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December 09, 2002

Mother Teresa's visions of being Christ's wife
The Scotsman | Submitted by: futwick
"Mother Teresa had visions in which she saw the Virgin Mary and talked to Jesus, newly-published letters have revealed. In her visions, Jesus called her "my little wife" and "my dear little woman" and told her to found a new order of nuns devoted to helping the poor in India."

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All Dutch wiretaps also tapped by Israel
c't | Submitted by: Soylent
"According to anonymous sources within the Dutch intelligence community, all tapping equipment of the Dutch intelligence services and half the tapping equipment of the national police force, is insecure and is leaking information to Israel... The discussion focusses on the tapping installations for telephony and internet delivered to the government in the last few years by the Israeli company Verint. This company was called Comverse-Infosys until half a year ago, but was quickly renamed when the FBI started several investigations against it and arrested some of its employees in the US on suspicion of espionage."

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Boy bypassed metal detectors, shot self
Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: Absolut Marn
"Detroit police pondered Monday whether a 15 year old will face criminal charges for bringing a 9mm handgun to school. The teen allegedly pulled the gun out in class and accidentally shot himself in the leg." It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to have metal detectors required to enter school grounds when there are unlocked doors (unlocked by law!) around.

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Worst nurse ever
Lincoln Journal Star | Submitted by: malone500
"As the nurse moved on to repeat the procedure on the next patient in the small clinic, Watson craned her neck to watch. Was the nurse using the same syringe and the same saline bag? Could that possibly be right? Watson tried to think about that, but she was so very tired."

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Fundies fall from public grace
Data Lounge | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
You gotta love it when far-right groups commission surveys that end up blowing up in their faces. The American Family Association, an evangelical anti-gay group, has found (to its lasting dismay, no doubt) that most Americans are none too fond of them, their policies or their tactics. Fred Phelps, kindly take note.

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More on the Bigfoot hoax
National Post | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Mark Chorvinsky, editor of Strange magazine, investigated the "pregnant Bigfoot" and in a skeptical 1994 article posed the question, "Is the 'creature' in the photograph a 'real Bigfoot' or a 'guy-in-a-suit?'" It now appears it was most likely a "gal-in-a-suit." Mr. Wallace's family revealed many of the photographs were in fact relatives, usually his wife, Elna, dressed in a hairy ape suit with giant feet stuck to the bottom."

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Man gets message from above
WCMH-TV 4 Columbus | Submitted by: Idle Hands
Once again, do-it-yourself elevator repairs turns to tears: "A local church member is in serious condition after he was trapped Saturday underneath a 1-ton elevator. Innis Palmer was attempting to fix an elevator at the Zion Lutheran Church when he became trapped. 'When we got there, it appeared that he had been working on the elevator when the hydraulic system gave way,' Columbus Battalion Fire Chief Doug Smith said."

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Dead rabbit found in IU frat's microwave
Hoosier Times | Submitted by: anonymous
"The house president told police he didn't believe any of the fraternity brothers were responsible for the prank, but some of the pledges may have done it." Right, that's the ticket. Second link is IU ranked #1 party school, but apparently not if you're a rabbit.

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Suicide site joins couple together in death
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"I'm going to commit suicide with a man I got acquainted with through an Internet bulletin board for those who want to kill themselves," the woman wrote in a suicide note she left in her room. "I've lost my enthusiasm to live. I don't even want to talk to anybody. I would feel lonely if I died alone. I want to die with someone. Anybody is all right."

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Hillary should have been this much fun
Glasgow Sunday Herald | Submitted by: lemmiwinks
"Cherie Blair should resign as Prime Minister's wife, according to an overwhelming majority of tabloid readers responding to a phone poll. In a news season that has become almost permanently silly, the story causing such reader frenzy is one from the 'you couldn't make it up' top drawer... they face ridicule for a chain of friendships that has managed to associate them with a 'soft porn model turned cult member turned lifestyle guru', whose mother contacts the spirit world on Cherie's behalf, and whose boyfriend combines an outrageous approach both to fraud and self-publicity.

