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January 24, 2003

Gang tortures boys with wasabi, chili peppers
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: googly
"Over the next four hours, the student and nine others tortured the captured youths by forcing them to eat large amounts of wasabi, mustard and chili peppers and stuck adhesive tapes over their mouths. They also squeezed wasabi and mustard into the victims' noses and droppedchili sauce into their eyes." [It gets worse] "When the torturers ran out of hot sauce, they went to a convenience store and shoplifted more tubes of wasabi and mustard, police said." [What an outrage! They didn't even bother to *buy* the implements of torture.]

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Online gambling bill may fuel e-Cash
MSNBC | Submitted by: Soylent
"After seven years of trying, lawmakers are widely expected to crack down on illegal Internet gambling during the current session of Congress. But in doing so, some observers say, they could breathe life into a greater menace than the one they are trying to strangle: an untraceable form of electronic cash that could undermine the ability of governments to tax their citizens and trace the flow of money around the globe."

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Chuck Barris was secret CIA assassin
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Soylent
"Here's the story of the man who created "The Dating Game" and "The Newlywed Game" and was both the creator and host of "The Gong Show," which was an absolute sensation in the late 1970s. Yet what does the movie focus on? Barris' clandestine career as a CIA assassin. That's right: Barris claims that in the years he was running television's most popular game shows, he was sneaking off every so often to Eastern Europe or Latin America to kill communists and revolutionaries."

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The case of Sony v. Sony
Wired | Submitted by: Soylent
"As a member of the Consumer Electronics Association, Sony joined the chorus of support for Napster against the legal onslaught from Sony and the other music giants seeking to shut it down. As a member of the RIAA, Sony railed against companies like Sony that manufacture CD burners. And it isn't just through trade associations that Sony is acting out its schizophrenia. Sony shipped a Celine Dion CD with a copy-protection mechanism that kept it from being played on Sony PCs. Sony even joined the music industry's suit against Launch Media, an Internet radio service that was part-owned by, you guessed it, Sony."

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Neighbors sniff out sixty cats in woman's home
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A 74 year old Reno, Nevada woman was found to have 60 cats living in her home after a neighbor complained to the city about a strong odor coming from the house... The city said Ria Katz must have a permit to keep the cats but officials are not sure what to do about the situation because they have never been confronted with this type of problem. Katz has reportedly taken care of thousands of the furry felines at her home for the last 20 years."

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Machine invented to age your guitar for you
Acoustic Guitar Central | Submitted by: Rev. Soror Lucy Cannon
It's been known for years, not just folklore, that an older guitar will usually have better tone quality than a new one. And not just because of age, but because of amount of playing. Now they've come out with a spifty-keeno machine that will vibrate your guitar in scientifically measurable ways, to accelerate the mellowing process to the equivalent of playing it 24 hours a day. I tell ya, folks just don't want to work at anything any more.

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Hillary tainted by Bin Laden cash?
NewsMax | Submitted by: UncleGum
"New York Sen. Hillary Clinton's household income for 2002 included $750,000 in payments from three Arab nations with ties to the 9/11 hijackers, including a $267,000 speaking fee from a group funded by the family of Osama bin Laden, NewsMax.com has learned."

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Vampire bats in US
CNN | Submitted by: Rockpile
"All the bats survived the August trip, and one arrived pregnant. On November 11, mother Mary quietly and quickly gave birth to the pup. The bats have adjusted from their home in a grapefruit tree, and there are plans for Schutt to return to the Caribbean island to import more bats, which will increase the colony's genetic diversity and its chance of long-term survival."

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Underage nookie town no more
Straits Times | Submitted by: The Professor
"Cambodia's most notorious brothel village, Svay Pak, where women and girls as young as 10 have been coaxed or enslaved into the sex trade over the past 20 years, has been shut down by the government, officials said yesterday... They service a foreign and Cambodian clientele for as little as US$3 per customer, said Ly Lay, police chief of Svay Pak's Russey Keo district."

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AIDS: Not that trendy after all
MSNBC | Submitted by: Friendly HIV Virus
Oops, the Rolling Stone article about bug chasers is full of... bugs. The one source cited for the 25% figure, Dr. Cabaj "says that attribution is made up. "Thatís totally false. I never said that. And when the fact checker called me and asked me if I said that, I said no. I said no. This is unbelievable." Another source, Dr. Forstein, says "That is entirely a fabrication," Forstein said from his office Thursday morning. 'That is ridiculous. I said, "We have seen a few cases, but we have no idea how common this is. It is not very common." Number-6 from morons.org actually broke this story.

Read article... and This... and This...

Man tries to kill dog, kills himself instead
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: jonsl
"Police say a man tried to beat his dog to death with a shotgun, but wound up shooting himself to death instead... man called his wife at work Thursday and told her that their dog had bitten him and he intended to kill it. Police went to the home and found Raymond Poore Jr. covered with dog bites and suffering from a shotgun wound to his abdomen."

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Is Tim Eyman a horse's ass?
Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: The Good Doctor
"Washington voters may get to sound off on whether initiative guru Tim Eyman is a horse's ass... David Goldstein, a Seattle computer programmer and technical writer, is pushing an initiative that says The citizens of the state of Washington do hereby proclaim that Tim Eyman is a horse's ass. "It's stupid and there is no reason in the world why people should be able to put an initiative like this on the ballot," Goldstein said in a telephone interview Thursday night."

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Broadcaster fined for freezing listener's asses
Guardian | Submitted by: Cineguy
Followup on earlier reported story: "The Capital-owned station challenged participants in its "Coolest Seats in Town" contest to sit on blocks of solid carbon dioxide, which has a temperature of -78C, for as long as they could, in order to win tickets for a music festival. Four of the contestants were taken to hospital suffering from severe frostbite from the dry ice."

