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December 05, 2002

Conjoined twins can't stand each other
BBC | Submitted by: Rev. Soror Lucy Cannon
Twins have irreconcilable differences, and demand immediate saucer separation: "We are two completely separate individuals who are stuck to each other... We have different lifestyles... We think very differently about issues... We believe it's all in God's hands. After God, we are relying on the team of doctors." Also smart.

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Homeland Security starts off with bang
2600 | Submitted by: anonymous
"After approximately an hour of interrogation, Maginnis was allowed to make a telephone call. Rather than contacting a lawyer, he called the Denver Post and asked for the news desk. This was immediately overheard by the desk sergeant, who hung up the phone and placed Maginnis in a holding cell... Maginnis's lawyer contacted the Denver Police Department for an explanation of the day's events, but the police denied ever having Maginnis, or anyone matching his description, in custody."

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Cases suggest NYPD forced confessions
Christian Science Monitor | Submitted by: meatload
"Thursday's court hearing is the culmination of a high-stakes drama that calls into question the tactics of the New York police investigators as well as the city's legendary prosecutor's office, at a time when the nation's entire justice system is under increased scrutiny for racial disparities. But it also raises the more baffling question as to why people would willingly confess to crimes they did not commit."

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Deppity left mental patient handcuffed outside
Wire Services | Submitted by: THE MIGHTY SNERT
"A Pickens County sheriff's deputy left a mental health patient handcuffed to a fence at a Columbia prison hospital after the staff refused to admit him because there was no vacancy... Pickens Assistant Sheriff Tim Morgan said they had a court order to deliver the man to the hospital... "We fulfilled the court order," Morgan said."

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Man tried to steal bubblegum machine from court
Wilmington Star-News | Submitted by: WallWart
"Trooper John Ludlum said he had just entered the courthouse foyer when he saw a man lift the candy dispenser over his shoulder and walk the five paces out the front door. Unsure whether the man was servicing or stealing the machine, the trooper followed. His suspicions grew when the man hastily loaded it in the back of a waiting Ford Explorer."

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Eccentric British Lord ISO Lady of the Manor
Yahoo! Singapore | Submitted by: SR
"[The Lord of Warleigh] has placed an advert in the International Herald Tribune newspaper in his search for the ideal woman to share his life and help him redevelop Warleigh House, his rambling mansion in rural southwest England. "I placed the ad on November 9 and so far I've had well over 100 responses," said Piper, who describes himself as the "eccentric Lord of the Manor."

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Israeli Army issuing Palestinian undies
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
"An Israeli soldier has complained to the authorities that he was given Palestinian-made underwear during his national service... Aviv Kolber, 37, was on duty in the West Bank when he realised his military-issue underwear was made in Beit Jalla, a Palestinian village."

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Bigfoot dead at 84
Seattle Times | Submitted by: Panzo
The man who was Bigfoot is dead. Who can follow in his footsteps? Ray Wallace's family now admits that he was the arch hoaxer behind the original 1958 tracks that spawned the runaway "Bigfoot" craze: "Some experts suspected Mr. Wallace had planted the footprints that launched the term "Bigfoot." But Mr. Wallace and his family had never publicly admitted the 1958 deed until now." The big lug will be sorely missed.

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Bull totally gets Matador
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A Spanish bullfighter returned to the ring after being trampled by a bull twice in one week, according to a Local 6 News report. Spanish matador Cesar Jimenez was in the ring when a bull lifted him off the ground by his clothing and threw him several times. Just a week prior to the incident, Jimenez was also thrown by a bull in the same ring." With video of same.

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Dancing man in negligee gets probation
Penn Live | Submitted by: johnnydomino
"A Bethlehem man who provided a naked peep show from his window to a pair of UGI workers was sentenced Wednesday to 23 months' probation. UGI worker Tom Perinotti said in an interview in June that he saw someone wearing a negligee and dancing in the window of a home in the 600 block of Center Street in Bethlehem. 'Everyone else sees women. What do we see?' Perinotti joked in the June interview."

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Martha Stuart: Child pornographer
American Family Association | Submitted by: Honkey Kong
"Dooney & Bourke say the girls are over 18, and defends it as "a great tradition in the arts," but American Family Association Chairman Don Wildmon says the photo is clearly an attempt to make the girls look much younger. "These girls look no older than 14, at best. Martha Stewart should be embarrassed by allowing such ads in her magazine, and Dooney & Bourke should be ashamed at making naked women to look like little girls."

