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September 20, 2002

James Brown's baby collaborators
Guardian | Submitted by: Sodom Hussong
"James Brown may be the Godfather of Soul, but he is also the father of two daughters who are taking him to court. The musical legend is being sued for royalties by his daughters, who claim that they helped him write hit songs when aged three and six." Uhh huh.

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Religious group seeks to raise girl from dead
KMGH-TV 7 Denver | Submitted by: bdragon
A resurrection failed to materialize for a 15 year old girl who died after religious parents refused to have her hospitalized for a tumour the size of a basketball. The leader of New Life Ministries asked his parishioners to not lose faith. Apparently he failed.

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Musician forces DJ to play album at gunpoint
ABC News | Submitted by: ian m...
"A gun-toting musician forced a southern Brazilian radio station to play his debut album for more than an hour after apparently having no luck opening the doors of show business, the man's father said. [The group's vocalist] stormed disc jockey Marcio Paz's booth at Atlantida FM in the city of Porto Alegre and forced him to play his album "Phases of Life."... The five-member band portrays itself on its Web site as futuristic superheroes living in a post-apocalyptic world."

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Jar of preserved fingers wins award
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: anonymous
"Earlier this month, the [human] fingertips took the "Pickled Skunk Brains" award from the North American Hazardous Materials Management Association. The award is given each year for the most unusual item handled by a hazardous-materials agency."

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Meth lab in Judge's chamber
WDEF | Submitted by: vacationing_uranus
"Dade County Sheriff Phil Street says a jail trustee was found cooking meth in the judge's chambers of the Dade County Courthouse Wednesday. Richard Andrew Logan had made his jail cell bed look as if someone were asleep and he slipped into the chambers and started cooking the drug on an electric skillet. Logan was serving a short sentence for traffic violations but if found guilty of manufacturing meth he could face a lot more time in jail. Ironically his trial will be in the same courtroom as the one he was using for his meth cooking business."

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ASCII emoticon turns 20
Wire Services | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Fluff article of the day: "On Sept. 19, 1982, Fahlman typed :-) in an online message. The 'smiley face' has since become a staple of online communication, allowing 12-year-old girls and corporate lawyers alike to punctuate their messages with a quick symbol that says, 'Hey, I'm only joking.'" Recent advances have also produced breasts (.)(.), the vagina ({}), the ass ( )*( ), etc etc.

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Jews can hold their liquor, Whitey can not
Health Scout News | Submitted by: TrinityMo
"About 44 percent of the 68 Jewish participants the scientists tested were found to carry a variant of a gene that produces a more active form of alcohol dehydrogenase, the enzyme that catalyzes the first step in the metabolism of alcohol. Previous research has shown this gene exists among both Asian and Jewish populations, although it is relatively uncommon among Caucasians; estimates are that only 2 percent to 5 percent of Caucasians carry it."

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Barechested father, son ambush MLB coach
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"Kansas City first-base coach Tom Gamboa was ambushed on the field by a bare chested father and his son in the ninth inning Thursday night, prompting players from both teams to rush to his rescue. "I had my hands on my hips and I was looking at the next batter. I felt like a football team had hit me from behind. Next thing I knew, I'm on the ground trying to defend myself," Gamboa said." With attack video.

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Shoes save men from nudity charges
CNN | Submitted by: >>^..^<<
"The law is very straightforward if someone is absolutely and completely bereft of clothing... however things become a little more complicated if there is a scrap of apparel anywhere on the body and the Crown has to show that the person is indecently clad which gets into what the current Canadian legal test is for indecency."

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Light pollution confuses animal kingdom
Christian Science Monitor | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Captivated by light from skyscrapers and radio towers, for example, night migrating birds were found to orbit them until they dropped out of the sky from exhaustion or after colliding with other birds in the migration flock or with structures. Since 1993, skyscrapers in Toronto alone have claimed 15,000 birds, including threatened and endangered species, according to the Fatal Light Awareness Program in Toronto."

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Dealing to the wrong dude
Independent | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Chief Superintendent Brian Moore was on his way home from work in Lambeth, south London, in civilian clothes, when he was approached in the street by the dealer. The suspect failed to recognise the man as the borough's acting chief of police, who is responsible for a crackdown on cannabis selling... "I told him to hang on and got out my warrant card and told him I was a police officer. He had a strange look on his face half a smile, half horror I think."

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Your TV, VCR forced obsolete in four years
MSNBC | Submitted by: dbag
The US government wants to make your television obsolete (you will have to buy a new one) primarily to appease moviemakers who don't want you recording their movies on your VCR. All new recording equipment will contain new features to prevent you from recording programming that the broadcasters do not want you recording. They want this all to happen starting around 2006.

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Jesus Shark
Wire Services | Submitted by: lowbrow
"The female whitespotted bamboo shark that gave birth at the Belle Isle Aquarium hasn't been near a male shark in at least six years. The Detroit Free Press reports the rare "virgin birth" is one of a few known occurrences at an accredited U-S zoo or aquarium."

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Ram trashes apartment
Portland Press Herald | Submitted by: Soylent
"Portland police investigating a report of a burglary in progress Monday, instead found a ram the size of a large dog trashing the apartment of a Danforth Street man. The animal had apparently been there for days and may have been suffering from lack of food and water, though the person responsible for the stunt had taken a bowl of salad from the refrigerator and placed it on the floor, police said."

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Robot probes great pyramids
BBC | Submitted by: k0re
"The miniature robot drilled a hole in a limestone door blocking a shaft and inserted a fibre optic camera through it only to find the chamber blocked by yet another door - not seen for more than 4,000 years. The miniature robot drilled a hole in a limestone door blocking a shaft and inserted a fibre optic camera through it only to find the chamber blocked by yet another door - not seen for more than 4,000 years."

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