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September 19, 2002

Junkie cuts off scrotum, penis
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Dark Pa
"The man then cut off his scrotum and penis before lopping off his left hand at the wrist-joint, just as Inspector Harrington and six other police officers arrived at the scene... It took all seven officers to hold the man down while the ambulance officers applied pressure bandages to stem the bleeding."

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WTC Swan Dive statue withdrawn
Wire Services | Submitted by: Ripley
"We apologize if anyone was upset or offended by the display of this sculpture. It was certainly not our intent. The piece will be removed this evening... I don't think it dignifies their deaths. It's not art. It is very disrupting when you see it." Umm that's what art is supposed to be: disrupting, thought provoking.

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Third floor: Lingerie, toiletries, body bags
CNN | Submitted by: Sildenafil
"While on vacation with his family last year, [eight year old] Tucker Smith stepped into the space between the outer swinging door and inner collapsible gate of a 1929 elevator at the Bethel Inn and Country Club. The outer door closed behind the 60-pound child, trapping him in a 7 1/2 inch deep space between, just as the elevator was called up... The boy was crushed between the car and the second floor landing. He was dead of massive head trauma."

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Woman arranged child sex with Connecticut mayor
Wire Services | Submitted by: NiKONE
"The 31-year-old woman pleaded guilty to similar federal charges last week. The Associated Press is not identifying her because of her relationship to the 9- and 11-year-old sexual assault victims. Prosecutors say Giordano, a three-term mayor and Republican nominee for U.S. Senate in 2000, had a long-standing relationship with the woman, which included paying her for sex, and also payments to arrange sex with the girls."

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Police stole giant prarie dog statue
The Omaha Channel | Submitted by: cherry bomb
"Four off-duty South Sioux City police officers are in the doghouse for nabbing a 5-foot fiberglass prairie dog sculpture as a practical joke... The officers said they put the prairie dog in the back of a pickup truck and took it about 10 blocks to the house of a fellow officer, who is a Notre Dame fan." Yee haw.

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Go skydiving in your car for $15,000
AutoWeek | Submitted by: Otis Criblecross
"The bigger cars were dropped from a C123 cargo plane owned by a friend in Kingman, Arizona. Preparing the cars for drops involves removing engines, transmissions and fuel tanks. The Hondas had their roofs cut off, to make it easier to get in and out of the driverís seat. The hoods are duct taped shut, since metal tearing off at terminal velocity could endanger the 'drivers'. The cars usually come from junkyards, though Gasson owns a 94 Civic and admits heís 'toyed with the idea of dropping it someday.'"

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Dog poo convicts thief
AAP | Submitted by: Aussie_Bonzi
"While 26-year-old Jacob Michael Smith hid his face during the armed robbery by wrapping a sheet around his head, he neglected to wipe a piece of dog poo off his shoe which formed an unfortunate pattern that would lead to his arrest. "It's not rocket science. It's as plain as poo on your shoe," Sgt Piper said today."

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About 200 Ukranian nukes missing
NewsMax | Submitted by: HawaiianAtheist
"Out of 2,400 nuclear warheads which were on Ukrainian territory, the withdrawal of only 2,200 warheads has been verified. The fate of the remaining 200 warheads is unknown," Simonenko told Pravda."

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Cocaine smuggling gets a new twist
Wire Services | Submitted by: Manzin
"Authorities found 28 rocks of crack cocaine tucked into the braided hair of a 16 year old girl at the Milwaukee County Courthouse, according to a delinquency petition... A Sheriff's Department deputy noticed a plastic bag "protruding from the back of her hair" as the teenager was questioned, and another deputy pulled it out, the petition said."

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Japan bar hostess really 14 year old boy
News Corporation | Submitted by: Taleya
"Japanese police last week discovered that a 14-year-old schoolboy had worked as a "hostess" at an Okinawa bar for more than two months, a local official said. His employer believed he was a girl until police pointed out his actual gender."

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Woman poses as teenage boy, sleeps with 14 y.o.
Toledo Blade | Submitted by: Drewicide
"For more than a year, Brian Andrew Newman carried on a friendship, then a relationship, with a Hillsdale County girl... She was barely 14 years old. He said he was 16. At one point, Brian even lived with the girl and her family...'Brian' was really a 22-year-old woman--Valerie Charles from nearby Addison. She used a back brace to hide her body, three socks rolled up in a condom to have sexual contact with the teenage girl."

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Cast ye not the first stone etc, etc.
Denver Post | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Undocumented immigrants helped remodel U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo's Littleton basement... creating a home theater with terraced seating, a billiards table and game area, and a bedroom for Tancredo, a Republican and one of the nation's most vocal immigration critics... Tancredo "doesn't want us here, but he'll take advantage of our sweat and our labor," said one of the workers. "It's just not right."

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Brazil's parallel government
Washington Post | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"On a steep hillside, an organization is generously maintaining the local soccer field, donating cash to help operate day-care centers, providing cheap transit, staging musical extravaganzas, offering medicine and food to needy families and assuring the security of the more than 250,000 residents packed into the massive Rocinha ghetto. There are many such organizations operating throughout Brazil. In Rocinha, as in other favelas... the organizations are known as "the Parallel Power", the new euphemism for Brazil's increasingly omnipotent drug lords."

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Area 51 safe from prying eyes for another year
MSNBC | Submitted by: Rufferto
"In the continuation of a drama played out every Sept. 18 since 1995, Bush signed the order to make sure that lawyers pursuing hazardous waste claims against the Environmental Protection Agency could not get their hands on classified information about the site, which lies in the middle of a remote stretch of desert 100 miles north of Las Vegas." Presumably, as Agent Mulder would have it, "the truth is out there." Just donít ask the president.

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Cops administer double blind donut test
Denver Post | Submitted by: badsara
"They assembled an elite squad of doughnut eating police officers and firefighters from the Denver area to evaluate the qualities of LaMar's Donuts compared with Krispy Kremes in a blind taste test. "My body's a temple," he said. But he was not so sure after tasting 10 doughnuts. "I think I violated my temple," he said."

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Another 57 year old woman another 150 Cats
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
"She has only 41 left. A drop in the bucket. When animal-control officer John Hodge first stopped by in July to investigate a growing number of complaints, he saw as many as 150 cats, he figures. Some inside the house, some in cages, some on the loose. Old cats, young cats, kittens all over the place. 'The odor was overwhelming,' he said."

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Police discover National Flower of Scotland
New Zealand TV One | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Several police officers have been moved out of the child abuse unitafter a pornographic email was mistakenly sent to primary schools. The officers work in the police child abuse team and an embarrassed police national headquarters is now investigating how the mistake happened... The email, called national flower of Scotland, features a worm's eye view underneath a man's kilt. The fact that the man was aroused is what has caused offence."

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Man wins coma from Illinois lottery
Springfield State Journal-Register | Submitted by: effect
"Everett Harbour of Pawnee won the first Harley-Davidson motorcycle ever given away by the Illinois State Lottery, only to crash his prize bike into a tree and end up in a coma... A passer-by had discovered Harbour lying beside his motorcycle under a tree across the street from his house in Pawnee. Later, Smith would learn that her father's helmet had still been strapped to the back of the motorcycle."

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