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Sex toy parties replacing Tupperware parties
Aftenposten | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Many of us have had home demos of everything from make-up to plastic bowls. The principle is the same, but the products our consultants bring home to you are maybe a bit more exciting?" says Therese Warner, who heads the [Condomery's] home party project. Warner says that the atmosphere at these get-togethers is often giddy as a variety of toys, lubricants, and other fun items are passed around for the participants to examine."

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Jerry Springer Opera opens in London
Wire Services | Submitted by: SR
"An outrageous opera based on Jerry Springer's lurid talk show is to have its world premiere at Britain's National Theater... Among the opera's showstoppers are a diaper fetishist confessing all to his true love, a dance routine by the Ku Klux Klan and Jesus launching into a swearing tirade against the Devil."

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Nude college wrestlers awarded $506M for illegal tapes
WMAQ-TV 5 Chicago | Submitted by: SR
"The plaintiffs in a case against companies that sold nude locker-room video on the Internet have won a $506 million judgment, NBC5's Marion Brooks reported. The case involved 46 wrestlers from various colleges, including Northwestern University, who were taped without their knowledge and then exposed on the Web."

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Hermaphrodite albino lobster
Halifax Chronicle-Herald | Submitted by: IguanaGirl
"The smallish, half-albino crustacean is no heavyweight. It weighs less than a kilogram. But fishermen who've looked at the little lobster's undercarriage, and then looked again, say the bottom crawler is a hermaphrodite. You know, a bit of male and female in the same package."

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Air traffic controllers on hunger strike
BBC | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Flights over Russia are being disrupted by an escalating hunger strike among badly paid Siberian air traffic controllers. Controllers in 11 airports nationwide are now starving themselves in support of a protest begun last Friday in the Siberian oil town of Surgut... Already, 20 Surgut strikers have been declared unfit to work, and three have been taken to hospital."

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Japan killer cannibal back on streets
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: Dollar Bob Brady
"It has been over 21 years since Issei Sagawa committed one of the most shocking and heinous crimes in modern history. He freely admits to having slaughtered a Dutch woman in Paris, sexually violated her corpse, then literally butchered her so he could eat some of her remains."

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Don't get fresh with me
Victorville Daily Press | Submitted by: bacillus
"A Barstow man confessed to killing a Daggett historian after the victim allegedly 'got fresh' with the defendant, a sheriff’s investigator testified Wednesday. Williams offered to pay Daniels $10 if he let Williams sleep naked beside him. Daniels agreed, but warned Williams not to touch him. 'Mr. Daniels said he suddenly felt something touching him and he went off on (Williams),' the sergeant said. Prosecutor Michael Fermin asked [sergeant] Kleczko where Williams allegedly touched Daniels. 'In the area of his butt,' he replied." [What did the defendant expect, after such a proposal?]

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A-Ha bandmember not too bright
Independent Online | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"Magne Furuholmen, of Norwegian pop group A-ha, had decorated the tree with flowers and stars made out of banknotes. The two-metre-high tree was then placed near the station, a popular hang-out for heroin addicts. Furuholmen, who gained world fame with the A-ha song Take On Me and is also an artist, used 50, 100, 200 and 500 crown notes as decorations to symbolise the commercialisation of Christmas. He also hung up chains made of five crown coins."

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A very very Al Qaeda Christmas
CNN | Submitted by: SR
"Oh American people, you are the victim of your leaders, but you are also a partner in the war on us. The gift for the holiday is on its way, the statement continued. The translation was provided by the Middle East Media Research Institute, a Washington-based service that translates and distributes articles from Arabic newspapers."

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Synthetic marijuana may ease depression
Web MD | Submitted by: SeMeN SPeRmS
"A distant chemical relative of marijuana may hold the promise of relieving depression and anxiety without the negative side effects of a marijuana high." What negative side effects?!?

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Suicide mistaken for art performance
Wire Services | Submitted by: SeMeN SPeRmS
It is not truly art unless you are prepared to die for it: "A group of visitors to the center at first thought the body lying on the ground at the art center was part of an art performance," said police spokeswoman Christine Rother. "It took a while before anyone realized it was not an act but a suicide."

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