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Snap, crackle, pot
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"A Westerville North High School student has been suspended for 10 days and could be expelled after being accused of making marijuana-laced Rice Krispies treats for a fund-raiser. Delinquency charges of drug possession and contaminating a substance for human consumption are to be filed against the student by Monday in Franklin County Juvenile Court... A student complained of a stomachache to an administrator and suggested that the Rice Krispies treats might be behind it." A lightweight and a narc.

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Rioting may no longer be a spectator sport
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
The Ohio State Student Code of Conduct says students causing trouble off-campus can be disciplined. But it does not have any provision for punishing spectators, which the school’s Council on Student Affairs said should be changed. The group drafted a resolution to change the code last week. ‘We feel like there’s a subculture developing here that says this is OK,’ J. Briggs Cormier, president of the Council of Graduate Students, told the board. Cormier said the code should be changed ‘so that the students who are passively involved would be subject to it.’"

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Pedophilic philatelist punished
Wire Services | Submitted by: someantha
"A convicted child molester who injured two staff members at a mental hospital when they tried to take away his stamp collection was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison under California's three-strikes law... John Hardacre, 50, was sentenced Friday for an October 2001 assault in which he bit one staff member on the arm in an altercation that left another with a broken leg when she was hit by a chair."

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Birthday party at the Dump
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: someantha
"About 40 kids and their parents gathered Saturday at the Sunshine Canyon Landfill to celebrate Michael's seventh birthday. "We don't know where this interest in trash came from," said Michael's mother Sophia Wong. "He's been this way since he was 2."

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I thing the thongs
The Age | Submitted by: Ems
"Mr Doig combs the beach every weekend on one of his two sand buggies, swooping on washed-up thongs with a special spike. The thongs are nailed to his increasingly crowded back fence, and the collection recently spilled over to his neighbour's wall." Don't get too excited, these are foot-thongs not ass-thongs. Doig's collection also raises a perplexing mystery: "I haven't really looked into it, but I reckon there is more left than right, I think there might be a left foot bias for some reason."

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Bandit with a Gumball Jones
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Corehead
"Police in Falls Township, Bucks County have a somewhat bizarre crime to chew on. A bandit with a sweet tooth is on the loose. He's been dubbed the "Gumball Bandit" because he breaks into businesses and steals only gumball and candy machines."

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Showdown in Pyongyang
Guardian | Submitted by: Tobermory
And the Bush war schedule rumbles on: "But Kim Jong-Il, eccentric and irresponsible though he may be, is not entirely foolish. Like his father, he knows how to get the west's attention... But once its hands are free of Saddam, America's attention may turn to North Korea in ways that Kim could find terminally uncomfortable. (This) presents a deeply disturbing prospect for South Korea, Japan, and others (in) striking distance of Pyongyang's zany 'Dear Leader'."

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Man rapes corpse, then plays snooker
Sapa-DPA | Submitted by: Squiggle Monkey
A woman in Bangkok who resisted a rape attempt was murdered before the alleged rapist had sex with her corpse, news reports said on Monday... They arrested Khanti at a nearby snooker parlour."

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Reward offered for capture of God
Pravda | Submitted by: anonymous
"The Lord’s Resistance Army is ruled by a man called Joseph Kony, a modern day Pol Pot, who kidnaps children and forces them to fight the Ugandan government forces and takes nuns from convents and turns them into sex slaves. The Ugandan Army is now being offered a 16,000 Euro bounty for the capture of this man who is worshipped as a God by his followers."

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Stowaway clung to landing gear, lived
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: ferro_kid
"The man said he would get some warm air from a nearby pipe, and that when the plane would drop in altitude the air would warm up. He told TVA that when the landing gear opened for the plane to land in Montreal, he hung on to the pipe to keep from falling out."

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Campuses offer a kinder, gentler racism
Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal | Submitted by: Wierd Harold
"Jim Crow is back, only he's supposed to be kinder, gentler and mellower. Administrators have freshened up the label, and their dorms are not segregated houses, but "ethnic theme houses." Students who like such arrangements say they choose ethnic houses because they feel "safe" and appreciate a comfortable support system provided by their own kind... This sounds to those of us with long memories like making sure some people know their place."

