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September 27, 2002

Bingo takes another life
Wired | Submitted by: Soylent
"The hottest scandal in Vegas at the moment is the unraveling tale of a Reno software engineer who allegedly rigged electronic bingo machines in Las Vegas to allow himself to play many more cards than he had paid for. The programmer, Brett Keeton, 38, apparently killed himself Friday by leaping off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge after he realized he was the focus of a fraud investigation, gaming investigators say."

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Canadian necro feline scroto police scandal
Canadian Press | Submitted by: PANTS
"A police constable who partially exposed his genitals to show a female officer his scrotum ring was found guilty Thursday of two counts of discreditable conduct under the Police Act. The second charge of discreditable conduct came after Craig Galassi, 41, placed a dead cat on the hood of a colleague's truck."

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DC mayor admits speeding cameras are TAX
Washington Times | Submitted by: Soylent
Not about safety at all! "D.C. Mayor Anthony A. Williams yesterday said he wants to expand the use of traffic cameras because the city needs the money. 'The cameras are about safety and revenue, and the way not to pay that tax is to not be speeding,' Mr. Williams said."

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Christian cheerleaders suspended for worldliness
First Coast News | Submitted by: George Khristoforov
"Elena Mattison and two other girls were singing the song "Heaven," as part of the Sideline 2002 American Idol Night and were videotaped having fun. However, when the head pastor at Trinity saw the tape he told the girls that it was inappropriate and as Christians they should not have been singing a "worldly song."

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Casualties of Football
New York Times | Submitted by: Pilgrim
"After the players union expressed concerns that some of its members were dying prematurely, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health studied the medical records of more than 7,000 N.F.L. players who played in the league between 1959 and 1988. The study found that offensive and defensive linemen had a 52 percent greater risk of dying from heart disease than the general population; it also determined that linemen had three times the risk of dying from heart disease than other football players."

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Daily Cal on knees to apologize
Daily Californian | Submitted by: Goldenbear87
"We would like to express our deepest regret for a headline that inadvertently ran in yesterday's edition. Through a mistake and lack of oversight, the headline over the article said, "I'll Be Your Intern, Mr. Bush." The headline does not reflect anything written or said to the Daily Cal by Harper."

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Coming soon: Blind Australian pilots!
Australia Daily Telegraph | Submitted by: Ross
"The physically and mentally disabled may no longer be barred from becoming pilots or air traffic controllers. Eyesight and other medical tests imposed on flight crew have been found to be in breach of anti discrimination laws. The finding, by the [Australian] Federal Attorney General's Department has created fears air safety regulators will be hit with discrimination complaints."

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Tell us some more obvious, please
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"'Kids no longer need to drive to Lookout Point to have sex,' said Sarah Brown, director of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. 'The data suggest the adults may be in the house.'" The teen sex breakdown: "56 percent said they first had sex at their family's home or at the home of their partnerís family. An additional 12 percent first had sex at a friendís house, 9 percent at a teen's own home, 4 percent in a truck or car, 3 percent at a park or other outdoor place, and 3 percent at a hotel or motel. Ten percent said someplace else."

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French demonstrate air powered car
BBC | Submitted by: misfit
"Engineers in France believe they have come up with the answer that environmentalists and economists have spent years searching for: a commercially viable, 100% non-polluting car, which costs next to nothing to run... The car comes fitted with its own compressor so you can fill up at home. But that would take four hours. The company has developed the technology to refill the vehicle in three minutes, although there are no service station forecourts with the compressed air machines to do that yet."

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Federal NO FLY list catching peace activists
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: weird news hound
"A federal "No Fly" list, intended to keep terrorists from boarding planes, is snaring peace activists at San Francisco International and other U. S. airports, triggering complaints that civil liberties are being trampled. And while several federal agencies acknowledge that they contribute names to the congressionally mandated list, none of them, when contacted by The Chronicle, could or would say which agency is responsible for managing the list."

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Wendy's bacon cheese sparks matricide
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"Twin teenage brothers told police in March that they planned with their 21 year old brother to kill their mother by strangling her after she complained about not getting a Wendyís bacon cheeseburger. 'We were all so sick of it,' Christopher Lee Sullivan wrote about his mother's screaming fits in a statement to police the morning after his motherís death March 18." Long article detailing the murder in all its glory.

