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November 14, 2002

Al Qaeda ready to nuke the fuck out of USA
Asia Times | Submitted by: anonymous
This article is based on a transcript of an interview conducted by the Qatar-based Al-Jazeera television station with an alleged high ranking al-Qaeda operative. The identity of the man has not been confirmed, nor has his membership within al-Qaeda. The interview has received scant coverage in the English-language press. This could be because of the apocalyptic scenario that it paints, or because it is simply believed to be too far-fetched to be true. [Update: It has been withdrawn and replaced with a link to a hoax page. Gotta love Asia Times fact checking.]

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Where Maximum Overdrive becomes reality
Ottawa Citizen | Submitted by: Gorg
"Complaints that two transmission towers near Victoria are causing garage doors to open automatically, sprinkler systems to turn on by themselves and reclining beds to fold up in the night have helped to spark a national consultation on how Industry Canada approves antenna towers."

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Anime obscenity conviction stands
ICv2 News | Submitted by: Demon Rapist
"The Castillo conviction was for the sale of an adult manga to an adult... In the original case, the prosecution argued that comics are a children's medium, and that the medium and the proximity of the store to a school meant that the adult material was meant to appeal to children. This was undoubtedly an essential component for obtaining a conviction, since adult Pay Per View channels and hardcore magazines are ubiquitous in almost all U.S. jurisdictions."

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Bondage queen becomes media whore
Canadian Press | Submitted by: Gorg
"A Canadian bondage queen, her movie producer pal and a man in a maid's uniform visited police Wednesday to collect an assortment of S&M paraphernalia seized in a raid eight years ago... She whooped with delight as she pulled several pairs of nutcrackers out of a box, holding one pair up to the cameras, cackling ominously as she gave it several mighty squeezes."

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Star Search: where rapist-comedians get their start
Iowa City Press-Citizen | Submitted by: dirty sammy
"A former "Star Search" comedian accused in a string of Midwest campus rapes is scheduled to stand trial beginning today in Johnson County, the site of his first alleged crime, but the last for which he likely will be prosecuted... Champ is suspected in other campus rapes across the country, including at schools in Wisconsin and Illinois. Officials in those jurisdictions have not indicated an interest in prosecuting him."

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Stories the media blew in 2002
Straight Goods | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"He described a number of instances where you are in the room and there are people who make those decisions. For fifty years in Toronto no one was allowed to report on any union organizing activities at Toronto because Eaton's was the biggest advertiser in any newspaper. Everybody knew that."

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Bodybomb a hoax
New Zealand Herald | Submitted by: Llewellyn
"A Nelson man was found dead in the car. Instructions for building bombs were found in the car and electrical wires protruded from it. Police are not treating the death as suspicious, and the man's name was not available early today." How exactly is this dead body not suspicious?

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Copping to the Truth
Miami New Times | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
A man who wants to be a cop has an interesting lie detector experience: "At the end of the polygraph exam Moore told Poyser the test showed some deception. Moore says he suggested that if Poyser wanted to, he could write out a statement explaining why the machine might indicate he was not being fully forthright. "Why don't you write what you know about the robberies and that will help explain the test to the department," Moore recalls telling Poyser. To his amazement Poyser penned a complete confession to two unsolved armed robberies in December of 1999, one at a Denny's restaurant on U.S. 1, and another two weeks later at a Papa John's pizzeria, also on U.S. 1."

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Crusaders in the Holy Land
Dallas Observer | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"When she is not helping about 20 other missionary families with money matters, she will be living among Muslims, meeting them and endeavoring to get close enough "to share Christ." In that work, which some call "friendship evangelism," she says she is prepared to break the anti proselytizing laws that are common in many Islamic countries, risk her life and endanger the lives of those she might convert in order to bring the gospel to the unreached."

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Phantom of the Popera
Wire Services | Submitted by: Big Daddy G
No, not an extra from the Planet of the Apes remake.

