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November 05, 2002

Winnie the Pooh implicated in rape of woman
Durango Herald | Submitted by: trickcoyote
"A Fort Lewis College student was sexually assaulted near a large Halloween party early Friday morning by a man dressed as Winnie the Pooh. The La Plata County Sheriff’s Office said the woman was asleep in a green Ford Focus in the 6500 block of Florida Road, just past Edgemont Ranch, when the attack occurred about 12:30 a.m."

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Detroit is #1!
Detroit News | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
Detroit now how has more to celebrate than just Eminem, Ted Nugent, and Devil's Night: "The city ranked first in the nation for new syphilis cases for 2001, the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported Thursday. Detroit and Wayne County also topped the list of counties and cities that accounted for at least half of the nation's new syphilis cases last year, with 379 cases reported locally. Of that total, 351 cases were in Detroit."

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He doesn't look at all dangerous
WXYZ-TV 7 Detroit | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
The kicker is of course the photo. "Detroit Police captured a man who they believe is responsible for a series of stabbings. Six people were attacked on both sides of 8 Mile Road and one of them was murdered. Police are still looking for a motive and say the suspect may have known one of the six people stabbed."

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Shit more popular then technology
Advertising Age | Submitted by: sklba
"A case of the law of large numbers coming into play? Hardly. In a neighborhood of 200 homes, only one on average has a TiVo. More U.S. homes have outhouses, 671,000, than TiVos, 514,000." Microsoft seems to think TiVo's business model is broken, after it tried to adopt the same model for itself. But oddly they continue with their Xbox.

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The Fellowship of the Dweebs
Wire Services | Submitted by: The Kung Fu Magician
In Norway, around 800 virgins gathered to wait in line to buy tickets for the next Lord of the Rings movie. Unlike those uber-geeky Star Wars lines, though, the first guys there are in fan-made hobbit houses, with everyone else in tents fashioned to look the same. They're all in costume, too, and plan to embark on a trecherous journey across the street to buy the tickets when the time comes. Unfortunately, there are no pictures, but if you close your eyes and imagine a Star Trek convention with swords, you'll get the general idea.

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Posh Spice sues football club over nickname
Football 365 | Submitted by: Gareth Winchester
Posh Spice is trying to distance herself from her nickname, asking people not to use it. But then she sues a football team who has used the nickname Posh since the 1920's, demanding their trademark not be granted.

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Tonga's get rich quick schemes
Guardian | Submitted by: Wallace D. Fard
The government of Tonga is apparently an "easy mark": "Worse still was a proposal from a Korean Christian cult to invest in a bogus scheme to turn seawater into natural gas, which depended on a miracle machine that would achieve the chemically impossible feat of extracting a gallon of natural gas from every five gallons of sea water."

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Crime: A Family Affair
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Corehead
Twin teen girls accused of robbing a bank... Mom accused of driving the getaway car... and step-dad accused of spending the loot.

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Secret American space planes to dominate Earth
Pravda | Submitted by: anonymous
Half of the Rotten Staff wants to start writing for Pravda now: "In the beginning of the 1990s, Russian intelligence uncovered the fact that the USA was testing a super-secret plane at one of its airbases. Russian agents attempted to see the new object with their own eyes and take pictures of it, but all attempts failed. The Americans provided incredible security for their secret weapon, and they tested the plane only at night. However, Russian agents managed to get some information about the new plane, which the USA calls Aurora, in honor of the Goddess of the Dawn."

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What the butler saw
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Jeeves
Princess Diana's former butler spills all, telling us how Diana befriended prostitutes in the rain, smuggled men into Kensington Palace, and acquired pornography for fifteen year old Prince William.

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Riot sparked by tit flashers
WISN-TV 12 Milwaukee | Submitted by: meatload
Police believe they've identified the trigger that sparked the scenes of chaos and beer bottles sailing through State Street taverns' windows. Police said Monday that young women put young men, who police say were very drunk, into a frenzy. "Women who, uh, would flash, uh, you know, uh, various body parts to the crowd," said Lt. Bill Housley.

