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August 21, 2002

Eastern Lubber meets the surgical 2x4
Orlando Sentinel | Submitted by: z0rak187
"Monstrous grasshoppers, too nasty-tempered and toxic to be eaten by natural predators and too big to be bothered by conventional pesticides, are on the rampage in Central Florida this summer... "About all you can do is hit 'em with a 2-by-4," said Pris Peterson, master gardener at the Lake County Agricultural Center."

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Vietnamese chef killed by his meal
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: optional
A gourmet chef in Vietnam has died after being bitten by a venomous sea snake that he was about to cook as the nightly special... Mr Cuong picked up the half-metre sea snake from the glass aquarium it was kept in to prepare the restaurant's speciality, porridge with snake's blood. The snake lashed around and bit his left hand."

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Tupac-related toddler toss
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: wingnut
"With horrified onlookers watching in disbelief, the man snatched little Aurora and tried to hurl her over the railing at Hallidie Plaza. But Barnes instantly grabbed her daughter's arm and never let go. People tackled the man to the ground, 'kicking and beating him.'" But why, you ask, was the mother temporarily distracted? "Barnes had been standing on Market Street on Sunday with two friends, considering whether to spend $5 on a hand-painted portrait of rapper Tupac Shakur."

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Kids afterschool porn and pot sessions
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: biggles
"Four 10 year old children have confessed to watching pornographic movies and smoking cannabis while home alone after school... Details of the Papamoa children's activities emerged after a mother found the remains of a cannabis joint in her daughter's bag as she was leaving for school."

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Bad weekend for bungling robber
Kansas City Star | Submitted by: wingnut
"Over the weekend, Merriam police said, [the robber] got locked out of a hotel he was trying to stick up, and, after a successful robbery, he spilled loot when he ran headlong into a trash container. He slammed into the store's trash bin and cash went flying. He scooped up the money but left a trail of four packs of cigarettes on his way to his getaway car."

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Time travelers in Times Square?
Akron Beacon-Journal | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"It was 11:15 p.m. on a warm June night in 1950, and the area of Times Square was buzzing with people leaving the theaters. Suddenly, in the midst of traffic appeared an odd-looking man, about 30 years old. He wore mutton-chop whiskers and quaint clothing that had gone out of style decades before. The man gawked at his surroundings, and then tried to dash away from the cars. He was struck by a cab and killed. Police found on the dead man antique currency, business cards in the name of Rudolph Fentz, and a letter addressed to Fentz postmarked in 1876... When Rihm located the junior's widow, she told him her father-in-law had vanished in 1876 after going out for a smoke."

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News Flash: Hollywood glamorizes smoking
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
Surprise, surprise: "Last week, the veteran Hollywood scriptwriter Joe Eszterhas wrote an extraordinary mea culpa in the New York Times. Eszterhas, who wrote Basic Instinct, Flashdance, Sliver and Fist, admitted in the piece to being 'an accomplice in the murder of untold numbers of human beings'. The reason for his confession was that, as a defiant smoker from childhood, he had often inserted smoking scenes into his screenplays and felt that by so doing he may well have encouraged young people to smoke."

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EU as cyber big brother
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"The EU proposal will make [companies] store information for up to 24 months about who every EU citizen is calling, e-mailing or faxing. The proposal will also allow the data to be shared among police forces across Europe. The move has been brought in under the guise of aiding the fight against terrorism but the draft proposal allows the information to be used during the investigation of almost any serious crime."

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Greenpeace caught lying
Daily Telegraph | Submitted by: kade
Greenpeace tried to claim modern society as the culprit behind a glacier's disappearance. "But Prof Ole Humlum, a leading glaciologist in Svalbard, 500 miles north of Norway, said yesterday: "That glacier had already disappeared in the early 1920s as a result of a perfectly natural rise in temperature that had nothing to do with man-made global warming."

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Inventor wants robots to have friends
MSN | Submitted by: machiamako
"In Steels's view the breakthrough that will take robots beyond the Aibo stage will come from allowing them to interact, form their own languages and even "cultures" rather than focusing strictly on how individual machines behave. This is in contrast to those who see the path to robotic intelligence simply as a matter of constructing increasingly complex machines."

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The Bogle Crime Family
New York Times | Submitted by: Netzläufer
The Osbournes take a second seat to this family way of life: "In time, everybody went to jail, or to state prison, as did many of Rooster's brothers and their families. By official count, 28 in the Bogle clan have been arrested and convicted, including several of Rooster's grandchildren. Rooster Bogle (rhymes with mogul) himself died in 1998, of natural causes... They have been stopped repeatedly by the Salem police simply because their license plates were registered to a Bogle. Driving while Bogle is the local form of profiling."

