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March 05, 2003

Second-hand vomit death
Prince Albert Daily Herald | Submitted by: Gorg
"Methadone ingested by Pine Grove Correctional Centre inmate Sonia Faith Keepness by drinking the vomit of fellow inmates was a likely contributor to her death, a coroner's inquest heard Monday... Nico Brits, the pathologist who conducted Keepness's autopsy, testified before a six-member jury that the combination of methadone and Librium, a tranquillizer with sedative-type effects, likely proved fatal."

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Jacko wears fake nose, looks like a mummy
CNN | Submitted by: D. Rango
OK. OK. Creepy boyman Wacko Jacko is old news. But how can you not help but be repulsed by the latest revelations from Vanity Fair magazine? Among them: Jackson wears a prosthetic nose... he paid $150,000 for a "voodoo curse" to kill director Steven Spielberg... Jackson bleaches his skin white because he does not like being black and refers to black people as "spabooks." The magazine "reported that Jackson wears a page-boy wig and a prosthesis that serves as the tip of his nose....Without the device Jackson resembles a mummy with two nostril holes."

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One for Pornography
Wire Services | Submitted by: Boat6float (& savedbyink)
"The Supreme Court ruled against lingerie seller Victoria's Secret on Tuesday, finding no proof that a small sex toy and adult video shop that wanted to call itself Victor's Secret harmed the big company's trademark. . . The fact that a consumer may make the mental association between a famous trademark and a knockoff is not the same thing as showing that the famous name was damaged, Stevens wrote." Yeah Pornography!

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Full Metal Bonnet
Village Voice | Submitted by: Lt. Col. J. Christ
"While Pentagon war planners may be gunning for an attack on Iraq by mid March, heavily armed soldiers have already quietly seized a strategic position: your Easter basket. National retailers like Kmart and Walgreens have stocked their shelves with baskets in which the traditional chocolate rabbit centerpiece has been displaced by plastic military action figures and their make-believe lethal paraphernalia."

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Calcutta police on rape charges
BBC | Submitted by: Lydia
Woman gets raped, goes to hospital for tests, and is raped by the three police officers who are supposed to be protecting her. "After the [alleged police rape] incident, the woman was found unconscious. Visitors to the hospital took her to the emergency ward where the doctor registered the incident as a rape case."

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Man eats pussy, found insane
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A man who cut off the eyelashes and allegedly ate part of a cat's tail because he thought it stole his keys was found to be insane at the time, according to psychologists. Judge James Foxman on Monday found James Thomas Ritchey not guilty by reason of insanity." No word yet on the condition of the pussy.

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Gang-rape victim hunts down, stabs perp to death
iAfrica | Submitted by: Tim Howard
Due process, South African Style: "A woman who was allegedly gang-raped by three men at the Orange Grove informal settlement at the weekend was arrested on a charge of murder after allegedly stabbing one of the perpetrators to death, police said on Sunday. "After the men left her she went in search of them and when she later spotted one of the suspects she confronted him and stabbed him repeatedly," Marais said. The 20-year-old alleged rapist, whose name will be released once his next-of-kin has been informed, died of multiple stab wounds at the scene."

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Geriatric kills girlfriend for dancing with another man
Tacoma News-Tribune | Submitted by: TheMushroom
Don't mack on Grandpa's squeeze: "He was controlling and jealous. She danced with another man. And then he killed her in a rage, they allege... Prosecutors on Monday charged 79-year-old Lester Jesse Parker with aggravated first-degree murder and first-degree burglary in the fatal stabbing Saturday of 68 year old Carlin Louise Lane, his on-and-off girlfriend of nine months."

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Prison guards head to jail
Boston Herald | Submitted by: Boat6float
"Two former Suffolk jail guards will go to jail themselves after pleading guilty yesterday in federal court to a conspiracy to beat prisoners and cover up the assaults. Former Lt. Eric J. Donnelly and former union president and deputy sheriff Anthony Nuzzo entered the pleas on the first day of trial for seven guards... [Donnelly] admitted to beating a teenage prisoner who suffered from Tourette's syndrome." He has six kids and may spend 3 years in jail. Wonder if there will be any 'accidental' soap droppings in the shower.

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Dental association dances with the devil
Wire Services | Submitted by: And I Call Myself A Scientist
Coca-Cola supports pediatric dental care, but does nothing to discourage morbidly obese cavity ridden diabetic kids from drinking 15 gallons of sugary goodness every day. "The partnership, which the AAPD announced Monday, involves a $1-million research grant to the academy from Coca-Cola, the world's largest soft-drink manufacturer."

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Uncle Sam's Ass
Wire Services | Submitted by: anonymous
Angela Merkel of the dildonic opposition.

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Face Off to become Sue Off
Guardian | Submitted by: optional
"But it transpired today that Lena Marie Murphy, the girl named in the Irish Independent and subsequently in the Evening Standard, is not Mr Butler's patient... A member of the Murphy family said: "The story is complete nonsense. The Irish Independent has printed a false story and we are consulting our lawyers. It's very upsetting."

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Read my chest: DO NOT RESUSCITATE
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Retired nurse Frances Polack has taken an extraordinary measure to ensure doctors do not try to prolong her life against her wishes. Ms Polack, 85, is so concerned about unwanted medical care that she has invested in a UKP 25 tattoo across the front of her chest. It reads "Do Not Resuscitate" in capital letters and is set around a red heart with a line through it."

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