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November 21, 2002

NYC considers cruise ships for homeless
CNN | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Homeless People Everywhere, Head East: "New York City officials flew to the Bahamas Wednesday morning in Mayor Michael Bloomberg's private jet to assess the possibility of using retired pleasure cruise ships docked there as homeless shelters. The idea came from the Bloomberg administration, said Anderson, as a creative way to tackle New York City's all-time high homeless numbers. About 67,000 people, including 16,000 children, stay in shelters each night in the city, according to Anderson." Julie, your cruise director, will be with you shortly.

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How Yugoslavia tricked NATO forces
Wire Services | Submitted by: Meerkat
Yugoslavia was a far more challenging foes than the US military admitted. Their succesful use of decoy planes and tanks made the US's bombing raids seem more succesful than they really were. The following is a list of tactics they used to fool a technologically superior foe. I'm sure the Iraqi's won't be reading anything like this.

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A billion videographers can't be wrong
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: motrinwoman
Law enforcement officers enjoy ready access to a wide variety of mobile surveillance equipment. But why bother with all the hassle of becoming a cop, when you can just purchase some hidden cameras and surveil anybody you want? You can find miniature video cameras for under $100 small enough to be disguised inside a wide variety of everyday room fixtures. But even if you never bother to get up off your ass and become the next Little Brother on your block, don't despair. Chances are, your neighbors are getting videotaped about 30 times every day by ordinary, everyday security cameras. So if that crazy guy next door finally goes postal tomorrow, rest assured that the national media will have a wide range of recent photos to choose from for their infographic.

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Rabbi convicted of murder in NJ
Wire Services | Submitted by: hobitch
"A rabbi was convicted of murder Wednesday for hiring two men to beat his wife to death so he could carry on an affair with a woman he met while ministering to her dying husband. Neulander, took the stand last year to deny any role in the slaying. He said he and his 52-year-old wife had an 'open marriage' [Is that even kosher?] in which they agreed to see other people. 'Everything was kosher,' [Apparently so.] Neulander said about his relationship with his wife."

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KKK allowed to wear their stylish hoods
Newsday | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Members of the Ku Klux Klan may demonstrate in their ceremonial hoods, a judge ruled Tuesday, saying a state law banning masks at public gatherings is unconstitutional... He added that New York City engaged in viewpoint discrimination when it applied the law to the Klan but not to other groups in similar scenarios."

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Officer shoots self in foot, feels dumb
Florida Sun-Herald | Submitted by: Albert Bsales
"A veteran Florida Highway Patrol officer accidentally shot himself in the foot Monday morning at a gun range in Manatee County. Capt. Van G. Fussell, 62, FHP Venice commander, was treated for a gunshot wound to the foot and released from Blake Hospital in Bradenton."

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He bought a Victoria's Secret bra! Cuff 'im, boys!
Fox News | Submitted by: MeatPopsicle
"Edward Aldridge, undersecretary of Acquisitions and Technology, told reporters that the Pentagon is developing a prototype database to seek 'patterns indicative of terrorist activity.'" In other words, the Pentagon is set to start watching our shopping habits in order to nab potential terrorists. Better not those boxcutters, sonny!

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Woman faces felony for having 17 dildos
Longview News-Journal | Submitted by: alahzad
On Monday night, police in White Oak, Texas pulled over Kathy Grubbs for her erratic driving. After she failed the breathalyzer (0.22%), the officers placed her under arrest and began searching the pickup. Which is where they found the 17 "obscene materials and obscene devices" that were taken into evidence. According to the chief of police, the confiscated items were primarily lotions and dildos. Unfortunately for Grubbs, she now faces a felony charge (and two years in jail) just for possessing the dildos. Why? Because it's illegal in Texas to peddle sex toys, and if you have six or more you're assumed to be a pusher.

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Woman in morgue had a pulse
Washington Post | Submitted by: zoginda
"A District woman believed to be dead was placed in a body bag by a team from the D.C. medical examiner's office, taken to the morgue and put in a refrigerated box until an investigator, who was called to officially declare her dead, found a pulse... When the body was removed from the bed, "she sighed and she moaned," the source said. The supervisor from the medical examiner's office heard the noises and said, "It's just aspirations. No big deal," the source said."

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Scientists plan man-made life
Washington Post | Submitted by: optional
"Scientists in Rockville are to announce this morning that they plan to create a new form of life in a laboratory dish, a project that raises ethical and safety issues but also promises to illuminate the fundamental mechanics of living organisms... Their intent is to create a single celled, partially manmade organism with the minimum number of genes necessary to sustain life."

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Mummies found in Florida house
Fort Myers News-Press | Submitted by: Donna
"A calendar and rotting food found Wednesday inside the home at 3000 E. Fifth St. indicates the mother, her son and their German shepherd died in 1999, Lee County sheriff’s detectives said... He found Liz Fuchs, 70, on the floor next to the dining room table. Josef, 34, who suffered from a nervous disorder, was tucked into bed, his dog curled up at his side. The lights inside were on and air conditioning flowed through the two bedroom house."

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Girls lose basketball playoff, 115-2
Wire Services | Submitted by: Jack Cox
"Hamilton said that despite the [115-2] score, the Lakeshore girls were upbeat. The school, he said, doesn't think Walkerville deliberately ran up the score. He noted that Walkerville has scored over 100 before, including a 102-19 win on Monday night."

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Fuck comes 3rd, Cunt & Motherfucker better...
Guardian | Submitted by: DroelNoel
"In 1976, the Sex Pistols famously used the word on Thames Today, infuriating presenter Bill Grundy. And from the 1980s onwards, films have routinely contained a fusillade of fucks, with Hugh Grant's opening salvo in Four Weddings and a Funeral a notable example. Which made it little surprise that by 1997, when several broadcasting organisations produced a ranking of words by severity, fuck only came in third, behind cunt and motherfucker."

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Public autopsy held
New Scientist | Submitted by: Alhazred
"The public autopsy had been justified by von Hagens as demystifying the post mortem examination, which anyone might have to sanction for a dead relative. He likened the medical profession to medieval priests who would not allow ordinary people to read the Bible. And he also cited the concerns voiced by doctors at the decline in post mortems following scandals in which some UK hospitals retained organs without permission."

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State officials got free pot as kickback
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: meatload
"Prosecutors accused [Chicago] Gov. George Ryan's former top aide Wednesday of accepting gifts from state contractors and others ranging from free marijuana and Jamaican vacations to the use of a $12,000 boat. The fresh allegations were the latest installment in the four-year federal investigation of bribes paid in exchange for Illinois drivers licenses and other political corruption when Ryan was secretary of state."

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Miss World: Allah gets some?
Baltimore Sun | Submitted by: Streaker
"Muslims burned down a newspaper office yesterday to protest an article suggesting Islam's prophet might have chosen a wife from among contestants in the Miss World beauty pageant being held in Nigeria. A group of Islamic scholars declared a "serious religious emergency". "As a result of the indescribable pain caused to Muslims... one cannot predict what can happen" if the pageant goes ahead."

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Greeks ban death dolls
Independent Online | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"Greece has banned the sale of "dead dolls", children's toys featuring fiery eyes, scarred faces and bloodied mouths which come in their own little coffins. The dolls also have their own death certificates. "These toys constitute a serious threat to the smooth formation and development of the child's personality and mental health," the development ministry said in a statement."

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Freak throws rotten fish at people
Independent Online | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"Constable Joshua Sparks says that while the identity of the man is known, he has never been arrested because his transgressions have not been seen in a serious enough light. "I will however most certainly look into this matter because we can't have people throwing rotten fish around," he said."

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