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It's 1984, part I
Washington Post | Submitted by: Kreepy Monster
"A new Pentagon research office has started designing a global computer surveillance system to give U.S. counterterrorism officials access to personal information in government and commercial databases around the world." Think that's scary? Read on... "Getting the Defense Department job is something of a comeback for Poindexter. The Reagan administration national security adviser was convicted in 1990 of five felony counts of lying to Congress, destroying official documents and obstructing congressional inquiries into the Iran-contra affair, which involved the secret sale of arms to Iran in the mid-1980s and diversion of profits to help the contra rebels in Nicaragua."

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It's 1984, part II
New York Times | Submitted by: ohdeargod
A story so important, we're posting it twice: "Every purchase you make with a credit card, every magazine subscription you buy and medical prescription you fill, every Web site you visit and e-mail you send or receive, every academic grade you receive, every bank deposit you make, every trip you book and every event you attend, all these transactions and communications will go into what the Defense Department describes as "a virtual, centralized grand database.""

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What Would Jesus Drive?
Guardian | Submitted by: econobiker
Our rather verbose submitter rants: The enviro-terrorists are teaming up with religious fanatics. Can not these people get a bloody clue? The reason SUV's are selling so well is because most Americans are big and fat. And big and fat doesn't fit comfortable in a freaking Hyundai. And most fat assed Americans live in the areas that these goobs are targeting their message. Why do you think restuarants with all-you-can-eat buffets are doing so well? So in response to this lunacy, I say: Yes. I, in fact, really do know What Would Jesus Drive. He would drive a Low Rider 1964 Chevrolet Impala SS Hardtop Sport Coupe, gold mega spoke 12" rims and a welded chain steering wheel, and be the baddest Chicano gansta in the Bario.

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Schoolgirl sex slave: Over 800 served
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"Sweet sixteen should be a time when people talk about you as though you've never been kissed. But the early November arrest of a middle-aged Osaka man and a teen-age has since revealed a lurid horror story of how they allegedly forced a 16-year-old girl into prostitution, holding her captive for eight months and coercing her into providing sexual services to about 800 men for no more than 500 yen [FIVE DOLLAH] a day."

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US tried to topple Sadddam with wacky radio
Village Voice | Submitted by: Ted Koppel, Jr.
"Word got around the department that I was a good Arabic translator who did a great Saddam imitation," recalls the Harvard grad student." Eventually, someone phoned me asking if I wanted to help change the course of Iraq policy." So twice a week, for $3000 a month... he took a taxi from his campus apartment to a Boston-area recording studio rented by the Rendon Group, a D.C.-based public relations firm with close ties to the U.S. government. His job: Translate and dub spoofed Saddam Hussein speeches and tongue-in-cheek newscasts for broadcast throughout Iraq."

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Jilted lover snapped, and snipped
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Esteban, Chop Suezy
A jilted Hong Kong woman has been jailed for circumcising her sleeping lover with a pair of scissors after he told he was dumping her, according to reports today. Unfortunately, the would be Cassanova made the mistake of telling her this piece of information in post coital bliss.

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Court munchies: two bust for dope in chips
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Eish_man
"A pair of well-meaning women who were watching a trial in South Africa have been bust trying to sneak a chunky bag of dope, hidden in a packet of crisps, to two defendants. But the bag busrt, leaving the Johannesburg Regional Court covered in cannabis and Cheese Curls."

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Human shish kabob hijack thwarted
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"A Brazilian shish kebab vendor threatened to set himself on fire with gasoline and storm the cockpit of an airliner over Brazil yesterday before being subdued by passengers and the crew, the airline said... Marta Goulart slapped a lighter out of Lacerda's hands while he threatened to set himself on fire. "We were all half asleep when I suddenly saw him pouring gasoline into the toilet and over his body, saying that he wanted to set himself on fire and die."

