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November 24, 2002

Bush Twins burn their fake ID's
New York Daily News | Submitted by: Meerkat
"Cheers to the Bush twins, who turn 21 tomorrow and can finally throw away their fake IDs. Jenna and Barbara Bush, whose hijinx have given their presidential father headaches, will finally reach legal age and can have a cocktail without worrying about the cops."

Read article... and This article...

Brainy crooks kill bank guard to steal empty bag
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Bo Raxo
These two unidentified criminal masterminds certainly planned the perfect crime: wait for the armed guards to show up to clean out the deposits in the ATM. Shoot them both, and steal the bag. One hitch: they forgot to wait until AFTER the guards opened up the ATM and filled the bag. One guard dead, and a block away the cops find the getaway car (well, SUV actually) and the empty bag. D'oh.

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Denial is not a river in Nunavut
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Nunavut's correctional system does not provide bleach or have a needle exchange program. Nor does it provide condoms or lubricant to prevent the spread of HIV-AIDS through sexual activity. Paul Okalik, the territory's premier and justice minister, said there is no need for such measures in Nunavut. There is little use of injection drugs, and no same-sex activity in the territory's jail, he said." Mmm hmm.

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Midshipmen traitors downloading music
Hometown Annapolis | Submitted by: Mick Foley is God
These mids are scared. They lost their computers and may have to go before a tribunal. This highlights the huge problems within the military's judicial system, as well as the results of RIAA's whining.

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Man seeks right to give son peyote
Wire Services | Submitted by: Raven Eyed Bacchante
"A member of an American Indian tribe said the court system is infringing on his religious freedom by prohibiting his 4 year old son from being given peyote, a hallucinogenic plant, during spiritual ceremonies... In 1994, Congress carved out exemptions for "the practice of a traditional Indian religion" by members of federally recognized tribes."

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Letter to the West from Bin Laden
Observer | Submitted by: crow
This is the full text of a letter recently translated from Arabic by British intelligence sources. It is probably bin Laden's most comprehensive explanation of his ideology and thoughts.

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That shawl's a security risk
BBC | Submitted by: Honkey Kong
"A Christian politician in Australia has stirred controversy after saying that Muslim women should be banned from wearing traditional costumes because they pose a security risk. The Reverend Fred Nile, a Christian Democrat MP in New South Wales, said Muslim women in Australia could use their chador, a combination head covering, veil and shawl, to hide explosives.

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Watch embedded in bombing victim's neck
Israel Insider | Submitted by: Humphrey T.
Takes a licking: "During the course of the operation the surgeons also began to deal with the metallic objects that had lodged in Michal's neck, first detected in a CAT scan. Only when the surgeons had removed all of the pieces did the "puzzle" become clear, Yediot Aharonot reported. They were part of a man's Calvin Klein wristwatch, and included the clock face, dials and gears. The battery of the watch was not found."

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All you can drink specials in the hot seat
Green Bay Press-Gazette | Submitted by: wingnut
"Capt. John Koser of the De Pere Police Department said the proposed ordinance is... aimed at specials that charge a flat fee and allow patrons to "drink until they fall over." Koser cited vandalism, public urination and fighting [fun things all!] among the frequent offenses that have resulted from over-consumption. "Whether itís good or bad, itís almost tradition to hold drink specials,said Mary Geissler, 21, a senior English major."

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Poor working girls rendered jobless again
News 24 South Africa | Submitted by: meatload
It is a sex show with a difference: no charge with lawyers, senior policemen and other professionals taking part in all styles of sex with teenagers all night long in front of 150 people or more. The patrons of the Polokwane night club at which it all happens pay only R5 at the door. If a "dancer" is a white girl they pay double... Mogashoa told City Press he was doing his bit for "job creation", for the unemployed, and should not be arrested for it.

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Man rapes crippled palsy boy
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Honkey Kong
"A Bear man who raped an 18-year-old man with cerebral palsy has been sentenced to eleven years and nine months in prison. 48 year old Edward Smith pleaded guilty yesterday to second-degree rape and endangering the welfare of an incompetent person."

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Victor takes his secret to Supreme Court
Southern Illinoisan | Submitted by: Humphrey T.
"Moseley's troubles with Victoria's Secret started just three weeks after he and his wife, Cathy, opened a novelty store in February 1998 called Victor's Secret... Moseley changed the shop's name to Cathy's Little Secret. But Victoria's Secret flip-flopped on its claim of trademark violation. It now contends the store's name amounts to trademark dilution. "Victor is my given name. I'm proud of it, and believe I have a right to use it," he said."

