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October 07, 2002

Belgian dies after filling house with booby-traps
The Scotsman | Submitted by: Gelal
"A Belgian man died of a gunshot wound after installing booby traps throughout his house, using hunting rifles and explosives, to keep out his children, police said yesterday. [Police had] yet to determine whether the man died from self-inflicted wounds or from setting off one of his own traps."

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Orchestra horrified at porn in CD titles
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: columbia
"Police and Internal Affairs are investigating how song titles on a promotional CD for the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra were replaced with excerpts from hard core pornographic texts... The orchestra was first alerted to the X-rated substitutions soon after the promotional CD was sent out to 8000 people as part of its marketing for the 2003 season."

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Miami: Poorest city in the nation, duh
Miami New Times | Submitted by: Neon
"When it comes to fame and glory for having produced world-class poverty, Miami is no overnight success. The recent distinction bestowed by the U.S. Census Bureau, Poorest Big City in America, was years in the making. According to census data and other research, Miami was showing precocious signs of degradation as far back as 1960. The next twenty years were so dynamic that by the 1980 census Miami had rocketed to near the top in national rankings of dirt-poor cities." Woo-Hoo. Home sweet home.

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Parade road rage
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Ron Bo
"The driver of a limousine carrying a candidate for state Assembly plowed into the three pedestrians at a parade in San Francisco's Chinatown on Saturday. The driver, Jeff Rubi, a.k.a. Jeff Cabrere, 44, was arrested and charged with attempted murder and driving under the influence, police said, adding that they believe he intentionally ran over the man and the two children, an 11-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl."

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Campus witch hunt site open for business
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Campus-watch was set up by Middle East Forum, a think tank, "to monitor the attitudes of American professors and universities toward Islamic fundamentalism". Fair enough. But what gave campus-watch instant notoriety was its posting extensive "dossiers" on eight dubious professors. Students were invited to "inform" on any other of their teachers who should join the treacherous octet."

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New homeowner finds 200 partiers at house
Sign On San Diego | Submitted by: Dave Edsel in KY
This guy buys a brand new house, closes on it, gets the keys, and leaves it at 7:40 PM. He returns 4 hours later and finds 100 cars in front of it and a DJ, 200 kids, etc, etc. "After he kicked everyone out of his house, Farfan said, he saw that the screens had been kicked from the windows, bottles and red plastic cups were scattered about, and there was blood splattered on the counter tops."

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Whites-only radio
New York Times | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"They listen to commentators discuss whether AIDS is the solution to 'the problem of black population growth.' They call in to defend white separatists accused of plotting to topple the black government. Many hearts soar when political analysts contemplate reclaiming South Africa, or at least a portion of it, for white Afrikaners."

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Traffic jam at school caused by kids' golf carts
AZ Central | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Is it any wonder why American kids are the fattest... "Kids in an upscale Georgia community aren't taking the bus to school or riding their bikes: they're driving golf carts. And the principal at McIntosh High School says all those carts are creating a traffic jam."

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Lunatics running the asylum
Sun | Submitted by: Aussie steve
"Social workers [at Rampton Medical Asylum] were stunned when they were told that as well as satisfying a selection panel they had to be approved by a group of sick detainees... One furious worker said: "Talk about the lunatics running the asylum. When we heard that applicants would have to be interviewed by the patients we thought someone was joking; then we realised it was true."

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Stuffed sheep stops motorists from speeding
The Scotsman | Submitted by: anonymous
A slow news day in Scotland: "Dave Hendry, a businessman, put the sheep outside his antiques shop in an attempt to draw in the customers. But cars racing through the village of Dinnet, Aberdeenshire, think it’s the real thing and slam on their brakes, fearing the animal is about to step on to the road."

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When Coupons Attack
Sharon Herald | Submitted by: Gunny Walker
"The women were injured after Winner properties shot $1,000 in real cash and $4,000 in "Shop Sharon" coupons out of an air cannon at 10 a.m. in front of the downtown clothing store. Winner properties, which include the store, the diner, and other Sharon businesses owned by James E. Winner Jr., planned to conduct the promotion every Saturday in October to drum up business and bring people downtown."

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Baby's 1st Ecstacy (Awwww....)
CNN | Submitted by: Dustin Prewitt
"The two-year-old daughter of film stars Jude Law and Sadie Frost was rushed to a London hospital after she swallowed part of an ecstasy tablet at a children's party, according to media reports... The child had been attending a children's party on Saturday where she was believed to have picked up a tablet that had been left on the floor of the premises on Old Compton Street. The premises had been used as a bar and nightclub on the Friday."