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Jail-sex lawyer got carried away
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: el jay
Followup on earlier story: "'I was just giving him a hug and it got carried away.' That was the only explanation that startled defence lawyer Theresa Olson could offer when a guard burst into the small prison conference room where witnesses say she had sex with Sebastian Burns, her Canadian client charged with a triple murder near Seattle."

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Undertaker busted for sex with dead lover
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Musty
"An assistant undertaker assigned to prepare the body of a woman he had been courting has been arrested after admitting to having sex with her corpse... Sakchai, who had been infatuated with the victim, left a note to the parents of the 31-year-old woman, apologising for his actions."

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It's okay to worship Jap Emperor again
Guardian | Submitted by: Gogledd
"The Japanese emperor's godlike status has not changed since the second world war, according to a new exhibit at the country's most popular war museum. The slick, Shinto-oriented rewrite of history at the Yasukuni shrine in Tokyo denies that Emperor Hirohito renounced his divinity in 1946, as most westerners and Japanese believe."

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Child thrown from state fair ride caught on film
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A 2-year-old fell from a California State Fair ride, and it was all caught on videotape. A fairgoer, shooting images from his Monday night fair adventure, captured the incident of Demauri Jones falling from a ride and landing on the pavement." With video of the fall.

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Bonds' 600th homerun ends friendships
ESPN | Submitted by: El SHoik
"[Jay Arsenault] got a ticket to the game after allegedly promising workmates to split any profits on the remote chance he caught Bonds' 600th career home run ball. Now, ball in glove, he's allegedly reneging on a promise to share the wealth, according to three former friends who have filed suit in Solano County Court."

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Police caught in animal-porn operation
Hartford Courant | Submitted by: Bill Clay
"He said investigators took photographs. One of them picked up a 2 month old kitten, lifted its tail and photographed a bit of excrement and cat litter on its behind." Actually, it's another cat-hoarding story.

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The business of teen rebellion
International Herald Tribune | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"But the counterculture skate bums of the past are also litigious businessmen today, who want a bigger piece of the X Games pie from its creator and main profiteer, ESPN. Skateboarders are now dealing with issues like protecting the use of their likeness for profit, or getting a cut of the merchandising income."

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Mom charged with letting kids get sunburned
CNN | Submitted by: MadSalad
Sheer lunacy: "A woman was arrested on felony charges for allegedly letting her three children get so severely sunburned that they looked like they 'were dipped in red paint.'" Where does it end?

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Tough love for French kids
World Socialist Web Site | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"In addition, the laws dealing with youth crime are being toughened substantially: Young people who insult their teachers can be punished with six months imprisonment and a 7,500 euro fine, placing teachers on an equal footing with police officers as representatives of state authority. Those caught spraying graffiti must pay a 3,750 euro fine in addition to completing community service."

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Evangelist gives university the finger
AZ Central | Submitted by: Tonester
"The donation came from an alumnus who also gave the school some rare Methodist books and engravings, according to librarian Ken Rowe. The finger came in a small box and was accompanied by a yellowed slip of paper that claimed the finger came from George Whitefield, a well-known charismatic preacher."

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Despite blackouts, PA driver keeps license
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | Submitted by: D.Rango
A driver blacks-out twice and causes two accidents. Doctors can't find a reason for the condition; so what does the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation do? They send the guy a letter saying it was OK to get back behind the wheel. Six months later, the guy blacks out again, causing a crash that killed a woman and her pregnant daughter. Happy motoring!

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Just admit it you bitch, we robbed you
Australia Daily Telegraph | Submitted by: agent Q
"The woman said 'Troublsm' then invited her to his home and told her that his brother had got a Commodore with a 'mad Kenwood set-up in it', referring to a stereo. She had had a Kenwood stereo in her car and a similar one, with fluorescent green speakers, was found during a search of the young man's home. 'Then he typed a number plate which was the number plate of my car. And then I asked what's that.' His reply was: 'Just admit it you bitch, we robbed you.'"

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Ho's gotta eat too
Wire Services | Submitted by: Rashamon
"Sex trade workers must be compensated for displacement they experience at your hands in the same manner you would compensate a business if you were to use their locale during operating hours. The same must hold true for homeless people you push from beneath a bridge or doorway, and drug users you move from a park."

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MPAA and RIAA and DOJ gestapo on the loose
ZDnet | Submitted by: Jorge
Department of Justice gears up for the battle against the growing Evils of peer2peer file sharing. Screw International Terrorism, downloading N'SYNCH deemed a bigger danger to national security.

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No Baby Dumping
KTLA | Submitted by: Soylent
"Bumper stickers that say 'No Baby Dumping' are causing lots of controversy in this small Northern California city. Santa Cruz's Deputy District Attorney wants the stickers placed on trash dumpsters thoughout the city. The idea is to discourage child abandonment."

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