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November 07, 2002

Santa charged with killing daughter
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"In Warren, Mich., a man known for dressing up as Santa Claus is facing a murder charge. Authorities say 65-year-old Frederick Kaercher stabbed his daughter to death in an argument, over Christmas decorations. 31 year old Monica Kaercher died Tuesday from a neck wound."

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Military demanding names of children
Mother Jones | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Disturbing article about a provision of the No Child Left Behind Act, which forces public secondary schools to give military recruiters the names and addresses of attending students or get their federal aid cut. An act that lives up to its title.

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Betty Ford Liquor
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: Ogle
"An international furore is threatening to erupt around a planned Wanaka bottle store to be named 'Betty Ford Liquor'. Cow Lane Liquor has been selling t-shirts with Betty Ford Clinic printed on the front, and Cow Lane Liquor on the back." Some busybody has narc'd out to Betty Ford herself.

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Ten Little Ethnics
Montgomery County Gazette | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
A school if facing flack for putting on a simple Agatha Christie play: "The novel, first published in England, has had several titles since it was originally published in 1939, including Ten Little Niggers, in reference to an old nursery rhyme, and And Then There Were None, according to Encyclopedia Britannica. In 1940, it was published in America under the title Ten Little Indians."

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London's gerontophile rapist
London News Shopper | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Detectives believe the man, known as a gerontophile, could be responsible for up to 80 offences stretching back as far as 1988... A particularly nasty attack on an 88 year old woman in Orpington in 1988 left her with a perforated bowel... He dresses in black, maybe in a catsuit, and wears a balaclava and gloves."

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Eleven cats and 171 dogs stuffed into a semi
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"U.S. customs agents working in the cold Halloween night at the Canada Montana border thought something was amiss when they saw frozen urine caked to the outside of a 40-foot semi trailer. Then they heard the yapping of dogs. When officers poked their flashlights inside, they found 11 cats and 171 dogs packed in crates and up to 4 inches deep in their own waste, according to Montana's Toole County sheriffs."

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Steal this T-shirt
Wire Services | Submitted by: Rashamon
"Sales of the "Free Winona" T-shirt that has become a cult hit in the 10 months since Ryder's arrest for shoplifting, have surged since her trial began last week, according to its creator, Los Angeles boutique owner Billy Tsangares. When Tsangares finally met Ryder in court on Monday, introduced to the actress by her father, she gave him a hug and told him she owns both a "Free Winona" T-shirt and a tote bag."

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Rowling's not potty for Potter parody
Moscow Times | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
Harry Potter author Rowlings lifted ideas and names from another less talented author, Nancy Stouffer. And Rowlings successfully defended her actions in a plagiarism suit. But now, when a Russian author writes a similar book (but without actually stealing names), Rowlings cries plagiarism and is threatening mystical, magical court action.

Read article... and This article...

Vodka, fried chicken and mother's corpse
Independent Online | Submitted by: hobitch
"Lourens Geyer gave his ex-girlfriend some Smirnoff Ice to drink to "cool down", only metres from his mother's mutilated, naked corpse. And when Lauren Dorey, 21, protested against having to be in the presence of Auriol Geyer's blood-spattered body, Geyer drove her to a nearby Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet and bought her supper." How romantic!

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Convicted spy becomes prisoner #007
Sun | Submitted by: chompson
"As he was searched and issued with his uniform at Belmarsh, South East London, the prison computer trotted out his new identity: HP6 007. Warders burst out laughing at the bizarre coincidence, and even Shayler, 36, smiled." Shayler wasn't spying for a foreign power, but an English newspaper.

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Squirrel's reign of terror ends
BBC | Submitted by: Chris Hansen
"Two-year-old Kelsi was attacked as she took a morning stroll with her mother. She stopped to admire the squirrel before it pounced on her face and sank its teeth into her forehead." Her grandfather shot it. Also we note, squirrels spin when you shoot them.

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Haemorrhoid makes court appearance
News 24 South Africa | Submitted by: Wabbleflap
"When Shabbas Hammond told the High Court his pile problem was excruciating, the judge ordered that a special haemorrhoid cushion be brought in to come to his rescue. Now he can face double-murder charges in relative comfort."

