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August 23, 2002

Mom, I starred in a porno at College
AZ Central | Submitted by: kade
"A pornographic video shot at four Arizona State University fraternity houses and featuring a student vice president has prompted an investigation by administrators who fear it could undermine long-standing efforts to rid the campus of its party school reputation... The video apparently was shot last September, when a Shane's World crew pulled up in front of the various houses unannounced in a Hummer limousine and asked members to be part of a sexual scavenger hunt."

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Fucked over By F. Lee Bailey
Boston Globe | Submitted by: Incubus
"Bailey was supposed to hold Duboc's stock in a pharmaceutical company in trust for the government, former Internal Revenue Service agent Guerry Hersey said. Instead, Bailey placed it in a Swiss bank account and secured a line of credit and then transferred money into his personal accounts in the United States, Hersey said. Many people may remember F. Lee Baily as one of the members of O.J. Simpson's infamous "Dream Team."

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Victims bashed with sex toy
News Corporation | Submitted by: Mattydman
"Two sex shop staff almost bashed to death in their store were probably attacked with one of their own sex toys.Items sold at the Eagle Leather bondage store include wooden batons, rubber truncheons and phallic sex toys up to 60cm long and weighing up to 13kg."

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America's biggest chickenhawks
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
There are similar stories about almost every other prominent rightwing Republican of recent vintage. Newt Gingrich, ex-Speaker of the House, went the Cheney route; Kenneth Starr, Clinton's legal nemesis, had psoriasis; Jack Kemp, Dole's running mate in 1996, was unfit because of a knee injury, though he heroically continued as a National Football League quarterback for another eight years; Pat Buchanan had arthritis in his knees, though he soon became an avid jogger. The best story concerns Rush Limbaugh, the ferociously bellicose radio personality, who allegedly had either "anal cysts" or an "ingrown hair follicle on his bottom".

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When puppies die
Antiwar | Submitted by: Howdy Doody
"Just in case there were a few of you left who aren't biting the "al-Qaeda is the most evil group of people to exist in the history of the world" bit, along comes the "they kill puppies!" tapes... But, Each year, at least 320,000 primates, dogs, pigs, goats, sheep, rabbits, cats, and other animals are hurt and killed by the U.S. Department of Defense in experiments that rank among the most painful conducted in this country... The cost to taxpayers for these military experiments is estimated to be in excess of $100 million annually."

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Do pigs get fleas?
Wire Services | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"Sgt. Marc Dopp said the three officers found they were covered with the bugs as they left the two-story house on Tuesday The infestation spread to five officers and five police cars. The Sixth Precinct substation had to be closed. The officers were taken to University Hospitals East, where they were scrubbed. An exterminator fumigated the police cars Tuesday night."

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Stinky relatives discourage incest
Reuters | Submitted by: Dr. Slop
"Family members tend not to like the way each other smell, researchers say, speculating that the unpleasant stink of your closest relatives may be one of nature's ways of discouraging incest." What about West Virginia though.

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Party at the big house
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: greenghost
"An investigation is underway into the conduct of inmates and staff at a federal correctional centre in Saskatoon after photos were published showing inmates feasting on steaks, climbing trees and playing naked in a hot tub."

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Michael Jackson has another kid
Wire Services | Submitted by: Kat
"A backstage source from the Siegfried and Roy show (!!) told Reuters that Jackson did, indeed, bring all three youngsters to the July 30 show, including a 7-month-old baby introduced by Jackson as Prince Michael II."

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Man murders cats with shotgun, legally
Wire Services | Submitted by: ian m.
"A landlord who shot and killed two cats after a tenant refused to get rid of them was acquitted of felony charges, the first court test of a new Maryland law designed to stiffen penalties for animal cruelty. A judge ruled that Eric Grossnickle destroyed the cats in a legally acceptable manner when he blasted them with a 12-gauge shotgun."

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Gettin hitched at the NASCAR track
Indianapolis Star | Submitted by: Ice cream emperor
In the continuing saga of attempting to find places classier than Wal-Mart to get married: "The 31-year-old secretary from Indiana will travel 12 hours to the Bristol Motor Speedway to get married at the track's start-finish line... At least four other couples plan to participate in the "mass wedding" organized by track officials, who say they get about half a dozen requests to allow marriages before each race."

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Morgue too stinky from cadavers
Indianapolis Star | Submitted by: Custard king
"Decomposed bodies from LaPorte, Porter and other nearby counties used to go to the morgue at Memorial Hospital in South Bend, but that hospital stopped accepting bodies from other counties several months ago after it became difficult to control the smell."

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Flaccid fiend's stiff sentence
New York Post | Submitted by: Phatlor
A story mainly interesting for the headline: "A rich Upper East Side thug who beat up two women after his own impotence left him unable to rape them refused to apologize to his victims yesterday, and was sentenced to more than three years in prison."

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Court denies Ashcroft additional spy privs
Washington Post | Submitted by: Soylent
"The secretive federal court that approves spying on terror suspects in the United States has refused to give the Justice Department broad new powers, saying the government had misused the law and misled the court dozens of times, according to an extraordinary legal ruling released yesterday." Wait, power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely?

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Survival of the elderly
Vladivostok News | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"A Vladivostok pensioner survived five days in the taiga, swimming across rivers and eating cedar nuts, after getting lost while picking mushrooms. Now rescue workers hope to learn survival tactics from the 71-year-old woman... She tried to sleep in brushwood, but was kept awake by the sounds of wild boar and beavers.

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Prizewinning film supressed by Indian censors
Common Dreams | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"An antiwar film that depicts the euphoria after India's first successful nuclear tests and the horror of Sept. 11 has been deemed too provocative for Indian eyes." Among the scenes ordered cut: "visuals of Hindus cutting their hands with razors to sign their names in blood on messages of congratulations for the nuclear tests."

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Canadians discover new useless ice
National Post | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"In a finding that could breathe new life into cryopreservation, a Canada-U.S. team has discovered several new forms of ice... They do not expect the findings to help revive frozen bodies anytime soon because the ices form only under high pressure... "The pressure would squish most organs into uselessness."

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Teddy bears and cigarettes
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Soylent
"Three empty Remy Martin brandy bottles sit at the base of an oak tree. A white teddy bear guards an unopened can of malt liquor. A dozen wilting wild roses, a handful of dollar bills and empty beer bottles sit on the ground, below scrawls of "RIP Bud" and a picture of Jesus Christ."

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Leni still gorgeous at 100
Wire Services | Submitted by: sinckwholefan
It's no secret that the entire rotten.com staff has a huge crush on Leni. .

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