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January 11, 2003

Pete Townshend a perv?
BBC | Submitted by: concheats
"Rock legend Pete Townshend has admitted paying to view a child pornography site on the internet but said he did so "just to see what was there"... The star's admission came after a UK newspaper report said a British musician was among those identified by a US police investigation for downloading child pornography from the internet."

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Take this and don't ask any questions
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | Submitted by: Incubus
"A judge said yesterday that a Highland Park lawyer was "naive and stupid" but not guilty of trying to smuggle marijuana to a client in the Allegheny County Jail last summer. Richard McCague, 48, who is suspended from his job as an assistant county public defender, had been charged with possession and possession with intent to deliver marijuana... The official story is that McCague believed that Cook, who is awaiting trial on robbery charges, was desperate for the tobacco so he could use it in jail to buy his safety from other inmates. Mmm hmm.

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Been down that road before?
Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: CaveBear
Followup on the cop who cut off a woman's finger: "A Detroit police officer facing a possible charge for slicing off the finger of a motorist, shot and killed a 79 year old disabled woman during a ruckus in her home in 1998, police officials said... Cora Bell Jones' family sued the officers and the city, collecting a $350,000 settlement in 2001."

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A bum's way to fame and fortune
Los Angeles Times | Submitted by: Soylent
"A tattoo artist testified Thursday that a homeless man appeared neither drunk nor dismayed when he had the word "BUMFIGHT" tattooed on his forehead at the behest of a group of underground filmmakers... "He told me he was going to be a movie star. He seemed sober to me, he was coherent... He seemed like he was stoked. He was dancing around."

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U.S. spamming Iraqis
CNN | Submitted by: Soylent
"U.S. military and other U.S. government agencies have begun a surreptitious e-mail campaign inside Iraq, CNN has learned, in an effort to get some Iraqis to defy President Saddam Hussein... Thousands of e-mail messages have been sent out since Thursday, a military source told CNN."

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The Queen's Panic Rooms
Wire Services | Submitted by: Soylent
"The high security rooms are encased in 45 centimetre thick steel walls and are designed to protect senior members of the Royal Family from poison gas, bomb attacks or assassination by terrorists, the newspaper reported... It said the rooms are equipped with secure communications, beds and washing facilities and stocked with enough food and hot water to last at least a week."

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Lawyers and comic books
Red Herring | Submitted by: Soylent
"Temple Law professor Salil Mehra puzzles over an aspect of the dojinshi market that would stump most copyright lawyers. Put most simply, dojinshi is illegal. Under United States law, this massive copycat market would plainly violate the original authors' copyright. Japanese law, Mr. Mehra shows, is not much different. So what is it that accounts for this massive "theft" of the creative work of original manga artists? Why is this "invasion" of the "rights of creators" allowed?"

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Hindu statue crushes worker
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
"A giant statue of a Hindu god has toppled while under construction near the Indian capital New Delhi, killing at least one worker and injuring several others." Krishna takes no prisoners.

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Internet suicide deal exposed
Houston Chronicle | Submitted by: UncleGum
"A west Houston man who met a Wisconsin woman through an Internet suicide chat room offered to kill the woman during a sex act and hide her body in a Texas forest, a prosecutor said today... Manuel had told the woman he would take her to a state park where they would dig her grave together, Goodhart said. Manuel said he would strangle the woman while they had sex then place one of the roses on her chest and bury her in the grave."

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Vampire bats don't suck
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Eighteen months of clinical trials on stroke patients indicate the bat enzyme, Desmodus rotundus salivary plasminogen activator (DSPA), could be used to dissolve blood clots in humans, and for up to three times longer than the commonly-used treatment."

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Holy orgasm!
San Francisco Bay Guardian | Submitted by: SeMeN SPeRmS
"Some designs have been more successful than others. The first incarnation of the Buddha dildo, for example, wasn't a satisfying shape. "There wasn't enough texture," Nigel R. explains. "Texture is very important. Mary needed a cape, heart, praying hands, and ripples in the back of her cape." When the model for the Baby Jesus butt plug came out, the baby was disconcertingly cute. "It looked like Gary Coleman wrapped in blankets," Nigel R. says. Happily, the Jesus Jackhammer was a perfect incarnation."

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TV Penis Puppet guilty of indecent exposure
Fox 17 | Submitted by: Micr0cephalic
"Tim's Area of Control, an independent producer's show, aired on GRTV in April, 2000. It contained a segment with a man's penis, used as a puppet. The Kent County Prosecutor charged the producer, Tim Huffman, with indecent exposure. Tuesday, jury of five women and one man found Huffman guilty of the charge. Though the judge wouldn't allow it as an argument, Huffman maintains he's protected by the right to free speech."

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Al Goldstein tests airport security
Orlando Sentinel | Submitted by: Bob Guccione
"Pornographer Al Goldstein was pulled off an airplane and detained by sheriff's deputies after he made some sexual comments to an airport security worker, authorities said... Kelly Nobles, Transportation Security Administration screener at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, told police that Goldstein looked at her Wednesday and asked, "Are you a real blonde? If you and me were to have sex, I would want you to keep your uniform on," according to a police report. Other screeners also heard the remarks." The worst part is, it made the luggage screener cry. What kind of people are we hiring?

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The Will Adams Embargo
Miami New Times | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"Under federal law it is legal for U.S. citizens to travel to Cuba without a Treasury Department license as long as they don't spend a cent. The challenge, however, is proving that they didn't. How can you produce evidence of something that didn't happen? The conundrum is driving Adams asunder. "In a criminal suit the government has to prove I'm guilty. In a civil suit I have to prove that I'm innocent. Well, how in the hell am I going to do that? There's no fucking way I can prove I'm innocent. Excuse my French."

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About Schmidt is 97.28892% inaccurate
Yahoo! Business | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"While highly humorous, the perception of actuaries -- based on the character portrayed by Jack Nicholson in the film, is incorrect," said Deborah Bowen, spokesperson for the SOA. "To be more to the point (literally), the perception that actuaries are math-obsessed is 94.00632% incorrect, the perception that actuaries are socially disconnected is 98.34343% incorrect, and -- most shockingly of all, the perception that actuaries tend to favor bad comb-overs is 99.67893% erroneous."

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Family Rabbit Hunt workshop
Medford Mail Tribune | Submitted by: anonymous
"The McDonalds were two of 27 people scheduled to take part in the special Family Rabbit Hunt workshop Saturday at a state owned wildlife area. It was billed as a way of giving families a new outdoor opportunity... Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife canceled the hunt Tuesday amid protests from animal-rights activists that teaching women and kids to hunt rabbits for sport fosters disrespect for wildlife and promotes using firearms for violence."

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