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August 09, 2002

Fat woman's electoral roll altered: Mr Fat Ass
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: JS Kiwi
"A New Plymouth, New Zealand woman is hopping mad after finding her electoral details changed to "Mr Fat Ass" by an unknown prankster. Kylene Soar received a letter today asking her to confirm her electoral name as "Kylene Fat Ass" and title as "Mr". "That name is the last straw. My weight is a real touchy issue."

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Mad cow disease hits Canada
Wire Services | Submitted by: Gutter Juice
A Saskatchewan man has become Canada's first victim of the human strain of mad cow disease, but the patient probably contracted variant Creutzfeldt Jakob disease in Britain rather than in North America, Health Canada officials said on Thursday. The man, who has not been named, died in hospital in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, one of Canada's key agricultural provinces, after contracting the lethal brain-wasting disease."

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Cop killed by suspect with gun hidden up ass
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: stripey357
"Police may review how suspect searches are handled after a woman managed to hide a gun from officers just before a deadly shootout... In the bathroom, Donald walked to a toilet stall and then "came out and initiated the shooting,"

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Corporate America feels the heat
Guardian | Submitted by: wingnut
"The Bush administration has finally been trying to get to grips with the disaster that is US corporate life before the erosion in public confidence wrests Congress away from the Republicans in the November elections. Lawyers trying to arrange the discreet surrender of their clients have been overruled by the White House which has insisted on the "perp walk" Karl Rove, President Bush's political maestro (known to the president as both Boy Genius and more opaquely, Turd Blossom) has been positively gleeful at the television images." Turd Blossom?

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Soccer hooligans are in vogue again
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Jason Williams, a reporter who went undercover to find out about hooligans for the programme, said many of those he met and spoke to enjoyed the "buzz" of possible violence. He told BBC News Online: "One of them likened it to going to war for Queen and country. They get a great deal of satisfaction out of it and see themselves as big men."

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Spacewater campaign against drug sniffing dogs
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: leuken
"B.C. activists have begun spraying commuter ferries with the watered down essence of marijuana in a plan to stymie police dogs sniffing for the illicit drug. Wednesday marked the first of several "spray days," said a spokesman for the B.C. Marijuana Party. That campaign of secretly spraying the decks of ferries, said Michael Cost, is the most effective way of throwing drug dogs off the scent of marijuana shipments."

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Save your marriage by cheating on your wife
Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: Bo Orly
It's tough out there in the book market, which may explain why Judith Brandt's new book on saving your marriage includes little tips like how having an affair can shore up your marriage. Oh, but she's not telling you to be reckless; make sure yo do it at least fifty miles from home (she calls it the fifty mile rule). While being interviewed about her book, another writer, the author of "Kosher Adultery", suggested having an "affair" with one's own wife; Brandt came up with an angle that hardly sounds kosher. She said it would be "like putting lipstick on a pig." Oh yeah, big surprise, the writer is having an affair herself with a married man.

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Giant fertility symbol gets giant condom
Yahoo! UK | Submitted by: f00f
The Family Planning Association has condomized an ancient artwork: "The image, etched into the chalk rock of a Dorset hillside, is believed to date from the second millennium BC. At least one couple claim to have cured their infertility by making love in its one-foot-wide trenches."

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Crows observed making tools
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: ferrokid
Few animals have been observed using tools, and fewer still have actually created them. Add crow to the list: "Our surprise came when, in the fifth trial, the male stole the hooked wire from the female and took it away. Far from giving up, she then picked the remaining straight wire and bent it herself." She constructed a tool to retrieve tasty delicious morsels!

Read article... and This article...

Cross topples from top of church, filmed
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A 23-foot-tall cross came plummeting to earth while crews were trying to mount it atop an Orthodox chuch outside St. Petersburg, Russia. Officials said that the cable suspending the 22-ton gilded cross from a helicopter snapped." Video of the accident.

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Trinidad's prison vampires
Trinidad Express | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Peter Alexander was yesterday jailed for 24 months for slashing a fellow prisoner across the face with a broken pair of spectacles... The incident occurred on July 24. Alexander was himself attacked in the cells one week later. He was stabbed and slashed by three prisoners who drank his blood."