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Phony plastic surgeon injected motor oil
Guardian | Submitted by: Monkeynavigated
"Nobody knows the makeup of the "fat-burning citrics" injected by the woman whose own swollen lips, voluptuous bottom, pert breasts and wasp-like waist were apparently the handiwork of someone else... Returning to the same hospital for a check-up, Candy Medina, a middle-aged saleswoman, trembled while describing the procedure to remove a pint and a half of motor oil from her abdomen."

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A skinny pill designed for FAT KIDS
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"The skinny pill for kids is a combination of pills, minerals, and fiber," Edita Kaye, developer of the Skinny Pill for Kids, told WNBC-TV in New York. "I think what we have put together with our chemists is a formula that has been shown to be safe and effective for children." "I think it's a little ridiculous," said Robert Meyer, a parent. "It's a parents' responsibility once again. They have to quit blaming everybody else and take responsibility for themselves." Too bad it's total bullshit.

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Number of organ donors in Greece: 22
Kathimerini | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Only two out of every million Greeks have declared themselves as prospective organ donors... This figure is the lowest in the European Union (Germany has 13 and Spain 33 for every million) and is largely due to a lack of information, mistrust of doctors and hospitals, as well as a fear of falling victim to the trade in organs."

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The newest pastime for stupid people
Ottawa Citizen | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"As tensions between Iraq and the United States grow, two Canadian women have left for Baghdad, the latest recruits for an army of human shields intent on stopping the conflict. Roommates Irene Vandas and Jennifer Ziemann flew from Vancouver to Jordan on Saturday. They are members of an anti-war group called Voices in the Wilderness and intend to use their bodies to discourage a U.S. bombing campaign."

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Want an abortion? You have to get a warrant
World Net Daily | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"Once a mother filed for a death warrant, a guardian would be appointed to protect the rights of the unborn child. That guardian would be authorized to demand a jury trial in which the rights of the unborn child would be balanced against the rights of the mother seeking to have the 'execution' performed."

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Link between sex ratio and female foeticide
Hindustan Times | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"The decline in female-male sex ratio from 945 in 1991 to 927 in 2001 raises the fear of female foeticide in the country, Rajya Sabha was informed on Monday. Minister of State for Health and Family Welfare, A. Raja, said no specific data is available on female foeticide as parties resort to this practice secretly in connivance with each other." Better not head to Georgia.

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Pentagon's microwave weapon targets civilians
Village Voice | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"What is the microwaver's target? It must be unarmed civilians, because as described, the VMAD wouldn't seem to offer much against terrorists or regular soldiers ready to fire back with conventional weapons. What is certain is that the Pentagon's microwave projects lack oversight and common sense. In one manic, grandiose claim, the Defense Department calls VMAD 'the biggest breakthrough in weapons technology since the atomic bomb.'"

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A fabulous new comic character
CNN | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Expect to hear from Oral Roberts or Jerry Fallwell any minute: "Marvel Comics plans to break new ground in the comic book industry by introducing the first openly gay title character in a comic book. In a bubble in the first edition of the series, Rawhide Kid comments about the Lone Ranger: "I think that mask and the powder blue outfit are fantastic. I can certainly see why the Indian follows him around."

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Hispanic on hispanic hate crime
Santa Fe New Mexican | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Andres Lopez, 60, of Cuarteles shot at a Mexican neighbor and his son two years ago, wounding the boy slightly. He told state police he has hated illegal immigrants for 50 years and hoped to hit the pair... Lopez did not deny racist statements attributed to him, but told the judge he wouldn't do such shootings again if released."

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Mary was a Butch
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Singing songs and chanting prayers, more than 100 people from several Catholic organizations gathered for a vigil in Davis Square yesterday to protest the opening of a multimedia rock opera Jesus Has Two Mommies... Eric Schmider, music director and one of three producers of the opera, said the show's message, despite its provocative title, is not to mock the religious icons or offend Catholics."

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