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August 14, 2002

Frisbee inventor's remains to be made into frisbees
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Otis Criblecross
"Just before he died, the creator of the game of Frisbee golf said he wanted his ashes to be mixed into new versions of the famous plastic disc and his family hopes these limited-edition Frisbees could be sold to help fund a museum in his honor."

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Adam Ant: The good, the bad and the plug-ugly
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Former pop idol Adam Ant has admitted threatening pub customers who made fun of his "cowboy" clothes. The 1980s star appeared at the Old Bailey on Tuesday under his real name Stuart Goddard, and pleaded guilty to affray. Pub customers started humming the theme from the spaghetti western The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, when he walked in wearing a combat jacket and matching flat cap, the court heard at an earlier hearing."

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Fake Doctor practices 15 years
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: Casshew
"The letters, offering the support of 189 of the 1,000 patients he treated without a valid medical degree, were presented yesterday to the judge charged with deciding Mr. Chung's fate for defrauding Ontario taxpayers of $4.4 million. Knowing that Mr. Chung, 65, never graduated from a medical school did not stop former patient Mary Ainswith from writing: "I would recommend him to anyone."

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Adult Snow White books in children's section
Singapore Straits Times | Submitted by: Steve
"Bookstore shoppers in Taipei who picked up newly released versions of Snow White and other children's classics hoping to read wholesome tales might have been a bit shocked. The books were a Japanese author's kinky take on the stories, and in the X-rated version, Snow White does more than clean and cook for the seven dwarfs."

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A stigma that never fades
Economist | Submitted by: kade
America's prison system is fucked up and it's going to bite us in the ass, once we realize the scope of the evil we're doing: "America's incarceration rate was roughly constant from 1925 to 1973, with an average of 110 people behind bars for every 100,000 residents. By 2000, however, the rate of incarceration in state and federal prisons had more than quadrupled, to 478." Thank you, drug war.

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Elvis is toast
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: Tod
The artist inexplicably chose to use toast, but perhaps a better medium would have been Demerol(TM), Nebutal(TM), pentobarbital, and quaaludes: "A Wellington supermarket owner has spent two months fashioning his own unique toast to mark the 25th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. Maurice Bennett has constructed a portrait measuring 5.76 square metres in area of the King of Rock 'n' Roll crafted out of more than 4000 small slices of toast."

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Arab news translated by Israeli company
Guardian | Submitted by: Duchi
"'Independant' media company that translates Arab newspaper stories for American media turns out to be working for Isreal, and is also subsidized by US taxpayers: "The co-founder and president of Memri, and the registered owner of its website, is an Israeli called Yigal Carmon. Mr - or rather, Colonel - Carmon spent 22 years in Israeli military intelligence and later served as counter-terrorism adviser to two Israeli prime ministers, Yitzhak Shamir and Yitzhak Rabin."

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Man bites dog
KOAT-TV 7 Albuquerque | Submitted by: gremlin
When a dog bites a man, it's not news; but when a man bites a dog it is indeed news, but pretty boring news and I really must wonder why this one is making the cut (except perhaps due to cliche value): "Justice, a K-9 officer, was treated for cuts around his eye and ear. Police say he was bitten by a suspect he was chasing then beaten and stabbed around the head with a pipe."

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Teen gives finger, dies
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: KennyK
"A teen-age motorcycle rider died Wednesday as he turned to give the finger to police officers who had given up pursuing him and slammed into a taxi, police said."

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Scientists to clone mammoth
Pravda | Submitted by: T. Rana Sorez
Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park is coming true, according to umm, Pravda. "The scientists need to find a DNA sample for cloning a mammoth, and the sample will then be imposed into a cell of the closest relative of the extinct animal. Frozen sperm would be the best for the extraction of a DNA sample, but it will be very difficult to find. The scientistsí goal is to find a mammoth body that was frozen right after it died and stayed under the ground for thousands of years in the never-ending cold."