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No more bedpans for cabbies
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: Bammer
"Taxi drivers at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport have reached an agreement with officials that lets cabbies take restroom breaks without losing their place in the taxi queue." Regulators gone amok. They charge exhorbitant fees, won't allow cabbies to piss and are considering increasing cabs to worsen matters. They might allow advertising in cabs... If the cut to the commision is high enough.

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Free divorce up for charity auction
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: bruce
Waiting for the "get out of jail free card" charity auction.

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Big Brother lets you know he's watching
Wired | Submitted by: Cow Tipper
Not content to just have their CCTV cameras everywhere, London's mass transit now is being sure everyone knows they're being watched. "The posters show a red double-decker bus crossing a bridge as four floating eyes stare down from the sky. The eyes' pupils are the symbol of Transport For London, the city's mass-transit provider. 'I thought it was a powerful piece of political satire from a disruptive citizen's group, but then it dawned on me that they were real... It's acutely disturbing.'"

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Bubonic Plague strikes NYC
CNN | Submitted by: Mikya
Show us your buboes: "A New Mexico couple who traveled to New York have been hospitalized with what is believed to be the first case of bubonic plague in the city in a century, said health officials... Frieden cautioned New Yorkers not to be alarmed by the news. Bubonic plague "does not spread from person to person," he said." Mmm hmm.

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Avian pilots spread bioterror in park
Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle | Submitted by: MultiHatter
"The park that commemorates the deaths of 248 soldiers in a 1985 plane crash off Gander, Newfoundland, has been infested with histoplasmosis spores, a potentially fatal fungus caused by excessive bird droppings. In the meantime, the Christian County Health Department has maintained a quarantine on three acres contaminated in the park."

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We are family
The Olympian | Submitted by: nordridge
"A former PTA president was convicted Wednesday of providing alcohol, hiring a stripper and allowing drugs at a birthday party in April for her 16 year old son and his friends... [The stripper said the mother] asked her to come dressed as a police officer."

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Be on the lookout for exploding razors
Bennington Banner | Submitted by: GloveMan
"An electric razor purchased locally and rigged to explode injured a Johnsonville, N.Y. man last month after he plugged it in, Rensselaer County Sheriff Daniel Keating reported. A similar razor exploded in Troy, N.Y. in March, causing severe shrapnel wounds to the face of a student. Police say the exploding razors were improvised bombs deliberately wired to blow up when they were plugged in."

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Earthquake was just part of the show
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: fredbox
"A couple visiting an earthquake simulator in Anchorage were unaware that a 7.9 magnitude earthqake was the real thing, and not part of the show. "Apparently there are two simulations. We had three."

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Novel weight loss program
Independent Online | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Yeah, but where'd he go to the bathroom: "A man who fell into a 25m deep well survived for 37 days in the hole by drinking rain water, according to media reports on Wednesday. Ailton de Souza, 30, lost more than 30kg before he was saved by a passing livestock herder."

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Upmarket greengrocer stocks magic mushrooms
Independent Online | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
I might just move there: "When it comes to hallucinogenic mushrooms, a Dutch high court has just ruled that fresh is fine but dried is not, in a decision that again upholds the country's reputation for tolerance towards drug use. The ruling affects produce on sale in the Netherland's "smart shops", dozens of boutiques that sell magic mushrooms for customers looking for a legal high. "The United Nations has ruled that animals and plants cannot be classified as psychotropic drugs," said solicitor Ellen van der Plas." Someone tell the DEA.

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Sloppy socks now okay, says NFL
WXIA-TV 11 Atlanta | Submitted by: Incubus
"The National Football League has rescinded the $5,000 fine on Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick for wearing sloppy socks. Vick was fined for showing too much red undersocks and not enough white oversocks in a game against New Orleans on Oct. 27." One has to wonder what would happen if they started checking jock straps.

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Ashes to ashes
Manchester Online | Submitted by: english dave
"A widow had to pay an airline nearly 300 after her husband's ashes were classed as excess baggage... Malaysian Airlines had allowed Teresa 30kg excess baggage after she told them several days before her return flight that Jeff had died and she had to return with his cases as well as her own."

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