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August 16, 2002

Couple fuck in Cathedral for radio promotion
New York Post | Submitted by: Voodoo
"A Virginia couple was arrested yesterday for public lewdness after allegedly having sex in St. Patrick's Cathedral as part of an 'Opie and Anthony' radio stunt that outraged parishioners and church officials. Also arrested was comedian Paul Mercurio, 40, who provided a running on-air commentary of the sex act, which took place just five feet away from worshippers praying on the Feast of the Assumption."

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Competitive eating
Wall Street Journal | Submitted by: Soylent
"But these days, in order to remain in the game, eaters like Mr. Jarvis, who weighs 420 pounds and is 6 foot 6, are trying to slim down. The reason: Some nutritionists say that thinner people can actually eat more food faster than overweight people, and their bodies don't send as many hormonal signals to the brain to stop eating when they are full."

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Dump truck drivers sniff out pot
Union-Leader | Submitted by: Diala Axe
Who better than the Dept. of Public Works employees to know what marijuana smells like: "The sickly sweet smell of marijuana on six trash bags led two Nashua public works employees to search through their smelly load, where they discovered piles of plastic wrap covered in marijuana residue. The two called their supervisor and the Nashua police to report their suspicions Monday."

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Imaginary baby was not murdered
New York Times | Submitted by: anonymous
"If you are going to charge three defendants with capital murder for killing a newborn, do you have an obligation to show that the baby really was killed? Not in Alabama, you don't. Do you need to show, somehow, that the baby ever existed? Not in Alabama. Not if the defendants are poor, black and retarded."

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Trans-sexual police impersonator gets jail term
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: piratical
"Sergeant Ana Williams would drive around in her patrol car doing routine jobs and ordering her colleagues about. But Williams was no ordinary cop; she was really a he, a 22-year-old cross-dressing fraudster on a three month long crime spree that stretched across the North Island. Williams stole handcuffs, pepper spray and a police issue shirt, jumper and boots."

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Tardiness frowned upon in Iraq
IRNA Iran | Submitted by: kade
Uday Hussein, Saddam's son, is insane. The penalty for being late to a meeting was the forced drinking of two liters of whiskey, ending in fatality. Why is whiskey even available in an Islamic country like Iraq?

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A seagull to the face
Toronto Star | Submitted by: kade
"The officer handcuffed him, lifted him up and threw him to the ground and then put his knee in his chest and was yelling, 'So you think you are tough,' Then the officer went to the garbage can and pulled out the dead seagull and rubbed it in the boy's face. It was brutal."

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Man chops off rotting finger with scissors
Orange Today | Submitted by: Spookbabe
In a follow up to yesterday's top story: "A pensioner fed up with waiting for surgery on his gangrenous hand has sliced his rotten finger off with a pair of scissors."

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Drunk misses train, keeps legs
BBC | Submitted by: anonymous
Article with an *great* picture: A drunken man on a railway line at an Essex station survived by clinging to the platform edge as a train went past. Staff at Romford station said they were 'amazed' the man was not killed."

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Tombstone ATM doles out inheritance
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: nick thompson
"Cattle rancher Grover Chestnut died earlier this year at the age of 79. However, before he cashed in, he installed an ATM at his tombstone and gave ten heirs debit cards, and told them were allowed to withdraw $300 per week from the grave."

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The Boxer Shorts Rebellion
Washington Times | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Officials in Shanghai have declared war on pajama-wearers who, they say, damage the city's modernization drive by strolling in public in their nightwear...Thousands of middle-aged and older residents of the old inner city, however, are refusing to take the criticism lying down, and continue to walk the streets in their pajamas."

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Gay inmates can't kiss visitors
CNN | Submitted by: D.Rango
Does oppressive heat make you stupid? Aparently so. In Arizona's prisons, there's a rule prohibiting people of the same sex from kissing during inmate visits. Arizona argued "the policy was meant to protect gay inmates from abuse they might receive from other inmates who discover their sexual orientation." No word on whether the state would also ban the dropping of soap in the shower.

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Thieves steal UK radio station
This Is Brighton and Hove | Submitted by: KennyK
"Burgess Hill-based Bright 106.4 FM was inundated with phone calls from angry listeners who were missing the breakfast show. They were told the aerial and the UKP 15,000 transmission equipment, kept on a water tower in Haywards Heath, had disappeared in the night."

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Neighbors love the trash-lady
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Skeletor
"A neighborhood has rallied to restore the condemned home of a 67 year old woman who collected tons of newspapers, cans and plastic bags and stored them in her house. Dorothy Westfall has had to sleep in her back yard for the past year because her house is crammed with 26 tons of trash from floor to ceiling."

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Are pop-up ads illegal?
GigaLaw | Submitted by: Soylent
"I don't know of anyone who has said with any authority that all pop-up advertising on the Web is illegal. But an impressive group of news publishers (including Dow Jones & Co., publisher of The Wall Street Journal Online) is using intellectual-property laws to fight some pop-up ads, arguing in a lawsuit that a third party, the Gator Corp., doesn't have the right to sell and display these advertisements while users are visiting their news sites."

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Japanese Elvis impersonator
Wire Photo | Submitted by: sinckwholefan
Rove me tender: A japanese impersonator shows his dedication to the King on the anniversary of his death.

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