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August 11, 2002

Thai woman commits suicide by crocodile
BBC | Submitted by: Grayson
"She scaled a high fence and jumped into the concrete enclosure at the Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm on the outskirts of the capital, Bangkok. Visitors looked on in shock as the woman was dragged into a pond and dismembered. 'She did not cry or scream when she was bitten,' said a tour guide. 'It happened so quickly. Nobody could do anything.'"

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Robert hunts lions to win go-go prize
The Scotsman | Submitted by: wingnut
"Robert Ngromagogo caused a sensation when he entered a pole-dancing competition at the Siglo bar on the Cowgate. The audience whooped with delight as he put on an "energetic" display, based on traditional techniques used to hunt lions. His show saw off challenges from one of the usual favourite female contestants taking part in the weekly contest and won him the UKP100 top prize."

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Idiocy In Kentucky
Louisville Courier-Journal | Submitted by: KY Jelly
"A man driving a van with the message 'this is a stolen vehicle' scribbled in lipstick across a window led law-enforcement authorities on a high-speed chase yesterday... It struck the rear of Bullitt County Sheriff's Deputy Charles Mann's car, then eventually cut across the median to head north, then went back south... The van hit Mann's car several more times, then struck a guardrail."

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Dead teen gets burial 80 years after death
Washington Post | Submitted by: Brad
"So Tindall stood the coffin in a corner of a back room. "They used to play poker and dominoes in that room, and everybody thought (the body) brought them good luck because his lips were pulled back like he was smiling," Thibodeaux said. "As time went by, I guess he kind of petrified."

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Miss NZ's raunchy photo
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: wingnut
"Auckland's Amie Hewitt wanted to use a sexy photoshoot for men's magazine Ralph as a way of boosting the beauty pageant's flagging profile. Instead, a storm has erupted over a raunchy photo of 18-year-old Amie, posing topless with her Miss NZ crown and sash. "I thought the photo would be good for the pageant," she said."

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Young Kurt Warner fans might belong to street gang
KUSA-TV 9 Denver | Submitted by: bdragon
"The boys, ages 5 and 9, were at Six Flags Elitch Gardens earlier this week when they found out what they were wearing was definitely not OK. The youngest boy, Garrett Grive, and his friend, Nicky Baca, had on St. Louis Rams T shirts... The boys say a park employee approached them and said they had to turn their shirts inside out. A spokesman for the park said, "Denver police have alerted us that the number 13 refers to a street gang based in Los Angeles. Part of our policy is to maintain a family atmosphere, and maintain the safety of our guests."

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Polygamists host students, oops
Wire Services | Submitted by: gremlin
"Two Japanese teenagers on an exchange program were inadvertently placed with a host family of alleged polygamists... "It wouldn't be appropriate to place visiting guests in the home of someone who was disobeying the law," [Salt Lake City Mayor Spokesman] Joshua Ewing said."

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Elvis clone just a piece of hair away
The Commercial Appeal | Submitted by: Poots Brownhole
"No one has initiated a cloning of the rock icon, but at least one devoted collector of Elvis memorabilia said last week he has one of the "ultimate" keepsakes - and a necessary ingredient for a cloning attempt. "I think everybody wants a piece of Elvis, and you can't get any closer than his hair," said Tom Morgan, a friend of Elvis's late hair stylist and heir to roughly a half-pound of Elvis hair saved by the stylist."

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Truck pops in on neighbor
Staten Island Live | Submitted by: dominic
Eleanor Rohrig said she was snug in her bed until the souped-up 1972 Dodge Ram came to a screeching halt two feet from her head. "I thought someone was breaking in until I saw my microwave fly across the room. Then I thought, 'What the hell was that?'... If he wanted a cup of coffee to get sober he didn't have to drive his truck into my kitchen. He could have just knocked."

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Rome's high-class hookers
Wire Services | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"A customer reaches out of his car window and squeezes Cristal's bare flesh like a shopper testing fruit. Without a word, he drives on. Another car pulls up, and Cristal purrs "Ciao, ciao," and grabs for the door. The driver smiles coldly and guns his car out of reach. Cristal, a 25-year-old transsexual prostitute from Colombia, decides it's time for a break. Flipping her long blonde braids from her face, she squats in the gutter as drivers gawk."

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Renting a friend in Japan
Miami Herald | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"When 29-year-old Akiko gets married next month, she'll rent a reception room in a luxury hotel for the party, a Christian preacher for the ceremony and eight strangers posing as friends to round out the guest list... For a fee, a sometimes hefty one, Ookunitani will provide mourners for a funeral, fill a college lecture hall for a professor's speech, supply hundreds of protesters for a demonstration or, more commonly, fabricate matchmakers and guests for roles at traditional Japanese wedding parties."

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Poor judgement in Monaco
Court TV | Submitted by: Son of Benway
A Forrest Gump story gone awry: "The fire was very small and I did not think that the fire in such a small trash can was going to do all this," Maher told an investigating magistrate in 2000, according to the June 18 ruling provided by the defense to Court TV last month. "Moreover, there were windows in the room, so I could not imagine that Mr. Safra and Vivian could die."

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South African fan loses it
Xtramsn | Submitted by: Pedro
"The most recent case of spectator-rage, in which a Springbok fan attacked the referee at the Tri-Nations match in Durban overnight." Video of.

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Freaks like being freaks
Wire Services | Submitted by: Gutter Juice
"While the doctors who separated conjoined twins in Los Angeles talk about the little girls' prospects for healthy, productive lives, another pair of conjoined twins say that's exactly the life they've lived for 40 years. The women, one a former hospital worker, the other an aspiring country western singer, say the separation isn't necessary. 'I don't think it should be done... You don't mess with what God made, even if it means you enjoy both children for a shorter time.'"

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Hitchhiked himself to jail
Springfield State Journal-Register | Submitted by: Gutter Juice
"He had no money and no wheels, so he took off his shirt and started walking north on Interstate 65. He had 400 miles ahead of him. During his three-day journey from Nashville, Mark says, he was stopped by four or five cops. They all checked his ID and probably ran it through their computers to see what he was wanted for. Then they let him go on his way."

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