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November 25, 2002

Sodomy High School
Montgomery County Gazette | Submitted by: george_lazenby
Klepper (15), Song (19) and Baird (14) skipped school Nov. 8 and contacted the victim via a telephone number listed on her Internet advertisement for adult services. Offering her a modeling role in an adult film, Klepper invited the woman to his mother's home in Potomac where he promised to show samples of previous productions he had made. When the woman entered the residence at about 11:30 a.m., Song beat the woman over the head with a baseball bat and Baird drugged her with an ether rag. With a knife held to her face, the woman was made to sit in a chair while Klepper directed Song to take the woman's cell phone and car keys. Klepper told the woman to undress and then sodomized her with her cell phone, a Sharpie and finally a baseball bat.

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Rabid Briton goes batty, dies
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"A man has died after contracting Britain's first case of rabies for 100 years, hospital bosses have confirmed. David McRae, a 56 year old conservationist from Guthrie, Angus, Scotland, failed to recover from European Bat Lyssavirus, a type of rabies found in several northern European countries. Mr McRae, who was licensed to handle bats, was bitten by one of the creatures on at least one occasion."

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Los Alamos says their trees are radioactive
Santa Fe New Mexican | Submitted by: Frr
"os Alamos County and U.S. Forest Service personnel who are thinning trees in Bayo Canyon east of Los Alamos have been warned by Los Alamos National Laboratory not to remove trees they cut in various parts of the canyon because the trees might be radioactive."

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Return of the Gnomes
CNN | Submitted by: Jandy Esposito
Police are trying to find owners of lawn gnomes stolen from a liberation front, a story we covered before several times. But there's this quote in the article from the police: "We even had five of the seven dwarfs at one time," said Debbie Speciale, police records supervisor. "Apparently two escaped capture."

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Worries over Botox parties
BBC | Submitted by: Bud
Writing in the British Medical Journal, [Dr. Peter Misra] said: "In this atmosphere of 'Botox parties', where champagne sipping socialites are injected with botulinum toxin, it is easy to forget that it is a potent neurotoxin and that its very long-term effects are still unknown."

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Unclaimed Thai corpses go online
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Phad pongy guy
"Thailand's most famous forensic pathologist has come up with a novel way of identifying corpses: display their pictures in cyberspace, along with details of their features and cause of death." Says Porntip (yes her real name), "The motive for creating the website was simply to identify the unknown deceased." That doesn't exactly explain closeups of bloated genitalia that appear on her website, however.

Read article... and This article...

Medic takes a stand for squatting urinaters
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Sandy Dick
"An Indian medical scholar is defending the honour of his countrymen when it comes to urination: he says the traditional method of squatting is healthier than the Western inclination to stand... fainting after urination, known to medical practitioners as micturition syncope [is] not found in women."

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Santa's wallet stolen
Wire Services | Submitted by: Jack Cox
"Clarence Esser, 68, of Winchester, Va., had his wallet and navy blue work pants stolen from the break room Thursday as he listened to children's holiday wishes while playing Santa Claus, police said Saturday... Esser said he lost $215, treasured pictures and important documents in the theft."

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Idaho town wants to get blind rider off the streets
Seattle Times | Submitted by: mokesmay
"Nampa city officials began receiving complaints that [the Blind woman, Tabitha] Darling was riding dangerously through traffic, council members invoked an obscure prohibition on horse riding in the city. Her father, Rob Darling, says that violates her rights under federal law."

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Cross-dressing dad on 4th grade field trip
St. Louis Today | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Parent Vickie McMichael became concerned about what her daughter had learned on the trip after another parent called her the next day. The parent, who had been on the trip, told her that a student's father had gone on the trip dressed in women's clothing... She said 9- and 10-year-old children didn't need to spend 15 hours that day being "influenced" by a man in women's clothing. 'It is difficult enough as parents to sit down and talk about the birds and the bees, much less to discuss cross-dressing,' she said."

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Man survives house explosions, twice
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"A decade ago, Harebell Childress was bathing when lightning hit his home and set it on fire. He escaped unscathed, wearing only a towel, and rebuilt his house... Earlier this week, he was watching television when an explosion burned the house down. He got out with just cuts on his forehead and a sore back and left shoulder."

