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October 11, 2002

Dad hires call girl, gets daughter, heart attack
BBC | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"An Israeli man suffered a heart attack when he summoned a call-girl to his hotel room and opened the door to his daughter, a newspaper reported on Thursday." [It does sound like an incipient urban legend, but stranger things have happened.]

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Fertilizing with Fido
Tiffin Advertiser-Tribune | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Once the new facility is complete, the county will dispose of dead dogs, cats and deer, not by burning, but by letting them decompose and using the organic remains as compost... Once the bodies have decomposed, the remaining organic matter is to be used for fertilizer for the county farm, which is operated by Kingland Farms."

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NZ court rules against porn movie birth
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Trout
"She told the court, "It is increasingly common to videotape birth. The key difference here is the intention to shoot the film for pornographic purposes, not for personal or educational use," the Waikato Times newspaper reported. "The thought of a baby being in a porn movie is likely to be highly offensive to a person of normal sensibilities."

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Nastier Than They Ought To Be
Charleston Post and Courier | Submitted by: Orpyak
"A woman was forced onto a nightclub stage early Sunday, stripped naked and sexually assaulted with a beer bottle during a concert by rapper Luther Campbell. The woman, 23, told officers that she was forced onto the stage by the crowd and others and then stripped of her clothes. Two women bound her hands with a belt, forced her onto her back and then sexually assaulted her."

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Mad drunk Aussies with samurai swords
The Age | Submitted by: Matt
"Three Melbourne men have been jailed over an attack in which a young man's arm was almost cut through with a samurai sword during a clash between drunken young men... Twelve men were charged over the incident, with 11 pleading guilty to affray and intentionally causing serious injury."

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Treehugger didn't hug quite strong enough
News Corporation | Submitted by: george_lazenby
"A US activist fighting to save California's famed giant redwood trees has died after falling 30 metres from one of them. The young man plunged to his death while taking part in a tree-sitting protest against the logging of a redwood forest near the city of Santa Cruz, Earth First said today."

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Arborial dog mummy christened
Savannah Morning News | Submitted by: george_lazenby
"A mummified hound dog entombed in a hollow tree in rural Georgia was officially christened on Tuesday following a two month contest that garnered entries from across the South. "Our mummified dog shall be known as 'Stuckie' from this day forward," said Holly Beasley, executive director of Southern Forest World, a tiny, out-of-the-way museum in Waycross. "We have three winners, all from northeast Florida, who submitted that same name." Florida's proudest moment. Wish the picture were larger.

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Canadian pot business very very good
Vancouver Sun | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Does your job suck? Maybe it's time to move to Canada: "The underground business of growing marijuana has become so lucrative that brand new homes are being customized and purchased for the sole purpose of housing marijuana operations, Surrey RCMP officials said Tuesday... In some cases, houses worth hundreds of thousands of dollars are being purchased with "garbage bags full of cash," said Surrey RCMP Constable Tim Shields."

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Fun with noxious corpse fumes
Wire Services | Submitted by: BitterGirl
If one does decide to kill oneself, it's best to do so in the most annoying way possible: "Arrowe Park Hospital in Merseyside said the unit was shut after the body of 80-year old Sir Derek Bibby was brought in early on Wednesday evening... Sources at the hospital said it was likely the dead man had swallowed garden poison."

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Police incompetence, or one manly woman?
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"Four police officers were suspended for mistakenly placing a man and a woman in the same jail cell for seven hours. The man and woman acknowledged attempting to have sex twice, Chief Daniel Dubsky said... Willis was put into a cell with the jailís only other prisoner, a woman, Dubsky said. The pair remained locked up together until breakfast was brought about 9 a.m."

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Viagra failure prompts child molestation
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"When Viagra failed, a 65-year-old Morrow man tried to arouse his sexual urges with two girls, 10 and 11, under his wife's care, a prosecutor said... On Thursday, both girls described how Laseur "did nasty things" to them after locking out of his home younger children also left in his care while his wife ran errands. They also testified that Laseur sexually abused them on trips and while swimming."

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Slack, jerk off, make art
Guardian | Submitted by: McBain
"He paid some east European female prostitutes to assume various sexual positions, missionary, doggy, and quite possibly several others. Then he wrapped their genitals in polyurethane. Later he exhibited the polyurethane in a gallery that was on the site of a former church."

