot in the head at Gallipoli in World War I has been officially handed back to Turkey at a ceremony in Melbourne. The mummified skull was mysteriously presented to Echuca police in a velvet lined box by an anonymous person last May."

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Woman slips on dogshit, sues Petsmart
Wire Services | Submitted by: Merlin
"Jenkins had testified in the original case that she shopped at the store at least once a week for about six years, and never encountered animal feces or urine on the floor... She told the court that on April 23, 1999, she was shopping at the store, and was not looking where she was going when she stepped in the feces and slipped."

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Baked bean foot fetish bonanza
The Scotsman | Submitted by: anonymous
"Police are hunting a red nose conman with a foot fetish who duped an Edinburgh woman into letting him cover her feet with food... The man claimed he was trying to help Comic Relief and said he was carrying out some stunts in the New Town to raise money for the charity."

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Women touch soldiers, get cowpox
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Rockpile
"Two women developed infections after touching soldiers who had been vaccinated against smallpox and then touching their eyes... Both illnesses were preventable. Health authorities are reminding people who get the shot to keep the spot where they were inoculated covered and to avoid touching the skin and the bandages that cover it."

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RFK killer going nuts, denied parole
CNN | Submitted by: D. Rango
Big surprise: no freedom for Sirhan Sirhan. "His mental skills, his ability to cope in prison seem to be eroding... He seems to be far more angry and agitated than he has been in years past." His sentence was commuted in 1972, and the parole hearings are a formality. Nobody expects him to be released.

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Homeless man sues over his Bumfight
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Razor
"A homeless man is suing the makers of a videotape sold over the Internet, saying he didn't give them permission to film him fighting a homeless woman. In a lawsuit filed Tuesday in Superior Court, Peter LaForte, 31, said that his right to privacy was violated and that he has suffered "constant shame, embarrassment and humiliation" as a result of the nearly hourlong video." If you end up in Bumfights, all of your homeless friends will ridicule you?

Read article... and This article...

Cher's missing hair: FOUND
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Razor
"When police received a teal-and-black braided wig, they had no doubt it was Cher's... A woman walked into a police precinct in Richmond, Virginia, and turned in the wig." Thank god, this was keeping the staff up nights.

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Over a hundred fewer custody-stiffs than in 2001
iAfrica | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Altogether 366 people died as a result of police action or in police custody between April and December last year, according to the Independent Complaints Directorate. Briefing the National Assembly's safety and security committee on Friday, ICD deputy director Moses Dlamini said this represented a 33 percent drop over 2001. Dlamini said 71 of the 144 who died in police custody passed away from natural causes, 30 committed suicide, and 24 from injuries sustained prior to being taken into custody."

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Shed giant sign, county tells Hustler
Cincinnati Enquirer | Submitted by: buffaloBill
"The offensive nature of anything that represents the Flynts is opposite of the values of Cincinnati. We're trying to protect the families of Cincinnati and they are not welcomed here,' said [Oberfuehrer of the Cincinnati decency Gestapo] Burress." Complete with full-color picture of the highly offensive sign!

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State orders increase in prom chaperones
CNN | Submitted by: xdfgf
"A new state law requires a tenfold increase in the number of school chaperones at dances booked at hotels, banquet halls or other places where liquor is sold. It requires one adult at least 25 years old for every five students." We call those events bridge tournaments. Changes like this cause unauthorized proms to take their place, and the school left out of the loop.

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Pentagon uses psychics
Pravda | Submitted by: xdfgf
We want Pravda's drugs: "God knows for how much time they have been in the way of intelligence officers at the Fort Meade base in Maryland." Masters of "occult science" must help the CIA and the Pentagon determine places where captured hostages are kept, where headquarters and armament storehouses of international terrorist organizations are situated; they must also distantly influence upon conduct of leaders of these groups and upon decisions they take; these people also train telepathic sharpshooters and do other work of this kind. This is a national program code named Jedi."

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She-imates fear losing place they call home
Concord Monitor | Submitted by: Razor
"The women wonder if they would be able to use their sewing machines, what would happen to the greenhouse and the garden, and how they would play softball without a field. Many of the 75 volunteers who lead groups on everything from self-esteem to domestic violence to parenting may not be able to follow the women north, and the women worry what they would do without those programs."

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Fucking dogs delay soccer match
New Vision Uganda | Submitted by: Col. Klink
"Spectators who turned up at Lukuli playground in Makindye recently were treated to rib breaking laughter by the funny mating dogs during the halftime break... The dogs, numbering over 10, came running into the middle of the field which tempted players to abandon their match and watch closely the mating dogs for over 15 minutes."

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Duct taped dancers arrested at US Capitol
Wire Services | Submitted by: jo666py
Just another day in the Imperium: "A man and a woman, both wearing duct tape, were arrested in the Capitol on Thursday... A police officer saw two people wearing devices that he thought resembled suicide bombs. The woman had a belt with duct tape around her waist, while the man had jars filled with an undetermined liquid wrapped around him with duct tape."

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Fetus found at space shuttle debis facility
Houston Chronicle | Submitted by: JohnL
"Women helping in the search for debris of space shuttle Columbia were questioned by police today about a dead infant or fetus that was found in a portable toilet in the searchers' camp... Authorities were waiting for autopsy results today, and Corsicana Police Chief G.M. Cox said charges could range from health code violations if it was a stillbirth to murder if the baby was born alive."

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Fake tits lead to suicides
Wire Services | Submitted by: kaleid
"Women who opt for breast implants to enhance their natural assets are more likely to commit suicide, Dutch and Swedish scientists said on Thursday... Breast enlargement is one of the most popular types of cosmetic surgery but researchers at the University Medical Center in Utrecht believe it could be linked to problems such as lack of self esteem or poor body image."

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Support peace, get arrested II
Albany Times-Union | Submitted by: Squeak, the Human Chew Toy
About 100 people marched through Crossgates Mall at noon today to protest the arrest Monday of a man who wore a peace T-shirt while he shopped... "We just want to know what the policy is and why it's being randomly enforced," said Erin O'Brien, an organizer of the rally... In Monday's incident, an attorney for the state was arrested and hauled into court after refusing to take off a T-shirt that said "Give Peace a Chance" while shopping at the mall."

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Elderlies gone wild
Anacortes American | Submitted by: ItchyBrother
"The man became confrontational and argued with the driver. He denied that an accident took place, even though the van was wedged against the truck's tire and the vehicles had matching scratches... After some discussion with the officer, the man said that he didn't believe that he hit the truck, but if he did, there wasn't any damage."

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