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October 28, 2002

Police taser teen for five bucks
The Indy Channel | Submitted by: Cow Tipper
"He offered me $5 if I'd let him shock me with it. At first I was like, 'No, that will hurt.' And then I was like, 'Yeah, I'll do it.'" He was like, 'Are you sure?' I said, 'Yeah, do it.' And then he did it," Hindon said. "Some of the other kids were saying that the officer would put a $100 bill at their feet, and if they could reach down and pick it up before he hit him with that, they could have it."

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Batman gets five years
BBC | Submitted by: Monkeynavigated
"Gordon [not the Commissioner by the same name] repeatedly stamped on Mr Perry's head after the victim was hit to the ground by a man who has never been traced. Witnesses described "jets of blood several inches long" spurting from Mr Perry's face. Mr Perry underwent surgery to repair facial fractures after the incident."

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Inmate flees after drinks in bar with jailguard
Philippines Star | Submitted by: wingnut
"An inmate here escaped while having a drinking spree with a fellow inmate and a jail guard early this week at a beer joint in Solano town, about 5 km from here where the escapee was being detained. Banatlao slipped from his jail escort through the barís backdoor while Cutaran and Gacayan were drinking and singing." Good thing they weren't doing shooters.

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Thai drug hits California rave scene
Canadian Press | Submitted by: The Beaver
A new tablet version of Meth made in Thailand, its flavored and colored to make it seem harmless. Its called "Ya Ba" which means crazy drug in Thai. It is being passed off as ecstasy, except the effects are much worse (you think bugs are crawling under your skin) and it lasts for days. Blah blah, typical anti-drug piece.

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Freedom and death to theatre of blood
Observer | Submitted by: RedBeagle
A good summary of the storming of the Moscow theatre: "For the young women who are the new face of Chechen terrorism, the end came swiftly and savagely. The black-clad guerrillas were put to sleep and paralysed by a gas attack. Then the Russian crack troops came up through the drains and executed the women one by one in cold blood with single point-blank shots to the temple."

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Teen upset over being called a bad driver
KOCO-TV 5 Oklahoma City | Submitted by: meatload
"A teenager apparently upset by complaints about his driving shot four neighbors, including a 2 year old girl, then went on a 20-mile shooting spree, apparently targeting people at random, police said. Authorities hadn't determined a motive... but police said they believed Fears became angry when a neighbor scolded him for driving recklessly in the middle class neighborhood."

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Fayed, owner of Harrod's, lies about schooling
Observer | Submitted by: DroelNoel
"Armand Khahill, its long-time secretary, said he was dumbstruck when he received the call, not least because it was he who appeared on ITN in 1988, to reject publicly Fayed's claim in Britain that he had attended Victoria College." Victoria College is an elite British styled school run in Alexandria Egypt, graduates including Omar Sharif.

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Russian photo of hostage takers
Wire Services | Submitted by: meatload
Snapshot from Russian television showing several of the Chechen she-terrorists, after having been summarily shot in the temple during the retaking of the theater in Moscow.

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Man keeps amputated leg as momento
News Corporation | Submitted by: Chief Snogger
Anyone for an oversized good luck charm? Just because you had it amputated, doesn't mean that you have to throw it away: "Auckland police officers thought they were dealing with a grisly murder when they arrived at a central Auckland address to find a severed human leg hanging outside the back door, the New Zealand Herald reports." No crime here, move along folks.

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Life drained from brothel worker's little honey
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: Wolfform
"We found the daughter's body in a six tatami mat room. It was lying face-up on a futon and covered in a blanket. Parts of her body had already rotted and turned black as though they were burned and maggots were crawling all over her body. The maggots had even made their way into her sunken eye sockets. The smell of the room was so bad, it was almost impossible to breathe." Fifty year old Mommy has been arrested, though she was thoroughly unable to even care for herself.

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A call to arms for Scottish men
Glasgow Sunday Herald | Submitted by: I.P. TeAitchsee
"It was initially thought the declining number of people living in Scotland would fall below that psychologically crucial level in 2018. But new projections from the government's official statistician show there are 50,000 fewer people in Scotland than previously thought, and so the country will fall beneath that mark only eight years from now."