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Union-busting under the Golden Arches
Corpwatch | Submitted by: meatload
"Members of the European Parliament are meeting with activists from seven countries to duscuss alleged union-busting worldwide by McDonalds. The experiences of McDonald's workers will be contrasted with the company's claim to being 'the best employer in each community around the world.' A watchdog group calls McDonalds' 'Corporate Responsibility' statement 'a blueprint for union-busting.'"

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Dumpster corpse found by garbage sorter
The Daily News | Submitted by: Gorg
"A worker found a body yesterday while poking through garbage dumped inside the sorting station at the Otter Lake landfill. The discovery came shortly after the conveyor belts started rumbling inside the sorting plant about 7 a.m. A load of garbage had just been dumped on the concrete floor at one of the plantís garage-bay doors."

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Elections chief filled jobs with inexperienced friends
South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"In the months before September's primary debacle, Broward County Elections Supervisor Miriam Oliphant filled her office's top jobs with friends and political associates who had virtually no experience running an election."I looked at qualifications," Oliphant said. "I looked for people who were college graduates and technologically smart. Some spoke different languages. I looked for diversity."

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A gay old time at Disney
MSNBC | Submitted by: ImMyself
"I looked around, trying to think of something nice to say about the new [and quite horrible, California Adventure]. But just then, something caught my eye: a woman wearing a bright red shirt with huge black letters that proclaimed, I LOVE MY GAY SISTER. Other women in red surrounded her. Behind them was a group of men, also clad in red." Disney scheduled the grand opening on Gay Day. D'oh.

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Business booming at old-style cathouses
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"In their effort to replicate the pleasures of old Edo these businesses, which feature kimono-clad cuties and other accouterments from the good old days, when men were men and women knew their place, are described using the defunct name "joro-ya" (whorehouses). And they appear to be booming."

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Darwin claims another student
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Atomic Skull
"Josh pulled the emergency hand brake on a moving car Tuesday evening and caused a crash that ended his life. "This is one of those unfortunate cases where someone did something without thinking ahead or realizing what the consequences could be," said California Highway Patrol Sgt. Max Hartley."

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At first you don't succeed, try and try again
New York Post | Submitted by: Marla Jones
"A New Jersey stroke victim's goddaughter and two grandsons are charged with trying to suffocate him and beat him with a hammer while trying to force him to cough up his bank-card PIN, cops say." It's a comedy of errors, what the kids do to this poor man.

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Wrong time, wrong place for quickie
Philadelphia Intelligencer | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Villafane and his girlfriend, Evelyn Torres, 24, were arrested in February after they pulled their car into the driveway off Ridge Road in West Rockhill around 7 a.m. Neighbors said they saw the couple having sex ON the automobile and called police. The pair was fully clothed when police arrived but the officers smelled a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside the car. They searched the vehicle and found more than 2 pounds of marijuana, worth about $11,000 on the street, in the back seat."

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Concrete mummy collected social security
Michigan Live | Submitted by: tiger
"It appears the victim died in bed on the second floor of 315 S. Jefferson, Lively said. Someone subsequently covered the person with a blanket, then poured the concrete over the body. Records show Smoot has continued to receive Social Security payments and someone has cashed the checks, authorities said."

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Beautiful Croyden
icSouthLondon | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"She says the vomit is so prolific that drunken revellers 'out of their heads' need only follow piles of sick that line the streets to find their way to the next pub or the cab office at the end of the night. Mrs Bartholomew told the Advertiser 'I am disgusted by the trail of puke surrounding our streets and residential roads... Our bin shed is used as a toilet and the car park here is used for sex and drug dealing. It's debauchery.'"

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Mr. Spock's nude photos not a big hit
Wire Services | Submitted by: Milk Bone
"The Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle has dropped Leonard Nimoy from its October 23 fund raiser because of images in the former "Star Trek" star's art photography book of naked and partially dressed women, some with Jewish ritual items... The cover for Nimoy's book, "Shekhina," shows a woman with her left arm wrapped in phylacteries, a prayer accessory men traditionally wear, and her right breast visible through a translucent garment."

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