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Live nude ghouls
New York Post | Submitted by: wingnut
"Now a suburban New Jersey town is the home of America's first haunted strip club. The staff of the Liquid Assets lounge in South Plainfield says a gaggle of go-go loving ghouls invaded their burlesque hall after the club's owners spotted an otherworldly image on a security video last summer. "I've been in the field for 20 years now and this is to me without a doubt a ghost," said self-described "ghostbuster" Jane Doherty. "The way it's moving clearly shows it has a consciousness." More than some customers.

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Quality porn in a quality neighborhood
AZ Central | Submitted by: wingnut
"Nearby homeowners say they are forced to draw their drapes and lock their children inside their $1 million homes when porn movie actors and production crews show up for 12-hour film shoots at a handsome, white-stuccoed house on the end of the lane's cul-de-sac. Lawyer Marc Smith said he and his wife decided to rent out their home for adult films on a whim after their three boys went off to college. Smith said he is prepared to stop the filming immediately, if neighbors "come to us and say they are offended" Duh.

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Telescope to challenge moon doubters
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
They aren't going to believe it anyway: "Conspiracy theorists, you have a problem. In an effort to silence claims that the Apollo moon landings were faked, European scientists are to use the world's newest and largest telescope to see whether the spacecraft are still on the lunar surface. Supporters of the conspiracy theory welcomed the news that astronomers were to photograph the landing sites. But Marcus Allen, the British publisher of Nexus magazine and a long-time advocate of the theory, said photographs of the lander would not prove that the US put men on the moon. "Getting to the moon really isn't much of a problem, the Russians did that in 1959," he said. "The big problem is getting people there." According to Mr Allen, NASA was forced to send robots to the moon and faked the manned missions because radiation levels in space were lethal to humans.

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Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!
Washington Post | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"In parts of rural Japan, monkeys are stripping the persimmon trees, digging up sweet potatoes, ravaging the radishes, carrying off the pumpkins and taking ears of corn to go... "I was making lunch in the kitchen, and when I looked back, a monkey was standing in the hallway," said Teruko Iwasaki, 49, telling of the uninvited visitor to her Kagoshima home two months ago. "For a second, we looked at each other. Then I screamed, 'Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!'"

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Jethro mining gold from Hillbillies
CNN | Submitted by: jonsl
"Max Baer Jr., who once played the burly, doltish character on "The Beverly Hillbillies," recently signed a deal with International Game Technology of Reno to produce hundreds of penny slot machines featuring the show that once drew millions of loyal viewers."

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Thank you Dr. Nitschke
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Lisette Nigot was not ill. She was not in pain. But she was 79 and, quite simply, did not want to live to 80. So last week the retired academic took a fatal overdose in her Perth home, leaving a suicide note describing the euthanasia campaigner Philip Nitschke as her inspiration. Yesterday, Dr Nitschke released that note, which Ms Nigot had pinned behind her bed. "After 80 years of a good life, I have [had] enough of it," she wrote. "I want to stop it before it gets bad."

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Jamaica's Deputy Speaker funky English
Jamaica Gleaner | Submitted by: Alter Ego
"It's perhaps a bit late in the day to teach him the rudiments of grammar. He should, therefore, learn to keep it simple; avoid the big words. Also, Mr. Williams should endeavour to have his speeches scripted and he should rehearse them several times before delivery. It would be best if he avoided speaking in public at all. But, alas, the Prime Minister has made sure of that by appointing him Deputy Speaker of the House."

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Vomiting disease closes ER
Toronto Star | Submitted by: fuzzboy
"The emergency room at Sunnybrook and Women’s College Health Sciences Centre is closed after an outbreak of a "winter vomiting disease" was discovered this weekend. The ward closed early this morning after a staff member was discovered to have the virus Saturday evening. About 20 people have been infected with the highly contagious virus, half of them staff, the other half patients."

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Woman intimate with elephant
Wire Services | Submitted by: Scooter The Wonderduck
The mind boggles at the possible captions for this photo.

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