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Small dicked men worry more as they age
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Wiener
"Those aged 35 to 44 are most likely to worry, and a significant 26 percent of those over 65 admit to being less than happy with their organ. The poll said 77 percent were happy with the size of their penis. Twenty three percent were not. It means almost one in four men is unhappy with the size of his penis."

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Soon: Australian Islamic Superstate
News Corporation | Submitted by: worldwadeweb
"The Indonesian terrorist group Jemaah Islamiah has targeted northern Australia to form part of an Asian Islamic superstate, according to a secret intelligence report." Is this a serious threat, or right wing propaganda? It is no wonder the average Aussie is so paranoid about refugee laden boats.

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Man maintained his mother as a Mummy
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: O-no
Police were summoned to a home in southern Japan to investigate a weird odour, and discovered a mummified body wrapped in a white cloth in the living room... An autopsy is under way to determine the cause of death, but there were no visible scars on her body."

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And this one's juuuuust right
Juneau Empire | Submitted by: fredbox
"While he was in the bathroom I could hear [the bear] getting into the shower stall and wiggling around and then I heard him drink out of the toilet. And after he was done drinking out of the toilet, he wiggled into the shower some more and turned on the shower. Later on, when I had gone in after he left the house, I realized he wiped his face on my husband's bathrobe."

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Realtank, a sexy inflatable armament
BBC | Submitted by: koush
"Army chiefs are asking citizens to keep an eye out for an inflatable tank which was blown away in the strong gales which battered the UK over the weekend. The inflatable, life-size dummy tank was moored to the ground during a training exercise near Tredegar, south Wales."

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Show your cabooses to Amtrak's cabooses
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: The Good Doctor
"There's a spot in South County where you can live on a $5 million equestrian estate, buy a new Mercedes-Benz and drop your drawers in front of a passing Amtrak without the slightest bit of condemnation from friends or authorities. Fact. Welcome to the neighborhood, pal."

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Moron microwaves pot with cop around
WTVC-TV 9 Chattanooga | Submitted by: f00f
"But police say Rudy Raines went inside, saw Officer David Ashley, spoke to him for a moment, then went right over to the microwave oven. And yes, he put his stash into the oven, turned up the heat, and filled the store with the aroma of marijuana." Arrests followed.

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Scouts earn severed head merit badge
Hudston Star-Observer | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"A severed head found inside a garbage bag by Boy Scouts in the town of Somerset has opened a homicide investigation for the St. Croix County Sheriff's Department... Hillstead guessed that the head could have been dropped off between two months and a year ago ruling out any theory that it belonged to an ancient culture."

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Legendary convict survived using buddy system
The Age | Submitted by: meatload
"Alexander Pearce and seven other convicts had escaped from the prison settlement of Sarah Island, in Macquarie Harbour on the west coast of Tasmania, the most remote penal hellhole in the British Empire. As the [escape] journey continued, one by one, the weakest man was killed with an axe and butchered to provide food for the others. But the problem with human flesh is that, while rich in protein, it never really satisfies hunger because of the lack of carbohydrates, which provide energy. That is why the men had to kill so regularly."

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Pot Politics
Time | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Very long Time article about medical and recreational marijuana advocates versus the government establishment, but worth the read, if your attention span is long enough: "The feds dragged the farm's owners, who were legally growing pot under California law, to a federal building in San Jose for breaking federal law and held a paraplegic resident at the farm for hours. "I opened my eyes to see five federal agents pointing assault rifles at my head. 'Get your hands over your head. Get up. Get up.' I took the respirator off my face, and I explained to them that I'm paralyzed."

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Super-lice on the increase
Inland Valley Daily Bulletin | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Headlice are becoming resistant to the DDT-laced shampoos that have been used for years on infected schoolchildern. Also scientists are confused as to why a louse would leave a host's head: "They lay their eggs there, they raise their kids there and they eat there. They're happy."

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