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North Korea: not just for weapons anymore
US News and World Report | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"When U.S. officials call the North Korean regime 'mafialike,' they aren't exaggerating. Desperate for hard cash, the regime is mass-producing narcotics and counterfeiting U.S. dollars. Of late, Washington has been focusing on more pressing matters like North Korea's rogue missile sales and nuclear bomb program. But the criminal activity is getting hard to ignore. Says one official: Dope production "has gone through the roof."

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Third times the charm...
Times Colonist | Submitted by: Gorg
"Screaming for his life, a 27 year old homeless man was compacted twice in a garbage truck in downtown Victoria Thursday and was about to go a third time when driver Brad Smith heard his cries and shut down the truck in time. "I thought I squished this guy," Smith said."

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Molested by God
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Incubus
"Along the entrance to their property on Ga. 142, they built pyramids, obelisks and Egyptian-styled statuary. They called the property Egypt of the West. However, the state's against York was that all the trappings were merely camouflage for York's practices of taking his followers' wealth and having unfettered, repeated sex with their children. According to an affidavit filed in support of the state's search warrant served on York's farm, his followers believed that he was a supreme, god-like being. Prosecutors said the number of counts could have reached the thousands, but the victims were unable to provide specific dates for all the times York sexually abused them."

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Building character the cracker way
Albuquerque Tribune | Submitted by: Incubus
"Western New Mexico University administrators are investigating an incident in which a player says the men's basketball coach called the team's black players "niggers" during an angry speech. The player said coach Joe Mondragon cleared the bus of everyone but the black players and then asked an assistant coach to shut the door. "He said you guys are acting like a bunch of niggers, and then he said it's Martin Luther King Day and he wouldn't like you guys to be acting like that." Coach says he's trying to build character.

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Quakers hold anti-war protests
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Incubus
"The signs, featuring a picture of a white dove, are the quiet Quaker way to show opposition to the impending threat of war with Iraq, said Lyn Manfredi-Petitt, who placed one of the signs in her lawn in Decatur. The Quakers haven't kept track of how many signs have been placed in yards, nor where they have gone. They're plentiful in Decatur, Avondale Estates, Atlanta-in-DeKalb and central DeKalb County."

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Just let me finish my beer, dammit
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Incubus
"Police on Monday arrested a woman they said used her car to drag an officer, lead them on a chase for 30 minutes and then refuse to get out of her vehicle until she finished her beer. Fairfield police Officer Brad Wolfe declined medical treatment. He was dragged about 30 feet in the parking lot of a Fairfield motel, Lt. Kevin Haddix said." What's the world coming to when you can't even finish a cold one?

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Husband tracker mistaken for car bomb
Sumter Item | Submitted by: *^*WoLf_sPiRiT*^*
"A device that appeared to be a bomb on a vehicle parked outside Simpson's Hardware and Sports on Wesmark Boulevard kept local and state authorities busy for nearly four hours Friday before the object was found to be a tracking system placed on the car by the driver's wife."

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Go Wildcats!
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Kentucky Fried Uterus, Col. Klink
"A woman is accusing her doctor of branding her uterus with his alma mater's initials before removing the organ during a hysterectomy... a videotape of the surgery clearly shows Dr. James Guiler using a cauterizing tool to write "UK" in letters 2 inches high... Guiler received his medical degree from the university and last year was a sponsor of Wildcat Madness, a fund-raiser for the school's basketball museum." Way to go!

Read article... and This article...

Lock picking for dummies
New York Times | Submitted by: Bog
You can make a master key to any building if you have one key. "All that is needed, Mr. Blaze wrote, is access to a key and to the lock that it opens, as well as a small number of uncut key blanks and a tool to cut them to the proper shape. No special skills or tools are required; key-cutting machines costing hundreds of dollars apiece make the task easier, but the same results can be achieved with a simple metal file." Umm, the Rotten Staff knew this in high school...

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Highway to Hell
Santa Fe New Mexican | Submitted by: Col. Klink
Gov. Bill Richardson was applauded near the end of his State of the State address Tuesday when he announced he not only supports renovation on U.S. 666 in northwestern New Mexico, but he's working to change the name... "It has negative connotations. It also discourages tourism and economic development in the area."

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National Geographic Masturbation Issue
Wire Services | Submitted by: HawaiianAtheist
"National Geographic is doing a swimsuit issue. It's a special newsstand-only issue that takes a detailed look at people wearing swimsuits but without quite the titillation some other magazines muster. Instead, National Geographic takes the reader on a historical tour of the swimsuit over the last 100 years."

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Missing: Major 2002 error coins
Coin World | Submitted by: HawaiianAtheist
"I highly suspect that the lack of major 2002 dated errors is not due to that many improvements in the area of quality control, last year the Denver Mint did send much of their security force to Philadelphia to teach them how to keep errors from 'escaping' from the Mint... "I believe certain unknown Mint personnel just got scared and curtailed their smuggling activities... I still very much believe that some Mint employees were sabotaging that effort in recent years, particularly in Philadelphia and possibly West Point where cents are concerned."

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Mr. Cheeseman declared dangerous offender
Ottawa Citizen | Submitted by: Gorg
"A 34 year old man who roamed Ontario highways seeking young girls to satisfy his sexual fetishes was declared a dangerous offender yesterday and sentenced to an indefinite prison term... He told the girls they'd win rock concert tickets if they accepted a dare to urinate in a cup near the phone. Judge Dorval said the behaviour showed there is a strong risk that Mr. Cheeseman would commit similar offences in the future."

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