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Masturbation rubs Egypt up the wrong way
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Cleopatra
"An Egyptian satellite channel has been reprimanded after a programme discussed female masturbation "provocatively", and caused an uproar in the conservative Arab country."

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Bus driver undaunted by happy drunk
Manchester Online | Submitted by: meatload
"A bus driver did not slow down before he ploughed into a drunken man who was singing and waving his arms in the middle of a road, a court heard. At the last moment, Mr Robinson, 22, tried to move, but it was too late and he was flung 20 metres by the bus. The tragedy was captured on CCTV in Yorkshire Street, Oldham town centre, Manchester Crown Court was told."

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Bike trail draws Darwin award candidates
Washington Times | Submitted by: meatload
"Guidebooks bill the single-lane dirt road as the world's most dangerous highway. What is a deathtrap for Bolivians has become one of this nation's hottest tourist attractions for adventurous and athletic cyclists. "It's a thrill, especially for young boys looking for bragging rights," said Karin Gembus of Gravity Assisted Mountain Biking. "It's dangerous because there are buses falling off the road..." she said."

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Call today for your free crack pipe
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: meatload
"The aim of the glass pipe give-away is to encourage addicts to stop injecting cocaine and smoke it instead. Mallory admitted there's no evidence that giving out free crack pipes cuts down on disease, but that doctors and even the provincial health officer support the idea. Before the volunteers give out the pipes, they screen the users to make sure they are already addicts."

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Moshing to the oldies
Newsweek | Submitted by: optional
"For the next 90 minutes the tattooed giant, two instructors and 21 other seemingly hung-over students will do moves called the Skank, the Teenage Kix and the Air Guitar. They’ll use bricks for weights and even form a mosh pit at the high end of the cardio pump, all to the music of Black Flag, the Stooges and the Sex Pistols."

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Hollywood blacklist has whole new meaning
Salon | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Since filming of the movie "Gang Tapes" ended, four of its five stars have landed in trouble with the law, primarily for armed robbery. Another cast member couldn't make it to the premiere because he was in jail... Magic Johnson Theaters failed to return phone calls to comment on its rejection; other movie theaters did not explicitly cite violence as the reason they passed on "Gang Tapes." But as Kitt puts it, "No one is going to advertise those kinds of decisions. No one will come out and say that."

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Are we using the worst voting procedure
Science News | Submitted by: Hellboy
"In elections with only two candidates, plurality voting works just fine, since the winner is guaranteed to have been the top choice of more than half the voters. But as soon as three or more candidates are on the ballot, the system can run into trouble."

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Superbimbo to the rescue
ABC News | Submitted by: Hugh Douche
"I protect the single girl living in the big city. I do this because women are weak. They are easily manipulated, and they need to be protected from themselves and most certainly from men and their ill intentions toward them... I have to act in the most extreme situations. I'm on the front lines, in the danger zone, in the wee hours of the night."

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Always tip your cab driver
Aftenposten | Submitted by: Bo Raxo
Not clear why this Norweigan cab driver ran over his fare after dropping him off, killing the man. When police figured out it had to be a cab that hit him, they asked the driver of the death cab to voluntarily step forward. Nobody did, but since the dead guy had paid for his fare with an ATM card it didn't take long to find the dangerous hack.

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Tom Petty is pissed
Rolling Stone | Submitted by: Macki
"I don't really give a flying fuck about any of it. I've tuned out. But I was elated when my song was banned. I mean, nothing could have complimented me more than to hear they just banned it at such-and-such a station because it's anti-radio. Now, in 2002 to have a song banned that doesn't have a dirty word, doesn't advocate violence, it's fascinating, you know. Like, what are you afraid of? No record has ever been made that was more pro-radio, you know."

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