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December 15, 2002

Grade 6 class taught to snort cocaine
National Post | Submitted by: oldblue
Why can't kids learn this stuff in the street like we did? "The parents of a Grade 6 student have pulled their daughter out of a "Substance Use and Abuse" class at a Hamilton school after a teacher gave a step-by-step lesson on how to snort cocaine."

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NK to deliver bitter defeat and death to US
CNN | Submitted by: SR
"Amid a row over its nuclear weapons program, North Korea's ruling party newspaper has fired a barb at Washington, saying the country is ready to deliver bitter defeat and death to a threatening United States." How is this bitter defeat to be delivered? "We know at least that North Korea has a reprocessing plant, a process that... reprocesses material into plutonium. They already have the technical capability if they want to have the plutonium."

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Canadian Indian chief praises Hitler in speech
StarPhoenix | Submitted by: Dbag
"A respected Saskatchewan Indian leader said Friday Hitler did the right thing when he "fried" six million Jews during the Second World War... "The Jews damn near owned all of Germany prior to the war," Ahenakew said. "That's how Hitler came in. He was going to make damn sure that the Jews didn't take over Germany or Europe. That's why he fried six million of those guys, you know. Jews would have owned the goddamned world. And look what they're doing. They're killing people in Arab countries."

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Keeping track of John Poindexter
Wired | Submitted by: Dbag
"The head of the government's Total Information Awareness project, which aims to root out potential terrorists by aggregating credit-card, travel, medical, school and other records of everyone in the United States, has himself become a target of personal data profiling. Online pranksters, taking their lead from a San Francisco journalist, are publishing John Poindexter's home phone number, photos of his house and other personal information to protest the TIA program."

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Police dog severs suspect's penis
WJAR-TV 10 Providence | Submitted by: optional
Don't commit the crime if you can't do the time. Or have your penis severed, in this instance: "Police said that a K-9 named "Scooby" caught up with one of the alleged suspects. The dog first bit the suspect on the buttocks and then bit him in the crotch, severing his penis... The suspect was rushed to a local hospital where doctors reattached the suspect's penis."

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Profile of an anti-porn inquisitor
Cincinnati Enquirer | Submitted by: buffaloBill
This twice-divorced, thrice-married nutcase has so many problems with his own sexuality that he wants to impose his fears and hang-ups on all of us. "Mrs. Burress says she understands pornography's destructive power and why her husband must abstain from any exposure to such materials. For that reason, she will watch the adult videos and read the adult magazines, then write summaries for her husband so he can speak to groups, lobby legislators or persuade prosecutors."

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Patient given accidental Dilaudid OD
Rochester Democrat and Chronicle | Submitted by: Captain Prozac
"The last time Aaron Johnston talked with his younger brother, Kirk, they discussed how happy Kirk was because he expected to leave the hospital the next day, June 20. The day after that conversation, though, Kirk was in a coma, the apparent victim of a medical accident that left him in need of intensive medical care for the rest of his life. [Dilaudid in appropriate recreational doses can be a lot of fun. --editor]

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Hollywood sues prudes
Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Hollywood studios have fired back at video rental stores and technology companies that allow consumers to watch films that have been altered to remove nudity, violence and foul language. Eight major studios, which own the copyrights to the films, filed a lawsuit Friday in federal court in Denver, backing legal action by movie directors who claim the editors violate copyright laws."

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Bubba Clinton now dating Demi Moore?
News Corporation | Submitted by: Todd
In the news from down under, reports are that Demi Moore is dating ex-prez Bill Clinton. She is attracted to "Bill's 'mature' sex appeal, witty one liners and charming chat-up lines." Uh huh. Ex-husband Bruce Willis has told Demi that Bill Clinton is nothing but a womanizer and not to trust him, as if Demi is going to pay any attention. Then the story only gets wierder, with suggestions that Bruce Willis setting his sights on Hillary.

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Bush says to CIA: Kick some ass
BBC | Submitted by: Boat6float
"US President George W Bush has authorised the Central Intelligence Agency to kill about a dozen terrorist leaders named on a secret list prepared by the White House, US media has reported... The US described the killing of the al-Qaeda members in Yemen in November as 'a very successful tactical operation.'"

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Plague of Penguins
BBC | Submitted by: boat6float
"Thousands of penguins are being washed up dead and dying in the Falklands... One possible cause is poisoning by a "red tide" caused by an explosion of a type of microscopic sea plant... Red tides are caused by dinoflagellates, a microscopic red phytoplankton which blooms under certain conditions to dangerous levels in the water."

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Trannies win right to change birth certificates
Guardian | Submitted by: SR
"The measure, which is unlikely to become law until 2004, follows a 33 year battle by transsexuals for full legal recognition. A transsexual who was born a man but became a woman, for example, will be entitled to marry a man, be issued with a birth certificate stating her sex as female and receive a state pension at age 60."

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Historian claims proof of Crucified Canadian
Ottawa Citizen | Submitted by: Jason
"This bronze sculpture, called Canada's Golgotha, reportedly depicts the crucifixion. It was withdrawn from exhibition in 1920 after Germany demanded proof the crucifixion had really happened... A British historian says he has come up with new evidence that German soldiers crucified a Canadian soldier during the First World War, impaling the sergeant on a barn door with bayonets."

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Family relations, exec style
New York Times | Submitted by: lodri
"The Family360 process starts with the executive's spouse, children and in some cases his parents and siblings filling out a detailed questionnaire in which they evaluate the subject both quantitatively, scoring him from 1 to 7 on, say, how well he 'helps create enjoyable family traditions' and 'uses a kind voice when speaking' [etc]... The data are then analyzed by LeaderWorks, and the results are sent to the executive in a 'growth summary' report that presents his family's concerns in the form of bar graphs and pie charts." Sweet!

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Football fans in fracas at 30,000 feet
Guardian | Submitted by: SR
"A row over a passenger smoking erupted into an airborne riot. The captain grew so alarmed for the safety of his plane that he issued a Mayday distress call, prompting the RAF to scramble a search and rescue helicopter. The Boeing 737 packed with 148 supporters of the Glasgow side was boarded by riot police at Cardiff airport after the pilot made an emergency diversion."

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Kindergarteners gone wild
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"One hit a pregnant teacher, another exposed himself and another stabbed a classmate with a pencil. They’ve all been suspended from school this year. And they’re all kindergartners. In the first four months under new schools chief Paul Vallas, 33 kindergartners have been suspended from Philadelphia public schools, up from just one during the same period last year."

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