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The gang-banger girls of El Salvador
Observer | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"'I was with my homies and we saw one of the MS scum who had killed my homegirl,' Helen recalls. 'I stuck this knife into his back and he fell. We kicked him and crushed his head with a brick. Then we pushed his body into a ditch. I was covered in blood. Revenge is sweet,' she said. Her friends smiled... Melda dreams of becoming a beautician. But the year long course costs $20 a month, a fortune. She says she has killed too: 'I was on the bus in Soyapango. A girl got on and made an MS sign to me. I plunged a knife into her heart.'"

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Killed yourself? Blame someone else
Wire Services | Submitted by: espace
The parents of a Massachusetts Institute of Technology student who died as he took laughing gas on campus have sued the university, claiming it should have acted to stop drug abuse in its dormitories. The suit acknowledges that 'Richard was not blameless in this tragedy,' and said that prior to 1999 Guy 'had engaged in experimental drug use, and had sought treatment from MIT's medical and health service staff for this problem.'"

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Italian supreme court OK's the butt pat
The Scotsman | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The country’s highest court of appeal, the Corte di Cassazione, has ruled that patting a woman's bottom does not constitute sexual molestation if it is a "one-off" gesture carried out on the spur of the moment... Mina di Pavia, 32, a computer sales executive from Milan, added: "I'm not a puritan, but if any colleague tried that I'd kill him. Making a joke of equality of the sexes is, it appears, condoned by the law."

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We all scream for ice cream
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: fredbox
Especially when the end result is prison rape. What takes more balls than selling ice cream to Alaskans in the winter? Why, robbing an Alaskan ice cream store, of course. "Let's just say it wasn't the most brilliant idea, and it only got worse from there."

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He just wanted a license plate, man
Wire Services | Submitted by: tex-in-ohio
"An ex-Marine pleaded not guilty Wednesday to impersonating a war hero decorated with some of the Navy's highest medals for valor. Paul Alan White, 47, of Houston was indicted Tuesday on five counts of impersonating a decorated U.S. Marine Corps chief warrant officer III and forging a document to receive a license plate reserved for veterans who have received some of the highest medals for bravery."

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Lawsuit settlement paid in pennies
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"To settle a court-ordered tab of $1,853.87, the president of Landtech, a surveying company, dug into his pocket for an extra $1,000 to finance an elaborate prank on his former landlord, Powerhouse Gym. Mokanyk hired a delivery crew with a truck and forklift to deliver 74 14-pound boxes of pennies - 185,387 pennies - to Powerhouse Gym."

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Pope to Italians: Let the breeding commence
Ireland Online | Submitted by: anonymous
"The Pope has urged Italians to have more children to reverse the country's declining birth rate. In a historic speech before the Italian parliament in Rome, John Paul emphasis what he called 'the crisis of the birth rate'... The Pope called the situation 'another grave threat that bears upon the future of this country, one which is already conditioning its life and its capacity for development.'"

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Bizarre accident kills 95 year old woman
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Denise
"An investigation is underway after the bizarre death of a woman at a nursing home. That 95-year-old woman died after her head got stuck between the mattress and the bed railing... Investigators say Hamil's head was in an eight inch gap between the mattress and the bed railing. It was a gap that should not have been there."

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Happening again: Bill could jail hackers for life
MSNBC | Submitted by: Dbag
"During closed door negotiations before the debate began, the House Republican leadership inserted the 16-page Cyber Security Enhancement Act (CSEA) into the Homeland Security bill. CSEA expands the ability of police to conduct Internet or telephone eavesdropping without first obtaining a court order, and offers Internet providers more latitude to disclose information to police."

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Miami cops are Vigilantes
Miami Herald | Submitted by: motrinwoman
"In dozens of shootings since 1990, city of Miami police officers have shot unarmed people in the back, fired wildly at fleeing cars, and shot indiscriminately even when it put innocent lives at risk, a Miami Herald review of every bullet fired by officers shows."

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Toilet seats washed in dishwasher
Wire Services | Submitted by: The Good Doctor
"A customer in an international hamburger chain outlet in western Sweden lost his appetite when he discovered the restaurant's toilet seats were being washed in its dishwasher alongside the kitchen utensils."

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