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January 26, 2003

Sex: Texas trailer trash style
Lufkind Daily News | Submitted by: Mojo
A 19 yr old man gets 8yrs in prison for the sexual assualt of a 13 yr old girl. She's now pregnant, 14, in a foster home, and due to give birth any time. The victim's mother (recently released from prison, by the way) had the following thoughts on her daughter's situation... "I had a baby at 14, my mother had a baby at 14, and her mother had a baby at 14." Oh, and the perp confessed to having sex with two other minors and a dog.

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South Dakota gets tough on bestiality
Yankton Press and Dakotan | Submitted by: anonymous
Plan on gettin busy with a sheep in South Dakota? Think again. With a new law proposed by the state legislature you might want to think twice before heading out to the farm of love. Bestiality will be made a felony. "Previously convicted sex offenders who use animals for sexual gratification could be locked up for five years, and all found guilty of bestiality would be required to check with police once a year as registered sex offenders."

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Redneck fun with Pa
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"Police said they arrested an intoxicated Piqua man Wednesday who is accused of spinning doughnuts with his truck, with two small children inside, in a snow-covered parking lot along Covington Avenue. Talon J. Nicholas, 23, was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, driving under suspension, not using a child restraint, reckless operation of a vehicle and child endangering."

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Rethinking copyright
Economist | Submitted by: Soylent
"Over the past 50 years, as a result of heavy lobbying by content industries, copyright has grown to such ludicrous proportions that it now often inhibits rather than promotes the circulation of ideas, leaving thousands of old movies, records and books languishing behind a legal barrier. Starting from scratch today, no rational, disinterested lawmaker would agree to copyrights that extend to 70 years after an author's death, now the norm in the developed world."

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A nice place to work
Newsday | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Commissioners in this northern Colorado county are working to clarify their stance on guns in the workplace with a written policy after two employees were spotted with handguns... Under the proposal, all 1,300 county employees, from janitors to the county manager, would be permitted to carry concealed weapons if they have permits and inform their supervisors in advance." Actually in most states it is generally legal to have concealed handgun without a permit, at your place of employement.

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Six year old locked in dryer
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"Van Nuys said the boy told police the man became angry the child was playing a Game Boy too loudly and bound him to a chair with tape. The boy said his ankles, hands and mouth were taped and a sheet was placed over his head before the man put him in a dark room... The manís sister eventually entered the room and cut him free, the boy told police. When the boy tried to play the video game again, the boy told police the man put him in a dryer and locked the door. The boy told police he eventually popped the dryer door open and crawled out."

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NZ eccentric goes from riches to rags
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: wingnut
"Mark Lyon was born to a life of privilege and luxury. By the age of 25, Lyon had made his first AU$5M fortune from property development. The darker side of Lyon's life became public when, in September last year, three of his properties burned down in late-night blazes within two weeks of each other.In the once-sumptuous main bedroom, a three-metre clock decorated with pictures of naked women stood above a stained double mattress. "He was having a party, the party got out of control. It was an extended party that went on for about a year."

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Brain cancer patient sues Walgreens over narq
ABC News | Submitted by: wingnut
"A woman with a brain tumor filed a lawsuit against Walgreens, saying when she arrived to pick up her painkiller prescription one day, a pharmacist had her arrested. O'Brien, who was first diagnosed with a brain tumor in 1994, "I told him I had brain cancer, and I had a medical information card inside my wallet," she said. "It didn't matter to him. He didn't believe anything I was telling him." The Walgreens was 2 blocks from her home."

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Eight hundred missiles to hit Iraq in first 48H
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: wingnut
"The US intends to shatter Iraq "physically, emotionally and psychologically" by raining down on its people as many as 800 cruise missiles in two days.It is based on a strategy known as "Shock and Awe"... "There will not be a safe place in Baghdad. President George W. Bush has been displaying increasing impatience with the pace of inspections and is eager to start the bombing." Thank God Iraqis aren't real people, or so we are led to believe.

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Guns and Fuckin' Roses
City of Vancouver | Submitted by: Iskra
Vancouver police need your help identifying these people who rioted at a recent Guns and Roses concert. "Persons of Interest are individuals whom the Vancouver Police Department is interested in speaking to about the incident that occurred at General Motors Place on or about November 7, 2002." Worth checking out for the video. ROCK ON!

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Park Service steamed by Metamucil ad
Wire Services | Submitted by: Col.Klink
"The National Park Service is fuming over a commercial in which a park ranger pours a glass of Metamucil into Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park to help the geyser stay regular... In the ad, a woman asks a ranger why Old Faithful is so predictably regular. The ad flashes back to the ranger pouring in Metamucil earlier in the day and the ad concludes, naturally, with an impressive eruption."

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Time for your dead children to start school
BBC | Submitted by: Col. Klink
"A council has sent letters to the families of 17 dead babies and toddlers reminding them their children were due to start school... East Sussex education chiefs apologised on Friday for a clerical error which resulted in the letters being sent to families in Hastings."

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Government security screeners fed test answers
Newsday | Submitted by: f00f
"He read the questions right out of the test, word for word, answer for answer," one screener said, adding that the 25 people in his class wrote down the correct answers on note paper and copied them onto their tests with the instructor out of the room... Passing the tests was required for screeners to become certified in using machines that detect explosives in checked baggage." I feel secure now.

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Gremlins star arrested for stealing CD
Canoe | Submitted by: egoman!!!
"Gremlins star Zach Galligan was arrested after he allegedly stole a disc by the heavy metal group Deep Purple from a Tower Records store." First thing: Ain't you heard of that new fangled Internet thing? Oh, I guess it don't work with the Apple IIe you bought when Gremlins came out. Second thing: Deep Purple?!

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Carjacker returns to scene, dead but good
New York Daily News | Submitted by: nervous farter
"A carjacker who stole a young doctor's car outside Kings County Hospital early yesterday morning ended up back at the medical center just an hour later - as a corpse... After a brief joyride in the stolen vehicle, Samuel Blackstock, 35, slammed the car into an apartment building."

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Greece: Holiday rape capital of Europe
Observer | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Women considering Greece for their summer break will be alarmed to discover that, as far as tourists are concerned, it is becoming the rape capital of Europe... Statistics disclosed by the Foreign Office this week reveal that a third of British women raped overseas are attacked in Greece. More than 60 have been raped there over the last two years - a 75 per cent rise over the previous 24 months."

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Sleigh horse shot pointblank
Edmonton Sun | Submitted by: wingnut
King, an eight year old Percheron horse, was found shot dead through the chest on Wednesday afternoon, the sixth to die from a bullet since the fall... "He was a big gentle giant," said owner Evelyn Presisniuk last night. "He was so trusting he would just have stood there watching whoever shot him. "There was no skill required to make that shot."

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