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August 31, 2002

Shatner vs the dorks
Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: Soylent
The great actor William Shatner, on his coming paintball career: "I suggested to the guys running the game that I wanted to lead like a leader, right up front. And then they did the mathematics for me. There are 2,000 people minimum, hopefully more, so that means approximately 1,400 people are all trying to shoot me. Because, like a prize elk, they want my antlers on their wall. Multiply 20 or 30 paintballs a second times 1,400, and that's how many are coming my way. You know, leading at front may not be the best idea."

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Israel using flechettes
BBC | Submitted by: Zar
"The Israeli army confirmed it used flechettes in an operation near the Jewish settlement of Netzarim, south of Gaza City, on Thursday. Palestinian medical officials said the victims were cut to shreds after being hit by the tiny metal darts, which are dispersed by a tank shell."

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What First Amendment?
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
For those who cherish the idea that America is free, this should come as a shock: "The sentiment that the First Amendment goes too far was already on the rise before the terrorist attacks a year ago, doubling to four in 10 between 2000 and 2001. The poll found that 49 percent think the First Amendment goes too far, a total about 10 points higher than in 2001. 'Many Americans view these fundamental freedoms as possible obstacles in the war on terrorism,' said Ken Paulson, executive director of the First Amendment Center, based in Arlington, Va., which commissioned the survey. Almost half also said the media has been too aggressive in asking the government questions about the war on terrorism."

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The best playground for young boys ever
Global News | Submitted by: Gorg
"A fire that scorched a southwest Calgary playground Thursday has neighbors concerned about the safety of the material covering the ground there. The Glenbrook area playground is lined with recycled tires. Investigators say a seven-year-old boy started the blaze by setting a mattress on fire." WTF was a mattress doing in a children's playground?"

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Taftquack
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
With only $375,000 in campaign funds at his disposal, the Democratic gubernatorial candidate in Ohio, Tim Hagan, has launched an entirely web-based offensive against current Ohio Republican governor Bob Taft. The result: Taftquack, Bob taft's head placed on the body of a duck and given a yellow bill, mimicking those annoying Aflac commercials. Article includes web address to the commercial, which is just surreal and absurd enough to win a few "the world is going to hell anyway so why not help it along" votes.

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Thirteen graves washed away
Yahoo! Schlagzeilen | Submitted by: Alamar
After heavy raining, an graveyard of the City Siegen (in central Germany) was washed away with 13 graves. Photo of some of the coffins headed downstream. Also accompanied with an article in German.

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PMS can be a real bitch
Boston Herald | Submitted by: Mike C
"Two Malden women wielding a baseball bat and in the mood for 'causing trouble' allegedly drove through four towns early yesterday morning, bashing in the windows of some 40 cars before being caught by a cop they nearly ran over... they are also suspected of having left a trail of shattered glass in their wake across Reading, Wakefield and Stoneham."

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Hospital turns away patient because of fatness
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A 326-pound man scheduled for a heart procedure was turned away from an Ormond Beach, Fla., hospital because officials said he was too heavy for the table. Instead of getting the outpatient surgery he needed, Preston Bergin was sent home because the table in the lab wouldn't hold him."

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Born criminal
Independent Online | Submitted by: Soylent
"According to court authorities in Dziezoniow, south-west Poland, Beniamin drove away from a local wholesaler with a lorry-load of beer without paying a cent in October last year. But Beniamin was born in November, as the infant's grandmother pointed out to SuperExpress."

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Michael Jackson wins Britney Booby Prize
Sky News | Submitted by: Ryano
"[Britney Spears] said that, for her, Jackson was the artist of the millennium. But Jackson took her words to mean he was being honoured as the greatest singer of the last 1,000 years. The star then told the audience and millions of TV viewers: "When I was a little boy growing up in Indiana if someone told me I'd be getting the Artist of the Millennium award, I'd never have believed it."

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