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Psychotic behavior OK if you're a Cop
Herald Tribune | Submitted by: Cobra Commander vs. Serpentor???
What do you get when you mix the Deep South, the Cold War, and misfiring neurons? That question is answered by a servant of the public on the Gulf Coast of Florida. After using racial slurs, threatening many people, and just recently offending a family of Russian decent, this keeper of the peace has just been cleared of any wrong-doing.

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Man charged with guerilla landscaping
New Haven Register | Submitted by: big lobsta
"Kenneth Costello, 49, of 372 Plains Road was charged on a warrant with first degree criminal trespass concerning a June 22 incident in which the owner of an Opal Street business complained that someone trimmed his trees and cut his grass without permission."

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Legal victory for dog cologne
Law.com | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Southern District of New York Chief Judge Michael B. Mukasey ruled that the perfume, called Timmy Holedigger, could not under any circumstances be confused with Tommy Hilfiger cologne, nor could it be seen as a competing product trading on the designer's good will."

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Nah, that's not conspicuous mon
Jamaica Observer | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Police arrested Pinnock on Monday at Barbados' Grantley Adams International Airport after a search of his suitcases revealed 11 pounds of marijuana hidden inside 24 bottles of barbeque sauce."

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Bulgarian kids have the best crack
vnunet | Submitted by: Son of Benway
This article is giving the Bulgarians way too much credit for this, but it does highlight the pointlessness of copy protection: "A month after rap artist Eminem released his latest album with 'uncrackable' copyright protection technology, pirated copies are on sale across eastern Europe... One market trader told vnunet: "I hope [the record company] did not spend too much on this. In Bulgaria there is nothing that can't be cracked." The piracy culture in Bulgaria is supported by a low-paid, technologically literate youth culture with access to technology."

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Victim splatters spammer's office with paint
El Paso Times | Submitted by: vauxhallvillian
One man's solution to the postal spam problem: "When the receptionist tried to summon a manager, Gesell pulled two half gallon cans of white paint from his truck. Police said he poured paint from one half gallon on the receptionist's desk and computer and then splashed paint on the employee. He tossed the second can onto the walls."

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It's my party and I'll kill if I want to
Bakersfield Californian | Submitted by: Crampon
"A southwest Bakersfield woman described as a loving mother and a perfect employee was beaten to death by her children, ages 17 and 12... Francisca Comparan, 43, was struck on the head with a cast-iron skillet on Friday after an argument with her children, police said. She reportedly had refused to let her 12-year-old daughter go to a party with her 17-year-old half-brother."

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Delaware more evil than previously thought
New Republic | Submitted by: Dylar
"Delaware's image as small and inoffensive is not merely a misconception but a purposeful guise. It presents itself as a plucky underdog peopled by a benevolent, public-spirited, entrepreneurial citizenry. In truth, it is a rapacious parasite state with a long history of disloyalty and avarice."

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Censorship in Afghanistan
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Patrick
An interesting column on how the U.S. Army keeps the media in line in Afghanistan by revoking privileges: "Later, when a public affairs major came to pick us up in a Humvee, he lectured us on the situation, just like Colonel Flagg used to do in the TV series M*A*S*H: "I don't know what you gentlemen heard or saw, or think you saw, but you didn't hear or see anything. Is that understood?"

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Defending hypocrisy
Time | Submitted by: Meerkat
After a hard day of protecting democracy, American GIs stationed in Korea like to unwind by supporting the local sex slave industry. "At the pizza joint, the three sergeants don't have anything more to say, telling a reporter: "We shouldn't be talking to you." Why not? "We're here to protect democracy. We're not here to practice it."

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Video game company seeks name whores
Nando Times | Submitted by: Benjamin Lesbian
"Hoping to push back the frontiers of advertising, a British marketing firm said Monday it would pay nearly $800 each to five people for the right to transform them into human billboards for a fantasy superhero. Acclaim UK is seeking applicants who will legally change their names for one year to promote the latest installment of its video game series about Turok, a time-traveling American Indian who slays bionically enhanced dinosaurs."

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