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August 05, 2002

Royal genital speculations
Observer | Submitted by: Noel
"One of the underlying causes of the French Revolution, the disastrous marriage between Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette, has been brought down to size by a meticulous investigation into the royal couple's sexual incompatibility. Put simply, the king was endowed with a ' bracquemart assez considérable' - a rather large penis - and Marie-Antoinette suffered from a condition known in the court as ' l'étroitesse du chemin', a narrow vagina, that made her frigid."

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Workers deboned chickenfeet with their teeth
Straits Times | Submitted by: wingnut
"A Chinese factory here was shut down after its workers were caught using their teeth to debone chicken feet before packing the meat for sale to food outlets. A fast worker could debone one foot in four to five seconds, a speed which works out to more than 100 kg of 'processed' chicken feet a day."

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New Florida ballot fucked up
CNN | Submitted by: Katherine Harassment
Now that we've removed constitutional rights, censored the mainstream press, and kicked out the Freedom of Information Act, nothing could be easier than rigging another Florida ballot. This new ballot has many problems: "The ballot instructs voters to "Vote for One Pair," meaning a combined entry of governor and lieutenant governor, though none of the candidates has chosen a running mate."

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The encroaching tide of spam
Wire Services | Submitted by: meatload
"On a typical day, Hotmail subscribers collectively receive more than 1 billion pieces of junk e-mail. Such spam accounts for 80 percent of messages received, not including mail blocked by Hotmail's first line of filters."

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Elder Bush treated for skin lesions
Washington Post | Submitted by: Yew Furrier
"Bright red sores on former President Bush's cheeks are the result of treatment for sun-induced lesions, not skin cancer, his doctors said. His son, the current president, had similar treatments last December. He had four lesions removed, including two, caused by exposure to the sun, that doctors said could lead to cancer if left untreated." Fantastic closeup picture in second link.

Read article... and This article...

Australian doctor promotes suicide kits
Melbourne Herald Sun | Submitted by: Puppy Rapist
"Do-it-yourself suicide kits will be available Australia-wide within weeks, voluntary euthanasia campaigner Dr Philip Nitschke said yesterday. Dr Nitschke said the controversial "Exit Bag" would be available through his supporters' group, Exit Australia."

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Suffocation deaths in police gas chamber
Telegraph of India | Submitted by: anonymous
Calcutta Black Hole revisited: "A small, windowless suffocating court lock-up in India stuffed with nearly 400 accused, left two dead and more than 100 ill. The accused were beaten up inside the lock-up as they gasped for breath and asked for water to drink. The accused, mostly picked up on charges of petty crimes in an all-night, district-wide round-up, were beaten up inside the lock-up as they gasped for breath and asked for water to drink. Only a handful had their thirst quenched after they agreed to pay policemen Rs 40 for a glass of water."

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Australian vacation ends in Sydney, Canada
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Dennis
Two teens from England not only went to the wrong town, the wrong province, or even the wrong country... they went to the wrong continent. "It was really, really confusing... soon as I saw the ign 'Sydney, Canada,' I knew that obviously it can't be a mistake. I thought, 'Oh my gosh, we're in Canada.'"

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Youth gets 6mo prison for sex with camel
Australian Broadcasting | Submitted by: gremlin
"A court in northern Saudi Arabia has sentenced a Nigerian teenager to six months in jail and 240 lashes for trying to have sex with a camel, Al-Iqtissadiya newspaper reported Sunday."

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Spectacular suicide wins awards
South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: Spookbabe
"Soon after, police forced their way into the building and found the shop owner dead. Police said he had apparently attempted to saw his head off with a band saw that is used to cut meat. The man failed in severing his head, but was successful in killing himself, Gonzalez said."

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Hong Kong chain under fire for dogmeat
BBC | Submitted by: bdragon
"A Hong Kong-based supermarket chain is under pressure to stop selling dog meat in its mainland branches. Animal rights groups are urging ParknShop, owned by tycoon Li Ka-shing, to remove canine meat from its shelves." Dog meat is illegal to sell in Hong Kong, where the chain is based.

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Accordion tragedy at cricket club
Sun | Submitted by: Nick Thompson
"Flames shot 8ft in the air as a crowd of 300 fans packed into a marquee to see their 72-year-old hero. Stunned onlookers, including TV chat king Michael Parkinson and piano maestro Laurie Holloway, dived for cover as smoke billowed through the tent."

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Mystical man struck by lightning
New York Post | Submitted by: Kreepy Monster
"Nathan Maddox, killed by a lightning bolt that ripped through his body from head to foot, was a mystical man, searching for meaning when he urged his friends to join him on a Little Italy rooftop to watch the storm come in, friends and family said yesterday."

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Mark of the Beast introduced in Japan
Wire Services | Submitted by: f00f
"The new database stores personal data, names, addresses, dates of birth, gender and the new ID numbers, for each of Japan's 126 million citizens, making it easier for them to obtain documents for a variety of public services and benefits... 'It's quite common to feel uneasy about something new. We want to keep explaining until such anxieties disappear,' said Chief Cabinet Secretary Yasuo Fukuda." Ah, it's only anxiety. That makes it all so much more sensible now; why, it's not like the government would ever start indiscriminately butchering and enslaving anyone who wasn't Japanese.

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Man drowns dog at the beach
Newsday | Submitted by: Fido the dog
Beachgoers at Jones Beach watched yesterday as a Flushing man repeatedly dunked his pet dachshund underwater for 45 minutes and eventually drowned the pup, New York State Park police said... He said he was "crushed" because he doesn't know how to tell his 11-year-old daughter, who is on vacation in Taiwan, that the dog is dead."

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G.I. Joe doll disarmed at LAX airport
Sky News | Submitted by: bud
"Security officers at Los Angeles Airport have confiscated a gun in a security scare, from a plastic toy soldier. The two-inch weapon belonged to a GI Joe toy, similar to an Action Man. A British tourist told how overzealous security staff confiscated the two-inch-long plastic rifle from a GI Joe toy soldier she was taking home as a gift for her grandson."

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Rifle not found in geriatric's wallet
Hartford Courant | Submitted by: stripey357
An eighty year old veteran's wallet is being searched for the Nth time, and he makes an unfortunate remark: "What do you expect to find in there, a rifle?" He ends up being jailed and fingerprinted.

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Resist the Disney!
Independent | Submitted by: Soylent
"Rowan Williams, the new Archbishop of Canterbury, is right: the cultivation of children as consumers has taken on monstrous proportions. The super abundance of movie tie-ins, Happy Meals and plastic toys not only fills children's lives with useless junk; thanks to cross-marketing, the system also ensures that one purchase inevitably becomes a stimulus to further consumption, creating an endlessly expanding circle of insatiable consumerist desire."

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Man clipped by helicoptor rotor blades
Champaign News-Gazette | Submitted by: anonymous
"On Friday night, during the first day of competition at the former Chanute Air Force Base, a Maryland man was killed videotaping his friend's sky-diving adventure when he apparently got too close to the helicopter as it was taking off."

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