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Barbie to be banned in Russia
Observer | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The Russian Ministry of Education has included Barbie along with a list of other toys and games, such as Pokťmon, that face a ban because of the supposedly harmful effects they have on the minds of young children. Barbie, in particular, is under fire because the doll is thought to awaken sexual impulses in the minds of the very young, and encourage consumerism among Russian infants."

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Internet stormtroopers patrol Berlin
Independent Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Generally they show up in mid-afternoon when Berlin's many Internet cafes are full of young after school patrons. Men in black berets and heavy boots march in, with a couple of them manning the exits lest anyone escape. "Hands off the keyboards," an officer shouts. And then his men fan out to check what websites the customers have been surfing... The goal is to prevent youth from having access to pornographic material or banned Nazi websites or to other illicit offerings."

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Radiation burns for Norwegian princess
Deutsche Welle | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Sandra Maischberger, who presents a popular daily show of the same name on the news channel n-tv, was honored by the Norwegian government with the "Golden Salmon" for sending Norway's Crown Princess Mette-Marit back home red-faced... The combined force of the sun's rays and the powerful studio lights had caused severe sunburn in her face and snowblindness (which you might expect in Norway but not in Berlin)! Photos later showed the poor princess' flecky skin peeling off and hanging in flaps off her face."

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The stupidest pub rule ever
Washington Times | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"You're drinking with friends in a pub in London's lively West End when a catchy tune comes on the jukebox and you begin swaying to the music. Stop right there; you might be breaking the law. A British pub chain was fined $7,850 after undercover inspectors caught a few patrons dancing at two of its popular bars. The crime: flouting licensing laws that ban "rhythmic moving."

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Bird carcasses hung to deter vultures
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: Ru Ru
"Hung upside down from a tree, wings spread, the birds could scare away the many vultures roosting in state land that abuts the subdivision. "We have some in the freezer that we've saved over the years when we find them," Avery said. Vultures can pose health problems if their feces gets into water sources. Power outages have occurred when feces accumulates on transmission towers." But don't bird carcasses attract vultures?

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Blues Brothers drive not what it used to be
Times Dailiy | Submitted by: meatload
"Home to vagrants, rodents of legendary size and an obstructing support column, decrepit Lower Wacker Drive was as much a Chicago classic as Bears football and Old Style beer. Millions of people who have never driven it would recognize the crumbling, menacingly dim street from a famed chase scene in the movie "The Blues Brothers." Both levels of one of Chicago's busiest thoroughfares are scheduled to reopen Tuesday after nearly two years of reconstruction."

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Top NYC cop get Aerosmith carry permits
New York Post | Submitted by: JOPY666
It's impossible to get a gun permit to carry, or even own a gun in New York City. Unless you're Aerosmith, where you can "bribe" the Deputy Inspector to get you a carry permit by giving him backstage passes. Why can't normal, law abiding people get guns when ex-junky purple skinned rockers can?

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The Tulia Fiasco
Texas Observer | Submitted by: Mad hatter
We've been following this story for a while: "Colemanís success seemed too good to be true, and it was. In not one single case did he wear a wire, nor did any second officer ever corroborate his claims with eyewitness or video evidence. When the arrests finally came, not one single suspect was found to be in possession of drugs or weapons. Perhaps most striking of all, forty of the suspects were black in a town with fewer than 300 black residents." Certainly an efficient way to round-up your negroes .

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Hamas funded by Israel
UPI | Submitted by: Meerkat
Former US intelligence officers lend support to Arafat's claim that Israel pulls Hamas strings. "Israel's support for Hamas "was a direct attempt to divide and dilute support for a strong, secular PLO by using a competing religious alternative." This is a UPI story, not some schmuck's weblog.

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Library computer bans itself
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Meerkat
"Library Director James Oda earlier this month attempted to access the library's new Web site... to show it off for the library staff. After three months of work by the staff, Oda was justifiably proud of the site. Unfortunately, the library computer denied him access."

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Conspiracy kooks more credible than White House
Buzz Flash | Submitted by: Meerkat
As the US government's rhetoric and actions steadily slide towards a future that seems more and more to resemble the plot of of Orwell's 1984, one can't help notice that some of those 'conspiracy kooks' weren't so kooky after all.

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Sing like shit, sound like angels
Wire Services | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"It's the impossible dream of enthusiastic shower singers everywhere: Being able to belt out a song without scaring the pets or small children. Now, with help from a device just hitting store shelves nationwide, that dream could become a reality."

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