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Murderer manipulates Georgia legislators
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Incubus
An example of how corrupt Georgia could be: "A Fulton County prosecutor called Ronald Gaither's crime "one of the worst" he'd seen and said Gaither "should never be paroled." Prison wardens called the convicted murderer "manipulative," "a threat to public safety" and "an extreme escape risk." But in the nearly two decades Gaither has been in prison, some of Georgia's powerful political figures have gone to bat for him, including six legislators, at least one parole board member and two top corrections officials. Some pushed for his early release or a transfer to a lower security prison, even after he had escaped twice."

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Navy man's eyes damaged by Russian laser weapon
Washington Times | Submitted by: Walker LaRocke
A Naval Intelligence officer, wounded in his eyes by a Russian laser weapon in 1997, is going to trial against the shipping company that owned the Russian vessel. The Navy and Clinton Administration both refused to go public with the incident, which occured near Seattle, Washington, during an overflight of a Russian spy vessel, citing sensitive Russian relations.

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Playtime is OVER
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | Submitted by: Incubus
"American children don't really play much anymore. That's the somber assessment of a growing number of child development experts who are alarmed by the lack of time and interest devoted to unstructured child's play in modern American culture. "It's such a tragedy," said Jane Healy, a Colorado based psychologist. "Adults have really lost touch with the basic needs of the child. It's parenting as product development," she said. "Everything about children's lives these days seems to be so serious, and play looks like it's not valuable enough."

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Call of nature can get you an asskicking
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Incubus
"The rule, in case you haven't heard, is unique to Reagan National Airport. For the first half-hour after takeoff, or a half hour before landing, no one is allowed to stand up, much less move about the cabin. "That's when I turned around and saw the man in the brown slacks walking very briskly toward the front. What flew through my mind at the time was equal parts 'Oh, crap!' and 'Should I do something?' The guy in the row across from me must have been thinking the same thing because he unbuckled his belt and got ready to pounce. A half dozen passengers in first class were stirring as well."

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Motorcycle bum becomes Astronaut
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: anonymous
"As soon as Duane Carey sat down for his interview, the astronaut selection committee popped the question: What have you done since high school? Should he tell this roomful of strangers, hotshot astronauts and other NASA bigwigs, how he slept through high school because he was working 40 hours a week to save up for a motorcycle? How he hit the road on his new Suzuki as soon as he got his diploma and spent the next two and a half years bumming around? How he hitchhiked and jumped freight trains from state to state?"

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Beijing police do performance art
New Jersey Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
Cop Rock szechuan style: "The events began with music and dance numbers, including one by a dozen girls in scarlet mini skirts whose moves included grabbing their partners by the neck and shoving them toward the ground. A police choir sang and rock bands accompanied board-smashing demonstrations by officers wearing black flak jackets."

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The Fountain of Effluent
Evening News | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"A couple were horrified to discover a 20ft high "geyser" of raw sewage pouring into their garden after a burst pipe at a nearby pumping station... The fountain of effluent continued to spray into their back garden on Highfield Avenue for most of Saturday morning, leaving an unbearable stench and pieces of toilet paper poking through their fence."

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A crack pipe by any other name
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: Paul Sanders
An older article, still fun: "Addicts have found that these 4 inch long glass tubes with tiny fake roses make good crack pipes. They’re sold in many convenience stores across the nation, sometimes from a hidden cache behind the counter. He learned from addicts that they bought "crack kits" from convenience stores. He went to see for himself. For $8.50, Knowles says, store workers pulled out a brown bag with a 4-inch glass tube and some copper mesh."

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Miss Cleo for your hamster
Miami Herald | Submitted by: Penfold
"Professional interspecific telepathic communicators" are becoming ever popular with folks looking to speak to their four legged friends. The skill is not limited to dogs. These Doctor Dolittles say they can chat with your cat and relay messages straight from the horse's mouth. One woman said she used a fraud, er, animal psychic to convince palmetto bugs and sugar ants into leaving her house. We love the fact that they have a 1-900 number.

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Unpronounceable planet discovered
BBC | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"Quaoar, as it has been dubbed, is about 800 miles across and is the biggest find in the Solar System since Pluto itself 72 years ago." Although I have no idea how to pronounce it, Quaoar is named after a Native Amreican god that "came down from heaven; and, after reducing chaos to order, out the world on the back of seven giants. He then created the lower animals."

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