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Shoe bomber explosives found on flight
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: Gorg
"Explosives of the same type as found on alleged shoe bomber Richard Reid were discovered on a Moroccan jet after passengers left the flight at an airport in eastern France, authorities said Thursday. There was no detonator attached to the 3Ĺ ounces of explosives discovered in the passenger section of a Royal Air Maroc airplane on Wednesday night after it landed at the Metz-Nancy-Lorraine airport, according to police."

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Celebrating 150 years down the crapper
Wire Services | Submitted by: Taleya
"Proud of the past but embarrassed by the present, Britain marked the 150th anniversary of its public toilets Wednesday. Bearing the shield, helmet and trident of the national symbol Britannia, model Michelle Liebetrau laid a giant penny against the railings of a subterranean loo in central London, near the spot on Fleet Street where Britain's first public toilet opened in 1852."

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Nickelback 0, Portugal 1
Canoe | Submitted by: Taleya
"Footage shows frontman Chad Kroeger being showered by a water bottle, and immediately asking the crowd afterwards: "Are there any Nickelback fans in Portugal?" After the audience lets out a dull roar, Kroeger asks "Are you sure? It's up to you, do you want to hear some rock n' roll or do you want to go home?" The response was a rock thrown into the back of Kroeger's head."

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Mad science yields pigs teeth in rats intestines
The Scotsman | Submitted by: anonymous
"The American team took genetically seeded cells from six month old pigs' teeth and placed them in the intestines of rats. Within 30 weeks, recognisable tooth crowns containing enamel and dentine, a bonelike material found under the enamel, had formed."

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Overfaith leaves Christian with brain damage
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: angie_au
"The court was told by Ms Daly's lawyer that the Sydney Christian Life Centre had been negligent in failing to ensure there were enough "catchers", people appointed by the church to cushion the fall of those experiencing what is referred to within the Pentecostal movement as being "slain in the spirit."

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Darkroom pics from university party in Brazil
GLOBO | Submitted by: Zaatxe
In a traditional university party, promoted by the students of the business school of Getulio Vargas University, several couples where photographed in "intimate moments" in the dark rooms specially mounted for that. Interesting detail: on the doors of these dark rooms there were signs written "smile, you are being filmed", a very common sign we see in stores with security cameras. Article in Portuguese, but everyone can appreciate the pictures.

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Mother shoots son out of tree with BB gun
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A woman tried to force her 10 year old son out of a magnolia tree by shooting the boy with a BB gun, police said. Tanya Collins was charged Wednesday with child abuse for the incident, which left a mark on her son's forearm, according to a Pasco County sheriff's report. Tanya Collins said her son, Casey, went up a 25-foot tree on August 14 after she told him they were going to the store for milk and bread."

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French dwarf tossing ban upheld
BBC | Submitted by: z0rak187
The United Nations has banned dwarf tossing, in favor of "human dignity" and leaving the dwarf who appealed the French law jobless. "Mr Wackenheim appealed against the French ban, but when this failed, he took his complaint before the UN's Human Rights and Anti Discriminational Committee, claiming that his rights had been violated."

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Saddam using three body doubles
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
"Saddam Hussein as used at least three men as doubles for public appearances over the last four years, a German forensic pathologist said today. Dr Dieter Buhmann said that, using new technology, he examined 450 images of people purporting to be the Iraqi dictator from videos of public appearances and was able to determine without a doubt that the Iraqi leader is not always what he seems."

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Spike Lee responsible for Lindh?
New York Post | Submitted by: z0rak187
While none of Spike Lee's movies have been terribly interesting, at least one person saw "Malcolm X" and was moved to convert to Islam. Who you ask? None other than the The terrorist who wold be king himself, Johnny Walker Lindh! Quoth his lawyer "What enthralled Lindh was the final scene of the flick in which thousands of Muslims make their pilgrimage to Mecca to pray at the Great Mosque... When he talks about that last scene, his face still lights up." When all else fails, blame avant garde pretentious quasi-independent filmmakers.