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House of Spooks too white, eurolingual for war on terror
Washington Post | Submitted by: Rev. Soror Lucy Cannon
The CIA has lots more recruits since Sept. 11 2001, but most of them fit the traditional demographic of white middle-class folks in their 20s or early 30s, and few come ready with fluency in Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, or Pashtun. In fact, only 40 percent are fluent in any foreign language at all. The political climate in the current and potential hot spots doesn't make for an easy time for this generation's would-be T.E. Lawrences.

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Unexplainable trees
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
Some trees are so unusual, they cause people to stop and stare. So, the Department of Natural Resources Division of Forestry in Indiana has decided to search for the state weirdest trees to be added to a booklet.

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Atomic Blackjack
New Jersey Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Thai police have arrested three people suspected of using a radioactive chemical to coat cards and dice designed to help gamblers cheat... The radioactive strontium was painted onto dice and cards, where it could be detected by an electronic sensor held by a gambler."

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Yahoo signs up for censorship
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The 'Public Pledge on Self-Discipline for the China Internet Industry' compels signatories not to post information that will 'jeopardise state security and disrupt social stability', among other restrictions... Signatories should also remove links to sites that contain 'harmful' information [such as rotten.com], "so as to ensure that the content of the network information is lawful and healthy."

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Do birds watch Alfred Hitchcock movies?
The Scotsman | Submitted by: wingnut
"A worker at a city hospital needed emergency treatment after a dive bombing seagull "floored him completely".The man is believed to have suffered serious injuries to his arm when the seagull nesting on the top of a building at the Western General Hospital turned vicious. Other victims have been forced to run for cover as the marauding birds continually swoop down on nurses, staff and visitors to the hospital, using their feet to hit them on the head."

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Here come the Superweeds
UPI | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Many genetically modified cultivated crops could potentially crossbreed with weeds... Weeds are already hardy plants. The addition of transgenes could just make them tougher... The genes will spread and you can't ever take them back, so you have to know is it safe to have them out there. It's both promising but also kind of frightening because what if people make mistakes and you can't take it back."

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COKane no name for officer, police say
El Paso Times | Submitted by: optional
Months later, when [Christine O'Kane, or C. O'Kane] mother's health took a turn for the better, O'Kane applied for reinstatement with the El Paso Police Department but found the department no longer supported her request. Documents show police management cited the 'inappropriate' use of her [Cokane] name as the basis for their denial."

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FCC demanding digital TV, further evils
New York Times | Submitted by: anonymous
The FCC decided Friday to force TV manufacturers to go digital by 2007. "This is not a market-oriented policy," said Michael K. Powell, the chairman of the commission, of the new order. "This is an industrial policy." Translation: Free markets are nice and all, but when you have the huge broadcast monopolies breathing down your neck, you sometimes have to give TV makers a little nudge. The whole point is that federal legislation allows the govt. to sell off the broadcast spectrum once everyone goes digital. Who gave them dibs? What's next, the light spectrum? Or maybe Internet real estate? Oh, wait...

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Monkeys on X
Belleville News-Democrat | Submitted by: Gutter Juice
Get high monkey style: "The millipedes' secretions induce an excited state in the monkeys that lasts up to 30 minutes, kind of like how cats react to catnip. 'They bite the millipedes, then reach behind their back and rub it on their fur,' said Evans, who added that the behavior is natural but rarely seen. 'Their eyes glaze over and they're completely focused on what they're doing.' Last week, one monkey shared a millipede with four family members and the entire family turned into a 'writhing mass.'"

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Truckers deputized as road snitches
Philadelphia Inquirer | Submitted by: D. Rango
Pennsylvania deputizes its inaugural volunteer "trucking army" to fight terrorism. "The state's first 50 trucker recruits were authorized under a federally funded program to report suspicious activity to authorities, regardless of where they are or whether they are on duty... This is not spying... We have citizens on the highway, where there is no expectation of privacy." Not spying.

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