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Advertising industry down one ball
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"What could possibly send the ad business, an industry full of liberal, ironic souls who don't shock easily, into such a tizzy? A missing testicle, that's what. The three-quarter-page colour ad depicts a man from the waist down, wearing only a pair of white boxer shorts. In the vicinity of his left testicle is a prominent red stain. The man is clutching a first aid kit, having presumably just performed auto-surgery. The copy, playing on a locker room joke, reads: "What would you give to win one?"

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Fiddling while Insurance burns
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Son of Benway
HIH Insurance threw lavish award-winning Christmas parties for its staff, spending more than $1 million on soirees a little over a year before its $5.3 billion collapse... HIH's 800 Christmas party guests were ferried to the venue at a transport cost of $83 a head, then entered the party through a time tunnel to discover "an exotic space experience which transported guests into the new millennium. The decor featured space mannequins, rockets, spaceships and aliens."

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Thief robs jewels with a vacuum cleaner
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
"Armed with a vacuum cleaner and an extension cord, a thief drilled a small hole in a Danish jewellery shop window and sucked out goods worth more than EU 12,000 without setting off the alarm."

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Bomb thy neighbor
Canoe | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"It started out as nothing at all, just a couple of neighbours sniping at each other about a barking dog and a barbecue pit... One day in late '98, Smith returned home with his two sons from a visit with their mother. He found one of his garbage cans overturned, and something else, a milk carton lying underneath one of the wheels of his trailer. "It felt empty... and then I hear this loud 'pop,' and I'm on my knees." Stubs of bone jutted out from the stump, what was left of his fingers were fused by the skin to his forearm. There was a stench in the air he still can't describe."

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A pumpkin cannot consent
Zwire | Submitted by: larry daniels
"A Warren man who walked nude in his back yard and was spotted by neighbors using a pumpkin to sexually gratify himself was sentenced this week to 90 days in jail for indecent exposure. Bill Saintclair Patton, 45, was jailed on an unrelated domestic violence charge when he was brought to 37th District Court on Tuesday for the 2 year old indecent exposure case."

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Sex and the Aussie spies
Independent | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Australia's top intelligence agency is being undermind by sex scandals, nepotism and corruption according to a dossier of complaints leaked by a group of disgruntled spies. The dossier claims that the conduct of senior staff at the Defence Signals Directorate (DSD), the equivalent of Britain's GCHQ, poses a grave risk to national security. One source said yesterday: "We are afraid that if an 11 September incident was planned in the region, then DSD is not well placed to find out what it is." The disaffected spies allege that extramarital affairs are rife within the secretive agency."

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Corronation for King Haggis
Morning Call | Submitted by: anonymous
Festival-goers at the Bethlehem Pennsylvania Celtic Classic will annoint a new King Haggis today when 11 burly men see who can eat 1 1/2 pounds of the Scottish dish in the shortest time. For the uninitiated, haggis is a mix of sheep's entrails, oats and spices. Says one competitor from Alaska: "I go through haggis withdrawal. I'd rather eat haggis than chew on whale blubber."

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What is wrong with kids these days?
Taunton Gazette | Submitted by: Meerkat
"Police will not press charges against a Raynham parent who allegedly hired a stripper for his son's football team, because "nothing happened," they said... An investigation into the Sept. 12 incident has determined that the boys turned the woman away before she had a chance to perform, Deputy Police Chief Lou Pacheco said yesterday... 'The kids did the right thing,' Pacheco said." WHAT?

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Chernobyl Uranium: Own a piece of history
Pravda | Submitted by: Meerkat
"The court of Minsk, the Belarus capital, started a sensational case, which is at the same time extremely horrifying: several people charged with selling radioactive uranium rods, which highly likely came from the Chernobyl nuclear plant." Keep an eye on eBay.

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Tricky Dick pic used to lure kids
New York Post | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
"A victim who broke a 23-year silence testified yesterday that cannibal killer Albert Fentress sexually molested him when he was 12 years old, on a couch beneath Fentress' prized possession: a personally inscribed photo of former President Richard Nixon... He said Fentress took him home with him and proudly showed the sixth grader his framed Nixon photo, then "coerced" him into oral sex." Fentress is seeking release from the mental hospital where he has been held since a 1979 incident in which he cut off, sauteed and ate the genitals of 18 year old Paul Masters, who he later killed."

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